Monday, 28 July 2008

I'm Staying...

Thank you all for the birthday wishes for my nephew Ferran. we had a brilliant time all of us together. a couple of weeks went by so incredibly fast, especially when we were enjoying ourselves. after thousands of miles travelled, they went back to the UK with their car packed full of toys, wet-wipes (they're much much cheaper here), loads of new clothes and almost 3 thousand shots of photos taken from 3 cameras!

What a holiday!

I must apologize for not updating on our stories and journeys. i feel the need to say this. i've been thinking and thinking very hard lately.. what is my main reason for blogging. Hardy and i first started blogging since we were dating, we then moved on, and moved away and got married and now have a new life with our son Aidan here, away from Malaysia. at first, we blog to share our stories and experiences with our closest and dearest families and friends. little did we know that we'll be making friends all around the globe! i'm extremely grateful to have made new ones, definitely! some, without them knowing, are very dear to me. i'm fortunate enough not to be bombarded with nasty comments, i suppose there are quite a bunch of nice people in here. but on the other hand, by writing and making our blog 'public', anyone can find us in here and read our thoughts and stories.

I am aware by putting every word i type on the net makes people know even more of our life here. i am extremely careful with what i chose to write and how i write. i dont really write on intimate and those personal stuff and most of our writings are mainly on our son, how we're handling him, our travelling bits and how we're coping living here in the Netherlands. but whenever we write, it comes straight from the heart.

Hardy and i had a good talk over retiring from blogging. i came this close (i wish you could see how close my thumb and my pointer finger are!) to deleting our entire blog last week. we had our reasons.

But after listening to a few wise opinions, after they've made me see the other side of things, i then decided to hung on. and as Hardy puts it - "we dont have control over actions by others and what they think. but we can decide for ourselves."

I enjoy writing (despite the wrong spellings, grammar etc), i enjoy my time infront of the computer to share our stories (it's like having a 'me' time), i enjoy reading the comments made by others (those who leaves a word or two normally makes my day!). i enjoy making new friends in here. i write for a reason, i share for a reason. so there..

There's always a reason for everything. i am staying true to myself and true to what i share and write. my feet are firmly on the ground and i am grateful and thankful that some might find our writings a pleasure to read.

As of now, i'm staying.


zuraida said...

zaza, keeps on writing.
nanti k.zu rindu lak kat blog ni.

Miss you!

mommy@lif said...

oh pls dont stop blogging girl! although i may not be leaving any mark everytime i come but i love reading your blog! and i love love your creativity (the other blog).

thank you for staying :)

comey_lote said...

don't stop blogging zaza!!please don't!I enjoy reading it...can't agree more with u abt the contents of the blog, I'm always carefull with what I write too, that's why I never put my photos in my blog.

Ms eNVy said...

I was in the same dilemma dear :) I have comments tht were really not very nice I'd say .. but tht's why I do the comment moderation thing :) Anyways I'm so glad tht you are staying .. or else I'll be missing reading ur posts (and I do love reading them but rarely leave any comments ;) ) .. and most of all I will miss watching ur adorable Aidan grow :)

IbuHaziq said...

glad u've decided to stay for reading ur family stories...hope to read more.. :)

I am Ann said...

hi zaza, i would be very sad if you decide to retire from blogging. i've even considered doing the same but then i looked at my archives and realised they're like keepsakes that remind me of the past. sayangnya nak delete! if you like, you can choose to restrict your blog to only certain readers just to keep those nasty pests away. rgds, ann

mrika said...

yes, please, DO stay. keep them blog entries coming. yours (blog) is an interesting always. i don't check it everyday, but often enough to entail it a spot in my Favourite Blogs list. :-)

i get you on the choosing words wisely part on blogging. i sometimes stop a bit while typing just to see if i should carry on with any one post or delete/edit it a lil just to stay within 'safe political' grounds. even if only in the blogging land of things. then agin, judging by the lack of comments left on my blog, not much of a concern then for offending readers ... not many readers pun to begin with! haha.

but that's me. this is about you. yes, do stay, do continue blogging. you know you've a loyal reader in me. :-)

Anonymous said...

i'm yr silent reader. when i am stressed i like to come over to yr blog and look at the beautiful things that you have created. so i am glad that u r staying.


