Monday, 16 November 2009

Finding, Giving, Living and Loving

Sharing some of our precious time together (i'm sure my sister would share her side of their lovely time spent together if she has the time to even put her feet up!). our one fine day at the park near our home.
with one of my favourite country singers, Alison Krauss in the background singing one of the most beautiful songs - a simple love.

I cant begin to tell you how much a family life means to me. i dont think i'm made for the corporate world, working behind a desk nor am i made for a lavish lifestyle. i think i'm simply made to nurture and i am trully grateful for the opportunity to be a full time mother and a wife. we all want wealth, yes. but we must not forget about wanting good health, good balance between work and family, a good mind to think, a good heart, alongside all other little details that we often forget - happiness, tranquility and be at ease with everything and everyone around you. i've always stressed the importance of having a balance life, where you can reach that level where you and your partner/family are comfortable leading your own life, how you want it to be, shaping your future together, no matter where you are and how much you have in your pockets with happiness in your hands. it is important.

Yes, i acknowledge, some people are luckier than others. but the key is never ever compare yourself with someone who has more than what you have. compare yourselves with someone who has less than what you have. that way, you can be grateful for the tiniest littlest things!

Our family is everything to us. they mean the absolute world. i'm extremely lucky to have both my parents come and visit me quite regularly here in holland. i am very lucky indeed. its not just their company, its their advise, its the love, its the support and the understanding that i have been getting from them when they're here that means a huge deal to me.

Little little things matter to me. a walk in the park, feeding the ducks mean so much. having that extra snuggling time in bed on saturdays and sundays just me and my boys, the 3 of us means a lot. watching aidan in hardy's arms and us, walking hand in hand means the absolute world. we often miss those little details. i sometimes forget myself, especially when housework is pilling up, ideas on what to craft comes in mind.. but thankfully, there's always someone to support me (by helping with some of the chores!), and remind me (by pinching and telling me that i've been slacking!)

I wish to give my parents everything for what they've given me and my sister. if i may be brutally honest, here's how i'd put it- i see the need to "save" my parents from the "hustle and bustle, the backstabbing, the snubbing, the scolding, the accusing" of being in malaysia. when we went back to malaysia for a month last summer, the "dramas" and all began as soon as i sat foot at my parent's new home, i heard and saw what they had to go through, i felt really sad for them. they do not deserve it. at this age, all i want is for them to be happy, healthy and enjoying life.

We've gone through quite a bit, my family and i. mum and dad mostly (hardy has his own stories to tell, but yeah..) we've gone through different "dramas" many, many times before. i think we got better and better in handling the situation. we cant change others, so there is no point of prolonging the issue and pointing fingers. we focus on what we have now in our hands and use that to make us happy. i'm glad i'm able to see mum and dad happy here, at this part of the world with us, where both their grandsons are. my sister and i are grateful beyond words.

At times, it can get a little off balance too! but it certainly helps to have your other half reminding you once in a while! Most people dont believe this, but everything in this world is enough for everyone. you choose your paths. you choose which door to open and then you make your journey. i trully utterly hope everyone (including us) would find some balance in their lives and have plenty of love to give.

A whole new journey awaits. its been a pretty crazy but exciting month for hardy and i. very very grateful and thankful for such opportunities. i hope that we wont lose that balance and love and be really thankful with what we have wherever we are. i wish to give more as well. more love, and more happiness, more balance wherever we may be.

Lets all find the balance, give love and living our lives happy...

Monday, 9 November 2009

The Move

Last couple of weeks have been a very very emotional week for me. its been pretty full on. a whole lot of thinking, discussions, planning and weighing... and so we decided to drive france for the week last week, just for a short get-away.

Apart from what we're going through, remember my next door neighbour John and Angelie? well, they've finally sold their house after 30 years. the 1st of this month, they said their goodbyes to their beloved house and the beautiful neighbourhood.

The neighbourhood is what made us bought our current house. an open space in front of our house, a small community football stadium nearby, a lake walking distance, a playgroud and of course the quietness and the friendliness of most the neighbours.

It was what John wanted before he passed away last christmas - to move his workshop, garage and home all at one place. their new home is absolutely gorgeous, everything's new and plenty of space.

The whole family's been absolutely wonderful to us. more than wonderful in fact. i love them with all my heart. they've been an incredible support to us and we have so much love for them. it was very very sad to see them leave. leaving behind lots of memories but i'm very sure that there's plenty of good things to come for them.

The last day before they handed the keys over, i managed to take some shots of their house. i promised angelie i'll make a photobook for her. that house means a lot to her and the boys. i'm thrilled she's fond of the idea. we said our goodbyes and angelie being angelie, always showers us with gifts. she came over with beautiful arrangement of lilies for us. i cried as she drove off pass our house that evening...

Its not the same anymore. i know i shouldnt dwell on it too much but i miss having their cars next door, i miss hearing aidan run towards the window to waive at angelie and the boys everytime they pass by... i miss having chats in between our compounds... i suppose i need to get used to it, and move on!

Change sometimes can be hard. a move is a big thing. especially for someone like me, a sentimental softy. for some, its difficult to let go of things, especially when you dont know what's on the other side (yet). for some others, it'll be thrilling, a whole new adventure. there'll be a lot of concerns, too many questions that needs answering and experiencing. your gut feeling must be a good one, just like before we decided to purchase our home here (eventhough it was a very very old house with tonnes to do, but it felt so good and so right). its best to put both feet on the ground and try not to think too much on the rewards and remunerations (although it looks bloody good) while we pen down important thoughts and concerns to bring forward, weigh every possibility, the plus and the minuses and plan on how we would like to live our lives with the changes. i mumble too much...

Anyway, John would have been so proud of his family. he must be smiling now.

I pray for the best, for them and for us all.

Its lovely to be back at home, our sweet home after one whole week in france. washing's all done and now i'm left with loads of ironing.
p.s: thank you SO much for the love and lovely loving wishes for us and especially for aidan. sending you all our love, always..