What do you say when someone talks bad about you?
What do you say when someone utters hurtful words to you?
What do you say when people judge you based on what others say?
What do you say when someone very dear to you's been told that he's got a couple of months to live?
Well, everything in life is a choice. You can lash out to those who talk bad of you and your family, you can certainly confront them, you can give them a taste of their own words, you can take it up to the next level and which will probably cause an argument, or, you can say nothing.
There are all types of people that makes this world, and i dont expect everyone to be the same. to me, my parents are one of the two most patient people in the world, alongside Hardy. we have had so many people talk about us, our family. it gets to me, up to a point. and to be honest, i cant help but to think that God had 'saved' us from all those by sending us here. well, at least it eases a little bit.
I dont know their reasons for doing so. but what i do know is that we're true to ourselves and our beliefs. we're taking care of our family and ourselves and minding our own business. we are grateful to have amazing friends and we're grateful that we're living our lives.
It hurts, of course. but somethings are better left unspoken. somethings are better left unsaid. there's really no point of justifying everything to everybody.
What my parents had taught me was, think before you say something. if it can cause hurt and damage and will create anger, think again. i am seen to be the most soft hearted person by my husband. how soft hearted am i? well, i cried to Obama's speech when he won the election. that's how soft i can be! and i'm not even an american!
Now, back to those questions.. what do you say? what would you do?
Here in Holland, we're so lucky to have wonderful neighbours. the de Vries family are the closest people to us here. it's great to be able to trust somebody when you're still new to the country. they are the type of people whom you can trust to leave your keys with, whom you can always count for help, whom you can always sit down and have a chat over a cuppa tea and some vlaai... they're the type of neighbours whom you can always joke with and rely on... always.
John has his own workshop and is his own boss, while wife Angelie is the co owner of Aidan's playschool.
There was this one occation where Hardy was away and i had no bike, and so i decided not to send Aidan to playschool. they are the type of people who'd go beyond their routines to help us. John would rather not go to work and send and fetch Aidan from school. Angelie would do the same. every season we would get at least a gift from them. they'd always give Aidan something, presents and cards, books and toys.. and of course we would do the same for them and bring them back at least something from where we've been. the least we could do...
Last 4 months have been very tough on the whole family. it's been tough on us as well seeing them almost everyday. John has been diagnosed of Cancer. you can imagine how it has affected us. i cried the whole week and i just couldnt bring myself to see him. it was all a sudden. and the results are not on our side. the doctor said he has a few months.
Took me a while to grab hold of myself before i could see him after the news.
They went for a second opinion. and still, the results are not good. i've ran out of words to say to him. and so now, i chose to say nothing but let my actions say it all.
But there was this one thing that i whispered to him as i hugged him before he left for Leuven. i said to him - so, ok, your organs are failing, but one thing still remains good is your heart. you are a strong, good man.
I guess what i'm really trying to say (and tell myself here) is to stay positive. stay hopeful. stay positive, no matter how hard it is. stay positive no matter how many evil voices there are in your head (and out there!). h0peful - hopeful it will all turn out good, hopeful those people will change, hopeful they wont talk bad about you and your family, hopeful they wont judge me anymore, hopeful they will mend their ways, hopeful they will change the way they think.
Saying nothing doesnt mean you're not hurt. saying nothing doesnt mean you've lost the so called fight. saying noting doesnt mean you're wrong. saying nothing doesnt mean you dont care. it is staying true to yourself, your beliefs and what you feel and deem is right.
We read that lemongrass can kill cancer cells. we buy them for John twice a week since we heard the news, in hope that it kills all the bad cells. i hope John will live to battle out the cancer. i hope John will stay positive and hope he will enjoy the rest of the days.
I am hopeful for so, SO many other things. and i thank God for keeping us, my family, my parents healthy and well.
Have a good weekend everyone. thanks for always hopping by to read!