Better Half

The past 3 years have been simply wonderful. it's been a journey. an amazing, beautiful journey. the things that we've been through together since we got here 3 years ago have pulled us much much closer. (boy! have we been through a lot!)

I've learnt more and more to be a wife without losing my own self. i've learnt how to love even more. i've learnt how to appreciate even more. i've learnt how to tolarate even more. i've learnt to be patient even more. i've learnt to share and smile even more. i've learnt when to step in and when to just sit back and observe. i've learnt to be even more supportive and understanding. i've learnt to be more positive. i've learnt to be more forgiving. i've learnt to be much calmer. i've learnt to take things lighter sometimes and be less serious. i've learnt to be stronger. all this, with still being myslef.

I've learnt more and more of the term 'better half'.

Now, i dont just plan to say it, i plan to live up to it. i shall try with all my heart and all my might!

Here's to us. 3 amazing, wonderful years anyone could ever wish for. he is indeed my better half. 

Still rooted, grounded..

Still wangi...

Still as bubbly and sparkly...

Still as sweet...

... and still solid

I'm now gonna wipe my tears and wish you all, all the love in the world. for i truly am grateful, thankful beyond words for this one. (H, get your ass back here quick! ;) safe trip home.. love you more than you can imagine).

The Simplest Thing

I am incredibly touched by those who had left us such wonderful words in our last post. I am grateful for all the suggestions. i feel so connected to all of you with your stories.  i wish i could give you, each one of you a big huge hug.

A lot has happened since my last post and our brave and amazingly strong neighbours are still fighting this great fight. on the other side of things, i've come to terms with some people being not on the same wavelength as us. i've come to terms to those who have the wrong perception towards us. i've come to terms with those who just cant stop talking about other people. i've come to terms with those who just refuse to see there's more things in life than just them. i've accepted them all. 

I am handling it as wisely as possible. and yes, i'm still handling Holland (and life, for that matter!) and i'm loving it!

Life is bigger than conflicts, life is bigger than material stuff, life is bigger than what others have, life is bigger than what other people think of you... sometimes you just have to look at life's simplest pleasures.. the little little things you get to see everyday... like this for example!

I lead a very simple life here, believe it or not. and we intend to stay living our simple life for as long as we can. Life is what YOU have, and how YOU make the best out of it.

Captured these pictures while on our way to the UK. this was taken in France, before we reached the Eurotunnel. I think they are simply gorgeous. how often do we stop and appreciate this? i appreciate life, i appreciate love, sincerity and everything that we see with every each passing day.

This is life. this is my life. me being such a softie, a whimpy mum and wife.. i sometimes cry looking at my two boys together. enjoying their time in their own special fluffy white duvet, somewhat like the clouds huh?! ;)

It makes me feel like i'm on cloud 9!

Have a wonderful, beautiful weekend everyone.. no more clouds, we shall now enjoy the snowy weather..

Z

What Do You Say...

What do you say when someone talks bad about you?

What do you say when someone utters hurtful words to you?

What do you say when people judge you based on what others say?

and...

What do you say when someone very dear to you's been told that he's got a couple of months to live?

Well, everything in life is a choice. You can lash out to those who talk bad of you and your family, you can certainly confront them, you can give them a taste of their own words, you can take it up to the next level and which will probably cause an argument, or, you can say nothing.

There are all types of people that makes this world, and i dont expect everyone to be the same. to me, my parents are one of the two most patient people in the world, alongside Hardy. we have had so many people talk about us, our family. it gets to me, up to a point. and to be honest, i cant help but to think that God had 'saved' us from all those by sending us here. well, at least it eases a little bit. 

I dont know their reasons for doing so. but what i do know is that we're true to ourselves and our beliefs. we're taking care of our family and ourselves and minding our own business. we are grateful to have amazing friends and we're grateful that we're living our lives.

It hurts, of course. but somethings are better left unspoken. somethings are better left unsaid. there's really no point of justifying everything to everybody.

What my parents had taught me was, think before you say something. if it can cause hurt and damage and will create anger, think again. i am seen to be the most soft hearted person by my husband. how soft hearted am i? well, i cried to Obama's speech when he won the election. that's how soft i can be! and i'm not even an american!

Now, back to those questions.. what do you say? what would you do?

Here in Holland, we're so lucky to have wonderful neighbours. the de Vries family are the closest people to us here. it's great to be able to trust somebody when you're still new to the country. they are the type of people whom you can trust to leave your keys with, whom you can always count for help, whom you can always sit down and have a chat over a cuppa tea and some vlaai... they're the type of neighbours whom you can always joke with and rely on... always.

