Before i even begin, i must thank you all for all the comments and emails regarding my last post. i want you to know that i have read them but i just havent had the chance to reply to each individual comments and emails. i am humbled by your generosity with words and also moved by some of your comments and emails. i thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart!
In case you're wondering why i have been so quiet, well, we are all doing good. everyone's healthy and happy, we're just a bit busy. busy living life! we did quite a bit of travelling lately, from the middle east, to asia and within europe itself. i needed some time to just enjoy the moment, digest without documenting every step of our journey (although i did pen it down!).
Life's been absolutely amazing for us. we've got too much to be thankful for. sometimes we forget that. and sometimes we need an extra nudge from someone or something that we saw during our visits to make us realize how lucky we are.
The past couple of months flew by really fast. i've learnt and experienced a lot. felt touched by a lot of people. its been overwhelming and like always, i managed to sit on my favorite seat with a hot drink in my hand and take them all in.
I've realized now my motherhood stage has entered a different level. as i lay down in bed watching him sleep next to me, i cannot believe that he has grown into a responsible boy and how far we've come since his birth. how he loves to help with almost everything, how he comforts me when i'm sad and looked worried, how he reasons things out, how he negotiates with me and how lovely it is to be kissed and be told that he loves me without having to ask! how he is grateful for all the things he gets and thanking me each day. it's been rewarding. absolutely rewarding watching a child grow, my son grow.
Colleagues now have a different meaning to us. last monday was just so special beyond words for both hardy and i. it doesnt matter how many friends you have in this world, it is the type of friends that you have. we are extremely lucky to get to know and be friends with some of the nicest, sincerest people here. the support and friendship means the world to us. i think, for both hardy and i, we love to give. i feel content everytime i give, from love, time, knowledge to material things. personally i think giving (without expecting anything in return!!) is much more than receiving. we're so used to giving till we forget how it feels to be at the receiving end! and last monday, hardy was at the receiving end. i was touched and couldnt be prouder. and hardy was totally chuffed. he was absolutely chuffed. you see, each of us carry our own stories of how we get to the point that we are in now. not everyone knows the whole entire story. we carry them ourselves with hope, faith and strength to where ever we go. and to hear other people are aware of the sacrifices he has made, we both have made, acknowledgements and the words "thank you" somewhere along the way after all the hardship, sacrifices and all the hard work made it all worth the ride. it truly is fulfilling. last monday's dinner was really something!
Anyway, i thought i might share a little something... for the last time.
A little something about LOVE
Love is something everybody has. love is a powerful, very powerful tool.
On a rather personal side, like most people, i've been hurt before. and i got hurt bad. really bad. i went through quite a bit during those years. i was being looked down in more than just one way by others. those who know me well knows what i've been through and what i had to put up with towards the end of it. but after all that dramas, i'm grateful it has brought me to hardy. love shouldnt be complicated. love is so simple. and we made it simple and sincere.
In relationships, i think the most important thing is we love each other for what we are and what we can be and achieve. not what we have on paper or what type of house we grew up in, backgrounds we have. we respect and love each others parents and family. its important to love what we're doing. what we do, love our jobs (let it be a housewife to the highest position in the corporate world you can ever think of!), do it for love and everything seems very much lighter! love the company that we're in, the people that we hang out with, love the company that you work for, love the people living, standing next to you, even if they're perfect strangers!
"Spread love everywhere you go. first of all in your own house. give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbour... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. be the living expression of God's kindness. kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in yor warm greeting." - Mother Theresa.
A little something about HOPE
There will be once or twice in our life when we might question or even doubt yourself. there was this one time, at one point of my life, i felt that everything was drifting away. but then i realized that if you lose hope, you somehow will lose that vitality that keeps life moving. you'll not just be losing hope, you will lose courage as well. hope is something you hang on to. i now believe that everything will be ok at the end. if its not ok, its not the end. and if you dont get it, well, you might get something better! and i remember reading this once somewhere- when the catterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
"The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. and the most you can do is live inside that hope. not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." Barbara Kingsolver.
A little something about STRENGTH
There will be one part of your life, where He would really test your level of patience, your level of maturity, your faith and everything else you have in you. there'll be rough patches, tough rides. God knows what we've been through and how we went through it to get here. for me and hardy, i must say it wasnt plain sailing all the way. but we've manged somehow to sail slowly and gently with great strength to overcome them. from getting a house here in a foreign land after just 4 months of living here, renovating the house to make it our home (and what happened inbetween that), our experience with certain dutch doctors during Aidan's delivery and during his first year... to our everyday problems let it be at work or with other people, friends and families. we've all been on some kind of a bumpy ride.
I suffered post natal depression after i delivered Aidan. and trust me, it was one hell of tough period for both hardy and i. but we somehow we managed to turn those wounds to wisdom.
Strength does not come from winning. your struggles develop your strenghts. when you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. nothing is so gentle as real strength." Frances de Sales
A little something about FAITH
Faith helps us approach life with a sense of possibility rather than foreboding or helplessness. it dares us to imagine what we might be capable of. it enables us to reach for what we dont yet know with a measre of courage. it gives us resilience in times of difficulty.
My own faith has taught me that whatever disappointments i might meet, i can try again and trust again and love again.
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. nothing can be done without hope and confidence" Helen Keller.
A little something about GRATITUDE
Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands. because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy. because we will always want to have something else or something more.
I thank every opportunity i get. i thank everything around me, even when life throw you lemons sometimes. i even thanked those lemons!!
I thank Him.
I am grateful for love, and i am grateful for my life. i'm so grateful for everything that has happened to me. if not for each and every one of them, i wouldnt be where i am now and what i am today.
I guess my point is, if you ever ever feel down in whatever sense, not loved, no hope, you just HAVE to love yourself, have faith in your abilities, efforts and talents, find the strength to pick yourself back up again and start walking and when you've finally made it, when you've started walking or even running, i hope you'll smile at all those events that has happened and be thankful that it happened.
It might be tough in the beginning, but trust me, it will get better.
There is absolutely no point of being angry (although for me sometimes it helped! but the faster you cool down the more rational you'll be and be grateful for it!), no point in asking "whys" again and again, no point in dwelling (five to ten mins of dwelling is enough! oh well... ok, maybe ten!), no point of being jealous of someone who has more, no point of having ill feelings no matter what that other person did to us. simply no point at all!
Just be thankful you're still breathing!
"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."John F Kennedy
They say every good things must come to an end. well, this is one of them. through my blogs and what i write, i have gotten to know loads and loads of people, have tremendous support and encouragement. i've made friends from all over, have met and known some trully remarkable women and those friendships will last forever, i'm certain of that.
No, i havent run out of steam. i'm just going to move to something (and perhaps somewhere) better. i wont stop writing, that's for sure.
This is a start. a beginning to many many new and exciting things. i've thought long and hard. this is the end to me blogging, but it is the beginning to a new book with new stories and adventures. i know i've promised you to write my takes on our travels. i will write on them, perhaps not just in here. i trully am sorry if you have waited. i will work on it, in fact. i am so looking forward to it. looking forward to write my very own book.
I wish you all the good things in life. thank you for everything. for your time, your kind words, your friendship, your comments. you have made me smile, cry, laugh and you have made me a better person, i thank you.
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. happiness is the spirital experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
As always, all the very best wishes, and all the love and happiness to you, my fellow virtual friends...