Tuesday, 4 December 2007

Roots and Wings

Its back to being just the 3 of us now. and now Hardy is at work, i'm at home alone with Aidan now napping before going to school for half a day. mum and dad had left for the UK to my sister's last saturday morning. i sobbed uncontrollably as soon as we got home from the airport. the house now seems too big for us. i miss them both. i miss their voices, i miss the noises, i miss going out with them, i miss the smell of dad's cooking, i miss going to the craft shops with mum, miss going to the chippy every tuesday afternoon, i miss them playing with Aidan, i miss Aidan's laugh laughing at them, miss saying good night and good morning to them... but most of all, i miss having conversations with them on the dining table.

Eversince i was young, we have always had good conversations during our meals. the advices, the lectures, the gossips, the examples, the laughs. sometimes the best advise given to us are by our own parents, without you realizing it.

The topic of camping came up one fine evening, while we were having dinner. Hardy mentioned he wants to take Aidan to the woods (a real forest) for a camping trip when our son's bigger, it'll be a thrill - he claimed. i struggled to see his point. being a person who has never gone camping, and a person who watches too many scarry tv programmes, i tried compromising by saying i'd be more than happy to make our back garden a forest for the 2 of them, i'll plant some big plants and play voices of the earth cd and make a huge tent, i'll cook dinner and they can place them on the bonfire... they can camp outside! i'll be happy.

Apprently that's not Hardy's idea of camping. that's not his idea of survival. his idea of camping is to pee and poo in the woods, use leaves to wipe their bums, eat whatever they can find in the jungle, get bitten by nyamoks and god knows whatever bugs out there, not sleep comfortably on a matress, sleep next to some creepy crawlies which they might probably not know of their names, be on the lookout for animals... and god knows whatever else...

Being an ex RMC boy, dad agreed on going camping. we exchanged laughs and they listened to me reasoning out. and then he said:

"Adik, as parents, you'd want to give your children roots and wings. strong roots so that he'll be stable. and wings for them to be free and fly experiencing the world. one day you will have to let him go and let him do his things."

I cant imagine letting my son fly. i cant even bare to be apart from him for one night, let alone see him fly and see the world, or get married for that matter! i then conclude and come to terms with the issue of bringing Aidan camping - it all boils down to roots. it is therefore really important to have such good roots. good solid roots so that when he flies, you will feel confident and rest assured and hopefully he'll have roots to fall back onto.

Thanks dad, thank you mum for giving us solid roots and strong wings. we miss you both very much and cant wait to see you for christmas!



Akmal said...

Kak Zaza,
Nice writing indeed.
Hardy's idea of camping is cool I'd say(",). You know, being real to the wild, and stuffs. I cannot comment much about roots and wings. But i have to thank my parent for teaching me on how to survive life, the ups and downs, the same thing your parent taught you right(",)?
They are the best friend ever(",).
Good day(",)

Aidan' said...

In the words of Earl Wood, Tiger's father who passed away last year, on his support of Tiger's upbringing and phenomenal development into golfing world:

"I had pulled back, one item at a time. Instead of going to several tournaments, it was a couple of tournaments, then one tournament. All of a sudden, he was running everything. I stood there and watched it happen. Because that was my job -- to prepare him to leave."


mº¿ºsh, brecht & nora said...

dear zaza, u r one blessed soul! u r so very lucky, i am so envious of u! Your folks come visit pretty often i would say, my mum and only brother havent made it here to Belgium yet, i hope someday they will, insyaAllah. And u r seeing them so soon again, Xmas! wow...Aidan, Hardy and u are all very lucky indeed, thx for sharing their advice ; ) - Mush -

mº¿ºsh, brecht & nora said...

oh i forgot to add, i am completely on your side about camping Zaza! i hv never been on one and i hv a phobia of creepy crawlies and not cleaning oneself properly, so picturing us doing pee or poo in the woods, is out of the world for me hehehehhe

Cat Cat said...

Now I'm missing my mom and dad so much... HUHU!!

Salina said...

Dear Zaza,

You made me miss my mum so much! I honestly don't mind listening to her 'sermons' and 'lectures' now. I hardly know my father but i am fortunate enough to have two strong women in my life who gave me solid roots and strong wings to fly (I love the phrase!). I believe you and hubby will be able to provide Aidan strong roots and wings too! You have such a wise father!

Camping! I did some camping in europe when i was 21 and it was quite fun back then! But now i prefer to stay in the comfort of a caravan if i ever want to go camping!

European forest is not as bad as our jungle! But will definitely won't do any camping in the UK! i can't stand the cacing tanah over here! They are so fat and long!Yucks! The soil must be very nutritious!

Anis Zainal-Pacleb said...

zaza dearie, jangan la sedih2... time really flies and tup..tup.. it's already christmas. I can feel ur sadness and loneliness (though hardy & aidan r always by your side) as my mom is going to Mekah this sunday... I bet i'll cry a river when we sent her off at Tabung Haji, Kelana Jaya...