Neny said...

Hi, I'm a frequent reader to ur blog. Sori, i never introduce myself and even put the link of ur blog in my blog. X salah kan?

But why u want to stop blogging? Ada org marah ke? Unless ur hb x bg la, but ur hb seems to be very supportive in ur blogging activities.

Don't stop blogging, please. I enjoy reading ur stories. I like ur language style and I think one day u can even write a novel. Bagus gitu kan?

Milkberry said...

Hello Zaza! I don't know what happened, but I'm sure any decision you make it the best! I'm glad you stayed though. I enjoy reading your blog. Also makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world. Hehehe. You know what I mean.

elly said...

hurray u r staying! oh yeah, hi to u. i am a silent reader of ur lovely blog for quite some time...and loving it. aidan is so cute. and u down to earth! keep on writing. cheers!


mama shmontel said...

so glad you're staying! :D

Ummi said...

keep on writing dear!

kay said...

I am so glad to hear that you are keeping this blog. I have been following your writing since you started blogging in Friendster.I don't know you that well and like wise but i do enjoy your writting and your family values. I am so sure Aidan will grow up to be one fine gentleman someday.

Keep 'em going, mama!!

Linad said...

what happen zaza?
i think i understand your situation.
That's one of the reasons y k.linad put a full stop to my FP. So I locked my FP and
migrate to FB which I
can control my viewers, frens etc.

k.ct said...

i read ur blog nearly everyday dah macam baca paper early morning. klu da x ada blog ni, macam orang yang mandi x guna sabun..x complete!hahaha...

just a sincere comment from me.
take care!

Brenda said...

I can appreciate your concerns over blogging. I debate this each week! Glad to hear that you're hanging in there ... at least for the time being, however!

Cyber Lady said...

Just hope you would continue blogging. Love your holiday photos, your handicrafts and cookings and of coz love everything about Aidan. You are one talented, gifted and humble lady. The blog you wrote can be felt that it is written from the heart. Full of warmth and happiness. Came across your blog few years back while blog hopping and since then it has been a weekly routine. Just enjoy reading it. It puts on a smile on my face every time I read your blog..I am just one of your silent reader from far..far..away in Singapore.

Kak Azi said...

Zaza, what happened?

Kak azi suka singgah ke blog zaza. Even kak azi pun tidak kenal sgt pada zaza. I remember you because zaza adik kepada fifi. I still remember budak kecil yg cubby2. When looking at really photocopy of you zaman sekolah2. So cute.

Love to read your blog. You're very lucky person zaza.. you have everything and you have very happy family.

So terus lah menulis yea..

FromMiami said...

Hi Zaza..I am glad you are...I stubled upon your blog and enjoy it alot just so you know

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

i am extremely shocked and very much flattered by all the comments made by you guys. deeply touched as well. gosh, i dont know what to say except for thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

it's almost 1 am and i've just got out of Aidan's room and kissed him good night for the last time before i call it a day. i will reply to your individual comments tomorrow when i'm very much awake!

love, sincerely

Anonymous said...

hi zaza,
i've been a silent reader of your blog and i can say that i truly luv ur writings n stories.. i love to read bout ur cute little aidan and ur travelling bits.

keep on writing ya!


Nik said...

