Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Ramadhan

Ramadhan is one special month for me. I have had wonderful months of fasting for the past years. my business always kicked in during the months of Ramadhan, Aidan was born slightly before the month of Ramadhan, we moved into our new house in the month of Ramadhan, i've met wonderful new friends during the months of Ramadhan (Juan of Sapura & k.Liza of Lubis to name a few).

Here's something i thought i'd share during this fasting month. its quite a personal one.


I moved to KL wanting to start a new life some 5 years ago. had a shop with a business partner but after the first year, it went downhill. i then went on my own. a few offers came in wanting me to join their companies but i decided to go on my own. it was very slow but i didnt give up. lucky for me, my business doesnt involve loans from banks and other institutions, but myself, and of course with the support of my parents. it then got to a stage where we were running dry.

One day just slightly before Ramadhan, i called my parents up for financial help. told them i wanted to make Hari Raya Hampers (back then it was at its peak). but there was something in mum's voice, and i knew something was wrong. they had sold off our second car and
then i just knew that i couldnt ask for more from them. at that time both of them worked extra hard in finding extra money, dad helps a friend in a business venture and mum sells her necklaces and her oter crafts. but i could sense things are not looking so bright.

At that time, i felt like i'm the most useless daughter int the world.

Car-less, and pockets all drained, i had to walk to get to where i
wanted to go. by then it was 1st and 2nd days of Ramadhan. cracked my head as to how i should do this without having to put any money up front. scouted for other people doing the same thing. i worked so hard till i almost forgot that i was fasting. i could still remember the first days of Puasa where i had to walk in the rain to get food, and i was all alone. i was sure most people by that time were already in front of their dining tables full of food and colourful drinks, waiting for the azan to break their fasts. i had to walk during azan. and it was a good 25 mins walk and coming back from the stalls, a car drove by and hit a big puddle and i got really drenched! got back to the apartment and i cried and cried. one thing about me is i simply hate to ask for favors from anybody. yes, i'd rather get drenched!

I then prayed like i've never prayed before. asking God if He could
help me help my parents. i prayed, and i prayed hard. i can still remember that day when i cried to Him for help. i knew what i wanted to do, i trust myself and i believe in myself so much and have every faith that what i intended to do will succeed.

After a lot of convincing, moneytory help came in and so i could then extend the business more (to which i am grateful for). i worked my pants off during that whole month. other offers started to pour in during the same month. and i was travelling KL-JB back and forth like crazy (i've made friends with all the bus drivers!). i just couldnt cope (which was good!) and by that time, i wished i had more than 10 hands, i wished there were more than 24 hours a day and energy that could last me for life without having to sleep!


Relationships matured and one soured (for some reasons till today it puzzles me) during that month of Ramadhan. but i stayed very focused and brush the negativities aside. i knew what i was doing, and i stayed true to my words and beliefs. my relationship with my parents really matured during this time, we had fun helping each other out and it was simply a blast. i could have never have done it without them plus 2 most dearest, most beautiful friends one could ever have, Lenny and Yoyo.

That whole year was full of exciting ventures. the next Ramadhan we went full swing! Rezeki started to pour even more.

I'd never thought i'd make it this far. to which i'm very proud of. i'd
never thought that other people had faith and trust in me. a bonus to see them smile whenever they see the stuff i made. everything was dipermudahkan. my prayers were answered.

the last batch before saying goodbye

2 years later, i met Hardy. got married and moved out of Malaysia, for good! it is a shame to leave everything behind just as things are picking up and bigger plans were made. but it was all for the better. definitely!

I miss those days. i miss being extremely busy! those difficult days meant a lot to me. i'm proud of what i did, how i did it. it all started with one wish. one niat - which was to help mum and dad.

Ramadhan is the best month, it pulls you so so much closer to God. it made me stronger, much much stronger. One thing that struck me was, Alhamdulillah, even without a car, even when there's no more shop, even when i'm without a soulmate, minus all the digits in our bank accounts, we worked hard and we were very happy.

Syukur, with just the basics, minus the pasar ramadhans (though i miss it), we're still able to fast till today, and most importantly, we're all fine now.

I am now helping a couple of people who i feel are in the same boat as i was back then. i'm helping them from here, afar. i've helped them before but how i wish i'm actually there so that i could help more... its difficult, yes, but i'm gonna give it my best shot!

Ramadhan al Mubarak to all muslims, my friends.

19 comments:

nana zaharey said...

Hi Kak Zaza.. Selamat Berpuasa to u and ur family... Sayu jek baca entry kak zaza yg nie..dah lah bulan puasa diperantauan nie.. hehe.. but I guess everyone have their own problem and hurdle and without it we won't be like who we are now. That's what make us even stronger. BTW, really like ur works, very nice. I envy U.. :-)

Laracroft74 said...

I felt so touched to read about the difficult path you had gone thru in the past.. you are such a strong girl zaza... I guess all those difficulties are part of the 'test' from Him... but I'm so glad to see you doing so well now and live happily with your loved ones... I'm sure god has granted the wish for such a nice person with a good heart like you... Salam Ramadhan and hope we will all be blessed by Him..

mama shmontel said...

[this entry is good :)]
a strong lady u r, dear!
selamat menghayati ramadhan to you too

nina said...