On another note, I completely agree with Hardy about the camping trip (sorry dear, I always like camping and jungle trekking though our hutan here is full of pacat, lintah and etc....)

Theta said...

Zaza dear,

It'll be three weeks to Christmas time and before you know it, your parents are by your side again.

Time flies when you're occupied. Crafts and cookery perhaps? ;-)

Roots and wings? I concur. Those are the makings of a great individual. Take care!

Anonymous said...

i know how you feel la...whenever my mum and dad balik, it was so depressing. at least you have your buah hati aidan to keep your spirits up. but dont worry, xmas is not that far away, so smtg to look fwd to!

my dad is an old putera too, what a coincidence.


Kak Shasha said...

Hi za....
It's true bout letting your child experience things that may make us hysterical but are essential in making them grow into a better person. When we grow old and see our children become adults then only will we be able to realise that we have made the right choices.
I can still remember the first time a.zam brought afi on one of his fishing trips in Endau Rompin where there are god knows what wild animals and stayed on a house they called 'tapuk' which is built on a stream. He came back and was so excited telling me bout his experiences. One of it was it was raining so heavily and a tree fell right beside the tapuk and he saw a large phyton and water snake. I almost passed out and told a.zam there will be no more such trips with the chldren. After a while when i see afi grow older i realise due to that experience he has grown to be stronger and not afraid to take chances.
There on bila a.zam brings him along , i've learnt to let go. Even though god knows separuh gila dibuatnye tunggu diorg balik! Heee.....hheeee....
Loves k.shasha

mommy@lif said...

dear zaza,very wise advice indeed. thanks for sharing

i hope i could provide solid roots and wings for my child(ren) too. hahahah my son nak bicycle pon punya lama i biar je.. cos i'm afraid he'd fall. i have to loosen up a bit lah..

Zara's Mama said...

I can imagine how hard it must be for you to say good byes to them.

But never mind, you get to see them often too.. not too bad.

Wiz said...

It'll only be a few days till Christmas Zaza, thought they are going back to Malaysia. And you will be occupied with your christmas cards and crafts and cooks, and b4 you know it, you'll be listening to their voices over dinner again, yay!

Camping? depends which forest or jungle we are talking about. If Malaysia errrm like No! If Europe, a definite Yes! It will be full of fairies and elves Zaza! In contrast to Msian jungle, it'd be infested with bunians and beings you are afraid to talk about, ha ha ha. So I guess I'm game for the camping idea.

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

akmal: your parents would be so proud of you, knowing that you'd consider them as your bestfriends. and arent them lucky. yes i suppose we're lucky to have them teach us how to survive and have such values. always, always tell them you love them!

aidan's papa: hey you forgot to write the word papa la! and stop writing comments, write a proper blog instead! the one that pays! hahahaahah!!

mush: indeed we consider ourselves very lucky. thankful and very grateful! i sincerely hope that your family will get to visit you, b and nora one day. insyaallah! but hey, at least you get to go back to s'pore and enjoy the weather and the food too!! kan? i'm so not into forest and camping. i'm into pondok pondok and masak masak. but not in the woods, no way! heheh

cat: call them! tell them you love and miss them!

salina: call your mom(s) today and tell them you miss and love them! they'd be over the moon to hear your voice, i'm sure of that! i mind them lecturing me over and over again, but i know they have a good reason for it. so at that time, tahan aja la, i will only sedar later.. way later.. and then be thankful they said it again and again!

the dutch are so into caravans! i'd try caravaning once maybe, but not the real camping in the jungle, europe or malaysia, no thank you!! hahaha!! how was your experience? scarry tak?

anis: did you cry buckets yesterday? i wish your mum selamat jalan, selamat mengerjakan ibadah haji, dan semoga amalan amalan diberkati Allah, insyaallah.

you agree in going camping?! even with the pacat and lintah? btw, whats the difference between pacat and lintah eh? hehe..

theta: 2 more weeks! yippeee!! you're so right, i'm pretty much occupied with the cards! memang tak sedar!

tw: kan? kan? sedih kan?? you've got your buah hati as well! ik kan ada!!! and you'll always have me to read your blog! ;)

your dad an old putera? what year? does he know my dad? perhaps my uncles?!

k.sha: oh my god, i dont think i will ever let hardy and aidan go to the jungle now that i heard afi saw a phython. no way! no wayyy!! but i really salute those mothers who actually alows their boys to actually "fly" at an early age! and i dont think i'd be able to sleep when they're out there! but i bet you afi will remember that forever! all our love, lots of hugs and kisses!

mommy@lif: like you i have to loosen up a bit as well. and i am positive, almost certain you'll provide good roots for him!

zara&zaria's mama: it was hard and i know it was just to the UK and i'll get to see them in 3 weeks (then).. but i was so used to having them here with me and aidan. god knows how much i'd cry when they leave back home to malaysia!!!! :((((

wiz: hahahahhahhahah! bunians and beings! lagi la... another reason i can tell hardy that i cannot let my son go camping! but wiz, every forest got animals, every forest got creepies, not just in malaysia! you guys can go camping while i stay in the caravan!! hehe ;)