Hi Zaza, I'm also one of your silent readers. I love to read your beutiful writing. Everyday I must visit yr blog to see Aidan's cute pics. And pls also don't restrict yr blog to only certain readers.
Eventho' I donno you, but by reading your blog, I feel that as if I know you, and very close to you & your family. Love, Nik-Subang Jaya

toughcookie said...

dearest zaza,
i am glad you made the right decision. what others think and say about what you write is nothing of your problem. if they're not happy, it's their problem and it's them who have unresolved issues with their inner-selves.

kita tulis sincere from the heart ke or we tulis to menunjuk ke, semuanya orang yang 'sakit' akan tetap cari kesalahan. to me, what we write is something like a diary of what we went thru and something so valuable for our own future reference. bila baca balik, we will be reminded of how we felt about a certain issue in the past and how much we've grown.

i especially love reading your blog cos terubat rindu talking to you.

keep on writing, luv.

shud said...

salam kak zaza..
well i have been reading ur blog since ...i cant even remember when i start to read it..but i had ur address inside my favorite..
even i'm just a reader not a writer..but i can say that some bloggers do get nasty remarks from the reader..i hope that u r not considering this fact to retire frm blogging..
i just soo luvv to read ur entry n even suggested to my sis..ur stories of aidan ..craft n cooking are so inspiring n well written kak zaza
even i have never post a comment before but i was called to put one when i read this..ur family travelogue seems to be an inspiration for me to visit of all the places u went..plsss plsss dont retire just yet!
i hope to read more n more of ur stories..since ur last entry on ferran birthday i keep coming in n see whther u have posted a new one..but a bit dissapointed
plss stay yaa kak zaza

Anonymous said...

Dear Zaza,

Love ur blog, keep on writing.....


emly2175 said...

glad u decided to stay dear! is true blogging is actually about opeening & letting other strangers into our life. But we have the power to decide what to write, tell & share. I'm like u also when it comes to this blog things. I still keep a certain privacy boundary of my life& family. We can't afford to share all our skeletons -in-the-closet with others. Thus, always be alert& aware when writing our blog's entry dear..

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

k.zue: i've been wanting to write to thank you for the lovely presents you sent us. kalau k.zue nampak, gambar aidan ngan mak ngan ayah tu pakai baju yang k.zue kasi. thank you ever so much! something will be on its way soon, i just have to get some good stuff for you first!
i will keep writing, for now at least! miss you too k.zue! sangatlah banyaknya!!!

mommy@lif: my dear, you dont have to leave any words everytime you pop by, it's absolutely ok. by you visiting us is more than enough. you make me want to write and craft more now! thank you from the bottom of my heart!

comey_lote: i noticed you dont put any of your photos too! i hardly put any of mine as well, and hardy's.
thanks ever so much for 'visiting' us in here, we'll have to make it a point to meet in real life soon!

Ms eNVy: but we've got facebook!! even if i stop blogging, we'll still be in touch, that's for sure! thanks to facebook kan?
i dont see the point of other people upsetting others. life is simply too short kan? i'm lucky almost all comments are nice and positive ones. the only thing was people in our past kept on haunting us you see...
(p.s: i love seeing photos of you girls! keep on dancing girls!) ;)

ibuhaziq: thank you ever so much my dear. will try to keep up for now! haziq's growing really well!! enjoy him.. enjoy each other! ;)

Ann: you are my first blogger friend i met. you're one of my dearest, without you knowing. you are so right - the writings and photos are like keepsakes, memang sayang nak delete! i thought of restricting the blog but when i think of it kan, through this blog lah i get to meet others, through this blog lah i get to know people. through this blog lah i get to share my stories... kalau restrict, i wont be able to make new friends. i dont get nasty comments, nasib baik! i just would like to stay away from the past...
(p.s: i still owe you lah ann, terok betul i ni!)
lots of love, always!

mrika: you my dear, are so very creative with your colours. the combination's just perfect! sorry, i just had to say that first! :)
thank you so much for 'visiting' us. no comments doesnt mean people dont read your blog! sometimes it's better off without any comments jugak, then you feel free to write whatever you think. i agree with you that its best to stay within safe grounds, but sometimes i just feel like letting go some steam! but then i question myself, why would i want to blog about something way too personal and let others be affected by it. depends how one uses their space i suppose...
you my dear, please do continue to write and craft. i shall now add you to my blogroll pulak! ;)

atenah: thank you atenah. thanks for visiting. you make me want to craft more now! i'm glad you liked them.. and yes, i will stay (for now at least!), so come back soon k!