Selamat menyambut ramadhan to u too.. menitis air mata baca story zaza... i am really proud of what u hv achived in the pass... for what u hv gone through, insyaalah u will be fine no matter where u r, what u do... aminnnnnnnnn....

shud said...

salam k zaza...
selamat berpuasa ramadhan di perantauan..hope u n ur family sihat2 belaka kat sana..do take care..

Anonymous said...

Hi za,
Reading ur posting this time, really made me feel closer to you. There are things in life which we can't control. When we go through a rough patch, most people don't care. This is when you know which friends are for keeps and the true colors of other people. I'm happy that you made it kiddo and it has made you into a stronger person. Hopefully we'll be able to go thru this test from the Almighty just as you did and look back at it as one of our life experiences. Pray for us k?
Loves, Kak Shasha

mak chu alief yg lapar said...

i know how u feel..its like the skies is tumbling down on u without any mercy..but ur strong enough 2 go thru all the obstacles and ujian ALLAh and just look at u now..u shud b proud of urself..i ingt kedai u yg cantek,comel,cozy itew kat Holiday Villa kan??mane taw nnti u leh wat branch baru kat Holland..amin..nyway, happy pose 2 u,abg hardy,k.shida n abg alam, kak fi n abg reza n d bambinos.. ur parents raye sane ek??

mak chu alief yg blur said...

typo error org berpose:
skies are..bkn is..
harap maklum..

anzed said...

gosh hun..u have been thro soo much. m so glad for u that it is over. Alhamdullillah, u r in a much better place now in life. your talent never ceases to amaze me. well done! take care.

nga-ngah said...

hai zaza..
ni nga-ngah laa...ingat lagi tak? nga-ngah baru jenguk blog ni.ni jamy yang bukakkan..hehe..best tengok blog ni.anak zaza comel betul.boleh nga-ngah datang sana tak?

selamat berpuasa.bye...
email baru nga-ngah..(jgn marah..dah ada email tau!hehe..)
kg_pelangi@hotmail.com

ツSofiyaツ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mak chu qyra yg ngantok said...

cayala..nga-ngah pon da de email da pandai blog hopping...classic 2 email add nga ngah..so kak za..camne u nak stop blogging??mak cik sedara, tok sedara, nyang sedara sume suke bace ur blog...so keep writing..

JuJu Eyedaa said...

Hye Zaza,.. Reading yr post about Ramadhan took me back to those days masa single, duduk rumah bujang. Yeah, I've been there.

Naik bus turun bus, Zaman lrt belum ada in KL. Rain was my worst enemy... Bukan pasal basah kena hujan tapi cars and lorries passed by will wet me with the puddle of water by d road side. I remember there was one time, there's a small bazaar ramadhan nearby my house. I selalu sampai sana 2-3 min lps azan, Kadang2 dpt free food. Maybe makcik tu kesian. Mana taknya jauh nk jalan from the bus stop. Dari Zoo Negara sampai rumah took 20minutes. Hari2 kerja x pernah balik nampak matahari.. Tu pun nasib baik bazaar tu belakang rumah je.

Sahur pun sorang2 je bangun. My other housemates semua jenis x bangun sahur. Syahdu jer teringat parents and adik2 kt JB.

Sigh.. those were the days... but its ok... those experience really toughen u...
Well, I hope u have a great Ramadhan there in Holland. It's been nice reading your blog.

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

its past midnight and i've just finish 3 cards! thanks for all your sweet thoughtful comments. will reply to them individually soon k?

nga ngah! what a surprise!!!

good night... we're going to wake up at 4am for sahur!!

Wiz said...

Z, look at where you are now. The hard work paid off.

Anonymous said...

Hey..

Selamat berposa..sure sedih kan posa kat tempat org...n seronok pon ada jugak!.i pon tiap kali buka teringat all the colorfull drinks!!abis tinggi i dapat buat sirap,sirap bandung or cincau hihihi...

love,
amy

Anonymous said...

that's a very touching story. you went through alot of phases, some of which few of us never been in before. i guess all those experiences makes you a fighter, a believer, a loyal friend and most importantly, a kind and loving person. i am definately sure you will have plenty of love and success in everything you do and everywhere you go. selamat berpuasa and selamat hari raya aidilfitri. maaf zahir dan batin, plenty i have made. take care za.

toughcookie said...

it was a pleasure getting to know you. you are one of the sweetest person i've ever known and you've worked hard to earn what you're enjoying. i remembered what a good job you did and rezeki comes to those who work kan...

i remembered when you first called me after reading my email to you. i thought, what a friendly, cheerful personality you have...

i miss you...

kaymalik said...

Salam Zaza n family.

Zaza, you are one strong woman!! You inspire me always..I went through the same thing too 6 years ago..and I know how it feels..I lost my dad in Ramadhan, I lost my job in ramadhan and my x husband left me in ramadhan too..And, actually that is a hint from God saying, REMEMBER ME..I AM YOUR GOD. With HIS blessing, friends and families prayers and tonnes of patience, now I am back on my feet again.

I wish I could see and hug you now. Whenever I feel miserable, by just reading your blog, it calms me down.

Selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa dan selamat hari raya to u and family.

Thanks, Zaza.