John has his own workshop and is his own boss, while wife Angelie is the co owner of Aidan's playschool.

There was this one occation where Hardy was away and i had no bike, and so i decided not to send Aidan to playschool. they are the type of people who'd go beyond their routines to help us. John would rather not go to work and send and fetch Aidan from school. Angelie would do the same. every season we would get at least a gift from them. they'd always give Aidan something, presents and cards, books and toys.. and of course we would do the same for them and bring them back at least something from where we've been. the least we could do...

Last 4 months have been very tough on the whole family. it's been tough on us as well seeing them almost everyday. John has been diagnosed of Cancer. you can imagine how it has affected us. i cried the whole week and i just couldnt bring myself to see him. it was all a sudden. and the results are not on our side. the doctor said he has a few months. 

Took me a while to grab hold of myself before i could see him after the news.

They went for a second opinion. and still, the results are not good. i've ran out of words to say to him. and so now, i chose to say nothing but let my actions say it all.

But there was this one thing that i whispered to him as i hugged him before he left for Leuven. i said to him - so, ok, your organs are failing, but one thing still remains good is your heart. you are a strong, good man.

I guess what i'm really trying to say (and tell myself here) is to stay positive. stay hopeful. stay positive, no matter how hard it is. stay positive no matter how many evil voices there are in your head (and out there!). h0peful - hopeful it will all turn out good, hopeful those people will change, hopeful they wont talk bad about you and your family, hopeful they wont judge me anymore, hopeful they will mend their ways, hopeful they will change the way they think. 

Saying nothing doesnt mean you're not hurt. saying nothing doesnt mean you've lost the so called fight. saying noting doesnt mean you're wrong. saying nothing doesnt mean you dont care. it is staying true to yourself, your beliefs and what you feel and deem is right. 

We read that lemongrass can kill cancer cells. we buy them for John twice a week since we heard the news, in hope that it kills all the bad cells. i hope John will live to battle out the cancer. i hope John will stay positive and hope he will enjoy the rest of the days. 

I am hopeful for so, SO many other things. and  i thank God for keeping us, my family, my parents healthy and well.

Have a good weekend everyone. thanks for always hopping by to read! 

Z

Its Been a While ey?

  

 

I have been spending lots of quality time with Aidan lately. he is now in a different stage and to be honest, i have never felt so comfortable and confident being a mum, like how i'm currently feeling. he's much more independent yes. sometimes i do struggle. but most importantly, i enjoy every second of it. he's more of a companion for me now, we talk, we joke, we strike conversations, we cook, we fold (clothes), we clean (mostly his mess)...

I am however very strict with routines and my do's and my dont's. and the best bit these days, he can be asked to do things, he listens and understands, and he knows his please and thank yous! (i'd better stop bragging!)

I am seriously setting some ground rules and pilling those concrete foundation. hopefully he'll have good solid roots, so that i'd feel much safer and have tonnes of confidence before i let him 'fly'.

It is just pure joy, beyond words just by looking at him and watch him play on his own and doing his own thing. he is now at a stage of imagining, in his own world. both Hardy and i are often amazed with the things that he can do, and our faces would beam with proudness. 

Lin (my new friend from Paris) once asked me, how does it feel to be a mother? i answered her in one word - Proud. 

I think i'm made for this. i'm made to mother. i'm defintely not made to study (unlike my brainy sister), i'm definately not made to work behind a desk in an office (the only desk i'm made for is my craft desk!).. i am made to mother, and i mother almost everyone!

Anyway, it is now autumn, it's getting cooler and almost all the leaves are gone. i wanted to snap some good shots of autumn but so far, i managed to get only one. this one's my favorite. taken just outside our home, on our driveway. autumn's beautiful, but sadly, the night will become longer thus, we would have lesser sunlight during the day. but every season has its own charm. 

I'm off to finish unpacking. our surprise UK trip for my sister was a success! we had a brilliant time, although i wish we could stay longer and spend more time with all and visit some of our closest friends and relatives.. hopefully next time.. 

I dont know about you, but i have a theme song for every season! and this year's autumn, i am currently in love with 'No Air'. a nice song to listen to on the background when you're on your sofa, both feet up, with a hot drink in your hand and watch those leaves fall!

Enjoy both versions! i'm off to mother Hardy now that Aidan's asleep! he.. he.. have a great week ahead everyone! 

No Air - David Slides

No Air - Boyce Avenue