Neny: memang sangat tak salah if you dont comment/introduce/put a link. it's absolutely fine and it is your right to do whatever you wish! i dont mind at all neny... i'm thankful that i get to know yet another person through the blogworld!
nothing happened actually. tak ada orang marah pon. hardy encourages me with everything. its just that by putting our blog on 'public' i am allowing more and more people into our lives. whether their intentions are good, we dont know. i wanted to avoid certain people, thats all. but then i realized, i'm not going to let a couple of people ruin what i have. blogging is a powerful tool. and by blogging i get to know lots of wonderful people!
if only you know of my life stories neny, memang boleh buat novel! drama pon boleh!!! ;)

My favourite berry: nothing happened dear. its just that i'm beginning to feel like maybe i'm publishing too much of our stories. and by making our blog 'public' more and more people are aware of doings. and to be honest, there's a few i'd rather avoid, but hey, you cant have it all kan?

elly: hurray! i get to know another friendly person through blogger! this is why i decided to stay on. there are wonderful people in here, and it's certainly nice to get to know new ones! thanks for 'visiting' us elly!

mama shmontel: i quite like that fish that you have on your blog! hehe.. and not to mention that bike seat! we have one for aidan but that one you have on your blog's a really canggih one! almost everyone has a bike here in holland but i've never seen it here before!

ummi: if not for blogging, i wouldnt have had the opportunity to be friends with you, so yes, i will keep on writing! you do the same too k!

kay: i've known you since friendster days kay. almost nak jumpa on my wedding kan? i suppose tak ada rezeki. thanks ever so much for 'visiting' us here. you keep me going, i feel like writing more now thanks to you! hope we'll meet one day! (aidan sekarang dah diri atas kerusi, dah pandai jerit ngan dah pandai merajuk... i am constantly worrying as to what i should do when he reacts that way, far from being a gentleman kan? haha...)

k.linad: nothing actually. just nak avoid a few people, and continue with our lives, that's all. thanks to FB you can say goodbye to FP eh! memang betul, we can control who views and who we approve on FB! see you in FB! hehe...

k.ct: kelakarnya k.ct nih! ya allahai!!! thank you ever so much!!

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

brenda: Brenda dear, i can understand now why people limit their blogs to only authorized readers. but by doing so, i'd be limiting myself, i wont be able to make new friends, just like what i'm doing now! ;) i must say there are a few that i'd rather avoid, simply because we want to move on in life. but who says i cant do it even if i continue blogging!
thank you ever so much for dropping by! you've made my day!

cyber lady: masyallahh.. people like you really make me smile. the things that you say really made my day! i feel like i should write more now, so that i wont dissapoint you.
you know what, if i were to be back home, singapore wouldnt be that far far away! if you stand at woodlands, and i stand at the causeway, we could probably see each other! hehe.. or maybe i stand at stulang and you stand at sembawang, we could even waive at each other! ;)

k.azi: nothing actually happened. just wanted to avoid some readers. but i dont have the power to control each person's action, the best is control mine... but i've made up my mind, i'm staying!
sorry k.azi, za pon tak ingat k.azi. and most people know me by "adik fifi". which i dont mind at all, of course! ;)
and yes, i was just like aidan when i was small.. chubby!!!! hehe...

From Miami: you've just made my day! i had no idea this would reach miami. how is it there? is it sunny?
thank you ever so much for 'visiting' us here. i shall try to keep up now.
(p.s: i wish i was in miami....)

mummyof2: it is absolutely nice to get to know another person through blogging. this is the reason why i dont restrict the blogs to only selected few. i will write, and i hope you'll 'visit' us again soon! thanks again.. hope you're doing well and enjoying your 2 kids! (how old are they?)

