Sunday, 30 August 2009


There's just something about weddings. we planned our trip back to malaysia specially in time for one special wedding -my cousin's. i miss weddings. i miss the "kecohness", the voices of so many people getting involved with everything, i miss coming up with ideas for favors and such, i miss the smell of fresh flowers and new carpets.. i miss helping, i miss them all. although it can be a little bit too much at times, with wedding invites almost every week especially during school holidays (if you're back home). but after not attending a malay wedding for 4 years, you tend to miss it. it was certainly nice to be part of one. so just imagine how excited i was!

It was also our son's first malay wedding experience! a chance for him to meet everyone. i was very, VERY excited for him! we have loved meeting EVERYONE at the wedding. it was just a nice feeling to get to meet everyone again, the hugs and kisses, sharing a giggle and some laughters.. made it all worth it. it made me feel loved, very much loved.

The mother of the bride helped us a lot during our wedding. she really did. her presense, her laughter, her effort, her time, her smiles and her support meant a lot to me, my sister and most of all my mum. i've enjoyed the build up to my wedding so much thanks to her and the rest of the gang! i can never repay what she and the others did but will always be thankful for their neverending love and concern and help during that time. in fact, i've enjoyed the pre wedding days more than the wedding reception itself (although my nikah day was something really special!).

My cousin's wedding was a beautiful one. a wedding every girl would dream of! it was full of fresh flowers, you can even smell them from the road, the food was excellent, the crowd was a cheerful and happy one, the bridesmaids looked stunning in their dresses and the bride looked absolutely amazing, and most importantly, everyone was happy. any newlyweds would be lucky to have all these..


Weddings- they can either bring people together, much closer then before, or in rare cases, they can pull you apart.

Weddings- you can really see people's true colours..

One example, just one example- mine. my wedding. it had brought one person closer to our family. and those close friends and familes got closer. and sometimes, it doesnt really go your way. you cant have it all. there will bound to be "kecik hati" and "merajuks".. some will not show their actions/reactions but some will.

My mother has never cried how she cried that day on my reception day. she didnt deserve it, and neither did i. but i suppose elders being elders, we'd still have to respect them. how did we deal with it? we just think of all the others who love and care about us, and concentrate on being happy with what we have, at that every moment. and who helped us during that time? these wonderful warm loving, sincere people, some whom are friends but i'm ever so proud to call them family...

I guess what i've learnt from this is sometimes with all the "kecohness", you have to just sit back and witness, appreciate and feel the love at that moment. that very moment. glad i've managed to capture some of those moments on camera! i'm really happy that my cousin's wedding went smoothly and everything went well.. we had a wonderful time with everybody and hope to be together again... soon...

I know its a long.. LONG way to go, but driving home from my cousin's beautiful union, i cant help but to think of my son's wedding. how will it be... will he get his way, or will we as parents get ours! i hope, and i really REALLY hope that he'll grow up knowing his roots, where he comes from. i hope he knows the meaning and the difference between adat and adab and most importantly i hope he respects it. both hardy and i are very sensible and practical people, i just hope it wont be too much of a headache! and like most parents, we hope and pray our kids will marry the one person, who will love him and treasure him with all her heart and they will be very happy and be blessed with all the good things in life.

Dont you just love weddings?!

Tuesday, 11 August 2009

After Nearly 4 Years

We decided that this year would be THE year. the year we'd go back to Malaysia. Hardy and i left Malaysia almost 4 years ago, almost right after we got married. our wedding day was also the day we said goodbye to all of our family and friends. we left so many things behind.
I left Malaysia with the feeling of wanting to start a new life. completely new. a lot of things happened a couple of years prior to the wedding (and even during my wedding!). there will
always be a crowd of people that you'd want to avoid having contact with (i'm sure most of you'd share the same feeling too if you know what i had to go through), and all i wanted was to have a happy, healthy, good and balanced life with my husband and my family.

I will not speak on my husband's behalf. but like most people, we all had our past.

It was our chance. our chance to lead a new life together and so we left the country with only the good intentions (and with just a couple of suitcases). and after nearly 4 years, its time to go back home for a visit. yes of course i was all excited. i was so looking forward to eating thosai, satay and nasi dagang! but if i may be honest, i was more nervous than i was excited.

I was sad to leave our home, our comfortable, calm routine behind for 5 long weeks. i was nervous of the long flights, how will Aidan be on the plane... how would some people react towards us, will they welcome us or will they just ignore (not that we've done anything wrong!). i was nervous. happy but nervous. i didnt know what to expect (silly, i know!) but i hoped for the best.

Flight was good. it was our first time travelling with Emirates. everybody was very friendly and the inflight entertainment was first class! Aidan enjoyed himself and all of us really enjoyed the food. those beautiful stewardess all wanted to kiss Aidan but he was so shy.. only one managed to kiss him on his cheek! Aidan didnt sleep at all during our first half of the flight. we treated him to a cold icy drink at Dubai airport's starbucks during transit, and just before the plane took off to Singapore, he dozed off!

I remember crying as the plane took off from Dusseldorf. and i remember holding Hardy's hand as soon as we landed in Singapore, again crying. it was this one feeling that i just cannot describe. we left Malaysia with just a couple of suicases almost 4 years ago, and now we're back together with our son!

A lot has changed. but some havent changed even a bit. the roads have been broadened. new buildings, we also saw some old familiar shops.. still there.. and as we sat in the car with my trustable and wonderful nephew Faizal telling me all the changes in JB, in my heart, i was praying - i just hope some people have changed for the better...

We reached my parents house and that picture of them welcoming us to their new lovely home will forever be in my heart. always. both with open arms running towards us and the look on their faces was priceless. it was just way so special.

We hugged and we kissed. and then it was my turn to hug mum. she then broke down. she broke down like i have never seen before. rebah is the malay word for it. i then knew something was wrong but i also knew she was so happy to see us. a relief. i was just so happy that i was at the right place, at the right time- with my parents.

Dramas. of course we'd expect dramas and all. both our families had a few dramas going on! we had hoped it wouldnt be too much. but then again, we could only hope. how we just wish it will all end so that everybody can grow and live happy lives! i know its not that simple for some but trust me, if you want your life to be simple, it CAN be simple. during the course of 5 weeks, we had heard and come to know of so many unpleasant news- fights, arguments, sickness, divorces... some are beyond us. then it all got to me. it was a bit overwhelming. all a little bit too much. but we handled everything our way. the calm and quiet way.

The people. one of the main reasons why Malaysia is Malaysia (if you know what i mean!). i used pray wanting to have a life away from some people, after what they did to me and my parents. i guess God heard my prayers! scarry! some are still as before, ever so caring and welcoming. some have surprised me, some really moved me.. while some was just the same 'ol, same 'ol. we cant do much but to pray that they'll change for the better.

Most of our time in Malaysia was with the people that we love and care. 5 weeks on paper seems like a pretty long time. but trust me, it wasnt all that long! i didnt manage to see all my friends (hope they'd understand). but the ones that we managed to meet have left us with such a big impact (some better than others!). and so i've decided to write not just on our routes in Malaysia, but also about the people and what i've learnt from them.

Aidan's first trip to a pasar malam in JB while holding a malaysian flag,
Aidan with his headphone watching inflight entertainment (Dusseldorf-Dubai)
Aidan was kissed! (Dubai-Singapore)
Reunied- Aidan met opa and oma- a picture of pure bliss!