That One Moment

It was honestly oh-so-beautiful. I love Barcelona more because of its beach! the life they have there is so laid back, just like Holland, but more with a beach! the locals here in the Netherlands love to cycle, i noticed the locals there love to run. they do cycle as well, and the bicycle lanes are organized, but slightly less than here, i musy say ;) holland is defintiely a fiets paradise!


Stephan, Hardy, Aidan and i walked from the centre to the beach. took us about a good 20 mins walk. the view was just breathtaking, and the fine warm sand, the cool water and not to mention the sound of the waves makes us just want to plant our feet in them and just be taken away by the beauty of it all. the beach was surprisingly clean, it's almost unbelievable!

And as Hardy and Stephan decided to stroll along the beach to find some good restaurants for dinner, Aidan and i headed straight to the water!

Aidan had his first taste of the beach in Barcelona.

And as i was sitting on the sand, watching him enjoying himself and, i looked to other happy faces on the beach, and i felt blessed. looking at the coastlines and the movements of everything else on the beach, i suddenly felt too overwhelmed. how is it possible for me, an ordinary girl to be here, at this part of the world to witness all these! its amazing!

My mind then went back to those days, where i went through too much at one particular time, having lost all hope and faith in love, having had little money when business was tough... to name a few. as i sat there looking at my son, i then kept saying ya allah, syukur probably a hundred of times everytime i think of those difficult times.

Most of us go through some kind of hardship, difficult patches along the journey of life, some are more complicated than others, some are life changing, some with a permanant disability, some just dramatic drastic changes, while some are fortunate enough, born with a silver spoon, born brainy and beautiful, born having everything sugar coated and probably own a line of posh cars. but i am so glad that all those "cuts, burises, hurtful, difficult challenging times" happed to me. i wouldnt appreciate life like how i appreciate life now, if i was born with a silver spoon. honestly, i strongly believe all the hard knocks happened for a reason. you might not be able to see it now, but eventually you will.

The best thing when you come out of the dark hole is when you can say, "hey, i did it!" sometimes i still cant believe that i'm here, with 2 amazing, wonderful boys to which i am married to one, and the other one is a result of being married! and the best thing is, to be absolute honest with each other. what i normally do when the past keeps on creeping is i tend to just brush it off, and sometimes laugh it off. i'm glad it all happened, pleased and very proud on how i handled things and thankful that all worked for the best for me.

I trully believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God is fair, He knows and hears everything. only He knows whats best. you really cant help it but tho think of all these when you're staring at the beautiful big blue ocean, with blue skies on the background... how small we are..

I think God sent us here, this part of the world, for a reason. syukur alhamdulillah. everytime when i'm in a different place, everytime when i witness different things, everytime when i look up to buildings and monuments in a different country i feel so grateful. it is just beyond words. and like what most of you said, i am absolutely lucky indeed. i do realise and acknowledge it. rezeki. i just wish i could share this, in real life with all of you, but i cant. so the closest i get is by blogging, sharing it here, through pictures and stories.

Aidan then sat on me and we played with the sand. and i thought to myself, i've never felt so content. i whispered to him- we're so lucky Dan. so so lucky. we sat on the beach for almost an hour before Hardy came to get us for dinner, just me and my son.

I am positive somewhere along the way, Aidan will face some hardships, knocks. bumps and will probably fall. there will be cuts and scars but its how you get yourself back up again, and learn how to walk, recover from all the bitterness and move on with your life that counts. i will be there for my son, just like how my parents were there for me. i hope he has good friends, just like what i had, i will be a good friend to him, just like my good friends were to me.... come to think of it, it's kindda scarry eh... but i've got Hardy by my side to put me into perspectives (on occations when i'm not!).

I've come quite a long way, and each of us have our stories. but i'd say the best bit for me was how i managed to get myself back up again. (to those of you who knows what i've been through, you know what i'm talking about!).

Life is a journey, not a destination. it is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. and happiness is not a state to arrive at, but rather a manner of travelling.

I had that one special moment with my son on the beach. it will always, always be in my heart.

I'm glad we've travelled the distance. we shall continue to travel! i just pray, no matter where we are, we'll always be this thankful, grateful and happy.

Z