Nik: my dearest nik, thank you for 'visiting' us here in our blog. to be honest, i wanted to make both blogs to 'private' but then it would mean that i'd have to stop making new friends and it will be such a shame to do so. reading what you wrote makes me smile from ear to ear. thank you nik. thanks for taking time to read about us.
(nik: kat subang ada restaurant nama sheesh mahal kat depan sjmc... sedap!!) ;)

the proud mum of jada kayla: what a beautiful name. and what a beautiful baby she is. i'm glad it went all well for you. we're so so proud of you. you did it! the natural way pulak tu!!! i am so pleased and happy for both you and acat, i saw the pictures tadi on FB!
you know what, sometimes i wish i am as strong as you j. you have such guts and the manner that you write makes us all go "awww"... i remembered once, you wrote on doing the same too.. and you've gone through some rough patches as well. we all come with a past. some we dont wish to remember at all... there are just a few that i'd rather avoid... but who cares kan! we've moved on...
you're absolutely spot on on all! you always make sense j! always. i love it when you say it's for our own future fererences. it is so bloody true. i just read on my post on that moment i had with aidan, and it was simply pure bliss!
thanks j. thanks so much. you're one dear person to me.
all my love to baby jk and acat. hugs and kisses to both mummy and daddy and abang and adik...

shud: my dearest shud. let me be honest with you.... sometimes, you can roughly know a person just by the way they write. you can sense their warmth and their honesty. i felt incredibly touched by your comment. thank you ever so much shud. you're way too kind with your words..
i must admit by putting our blogs on 'public' we're open to all sorts of things, but nothing can beat the feeling of happiness in making new friends in here! we're fortunate enough not to be bombarded with nasty comments, but sometimes i do think maybe i'm publishing too much of our lives. there are a few that i'd rather avoid, but i cant control their actions you see... somehow that frustrates me (how silly!) but what i can do and have control is my own actions.

i've decided to stay and i hope you'll get to visit all the places we've been to one day (which i'm sure you will!) maybe you'll ended up visiting more, who knows! ;)

(p.s: do consider writing shud!)

k.camy: alahaiiii..... timakasih k.camy!!! how's everyone doing? add more pictures to FB for us k? and can you please tell najah that i miss her!!

emly 2175: so far i dont think i've exceeded that boudary i've set. its just that i'd rather avoid certain people reading it, but i dont have the power to do so! i can easily restrict the blog to only authorized people but that would mean that i wont be making new friends anymore.. and it will be such a shame to do so! and it will be a shame and a waste to just let one or two people control our lives... kan kan? ;)

makcik ryan yg cumel! said...

kak za...
don't u dare stop blogging heh..nnti we all sume mish u guys especially aidan la..tis is the best way 4 e'one in mesia 2 get upclose n personal wit u aidan n abg u guys..XOXO
p/s:i knw we can still keep in touch in FB tapi dlm blog ni mcm u ala2 becerite kat we all sume..because etime i bace blog u, i bayang kan u cite ngn muke2, ngn tangan2 n ngn tone u yg lemah lembut itew...muehehehehe...

VioletSky said...

I have missed your writing of late. And I enjoy looking at your craft work, it always looks so happy! I know from some of your writing that it is difficult for you when you are on your own, but I suspect you are a fun person to be around. Your enthusiasm is infectious even through your writings.

Anonymous said...

hi zaza,

I'm happy that you will stay and continue blogging.. eventhough we dont know each other, i must say that i really enjoyed reading your posts till recently I decided to have my own blog....Whenever i feel bored or tired of doing the office works, i'll go and check your blog... as i said it's like reading the morning newspaper ...
so c'mon zaza..keep writing and sharing with all your readers!!!

* adda *

Anonymous said...

hi za, -- you don't have to publish this...

why, what happened, that made you came to that decision? your stories have touched us and as for me, a source of inspirations too through your creative stuffs and yummilicious food. we loved your stories. you do know you have a flair in writing, boleh compile to a mini book tau. so hang in there whatever it is. and as for me, for whatever has happened in our lives, this is the only source of me keeping in touch with you..and to watch you from afar, knowing your lives are good and that you are loved and in love very much deeply, crazily. and you should know that there are people (like me) who hunger for a friendship with you.


Anonymous said...

Goodness, I couldnt get into blogger/blogspot websites for many days and when I did, I read this. Shocker. I'm so glad you're staying! TWxx

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

nana, sanna, adda, yaya and mrs wharfer aka mummy to be.. will reply to your individual comments tomorrow k.. i'm gonna hit the sack cause it's almost midnight and it's pouring outside!! gosh, what a treat to sleep with the sound of the rain falling down, with a cool gentle breeze! good night guys, lots of love!

Anonymous said...

Hi Zaza,

I may not leave any comment, but, I'm always here!!
Whatever decision you may take is entire yours to make.... but, I will miss it nevertheless.
Glad to know, you've decided against it, if not, I will have one less blog to intai......

Cheers, Muna

zuraida said...

zaza... tak payah susah2. just keep on writing. kalau tak nanti k.zu rindu plak, tiap2 hari buka blog zaza tp tak da citer baru. :(

Anonymous said...

Hi za,
Sorry 4 being the saki baki org yg tinggalkan comment! Tak sempat dik. I'm so glad that you've decided otherwise. Even though if u stop blogging we still keep in touch but it absolutely won't be the same. When we read your blog we feel so close to you. As if you're right here telling us about your wonderful life in a foreign land & make us proud of how brave n lucky you are to experience it. Think of all the great friends you got to know n how their kindest most heart warming comments bring a smile to you and lift your spirits up when you're down..... For those people who don't know how to appreciate nice people like you, hardy n aidan, then good riddance to them!They should get a life n get help coz it surely shows they are having issues with themselves and envious of how happy other people are. Take care babe.
Loves, Kak Shasha

Wiz said...

Gosh, Z, I am the last one to know about you resigning from blogging. Ever since I changed my template, all the links have been lost. It gets difficult to visit some of my blog friends such as you.

It's comforting to know you have decided to continue writing and as you can see you have got yourself a big fan base out there, all cheering you on. I would probably the one who would initiate the mexican wave in that big fan crowd, he he he.

It's good to know how you have touched others, and if that is not a reason to stay, then I shall fly up there and make house on that white bench of yours, not budging.

FromMiami said...

Zaza,believe it or not your blog is being read here in Miami.It's nice to stumble upon a blog and read a writer whose ever so humble bout her life and family,I have really enjoyed myself since day one just so you know.

It is rather humid here but we are also having storms since we are in the midst of hurricane season,nothing bad though.

Hope all is well with you and your little pumpkin family.

Thank you for replying individually to the comments despite having your parents there and being busy.You are a super mom!

Anonymous said...

just got back from m'sia on monday and started reading your blog again today. didn't know that you were thinking of closing down your blog! am relieved and glad you're abandoning that idea now b'cos i will really really miss reading it and looking at your photos if your blog is gone! as long as blogging makes you happy, you should keep doing it! reading your blog brings me a step closer to home - true m'sian hospitality!

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

guys, thanks so much for the comments, will reply individually soon k.. promise! in the meantime, have a wonderful monday! love to you lot..


Mum said...

pls don't stop blogging.i love ur beautiful family!!!

Anonymous said...

You said you wanted to avoid some people. How about using IP blocker? I haven't tried it, so I don't know if it works.

I was reading a blog here about blocking an ip. The software is called Toolator and you have to register. 2 versions, free and another to pay. You can read more here,

Good Luck ZaZa in your quest. You are too kind and too nice to be hurt. Just protect your heart against wolves in sheeps clothing. Take good care of yourself okay.