Monday, 17 September 2007

Aidan Goes To School

Hardy and i both had decided to send Aidan to a playschool as soon as he turns 1. we have set our minds to one particular playschool, about 10 mins drive from our home. we told the school of our intention and plans and then we were told that they'd put us on the waiting list with a slight possibility that there might be one or two spots by the end of the year (yes, you have to book your preschools, playschools as early as possible. waiting list might be up to a year!). two weeks ago, they told us that they have one spot for Aidan and we were invited to view the school.

We were both thrilled! happy that Aidan can now mix with other kids who doesnt speak 'rojak' like his parents, thrilled that Aidan can now at least interact with them, learn a few dutch, have some friends.

That night, after we were told that they have a spot for him at the school, it then sank in me. it hit me that my son's going to be cared by others. my son's going to be somewhere else without me, my son's going to school! during dinner, i then told Hardy,"maybe we should wait till he turns 2. i'm enjoying him now more than ever" my voice started to crack, and if i blink, tears will be pouring out of my eyes...

what if i'll miss some of his firsts - first steps, first dutch word...

what will i do when he's at school?

what if he needs me still?

what if he doesnt like to play with other kids?

what if he wants to play with me?

Hardy reasoned things out with me, reminding me that this was what we have discussed and agreed on. this will be good for him. good for his communication skills, socializing with other kids. and this is for Aidan, we're doing this for him. i kept on saying but.. but this... but that...

After a long silence on the dining table, i then burst out... "what if i'll miss him?" with tears rolling down my eyes, crying like a baby...

Hardy comforted me right away and said, "ok, lets view the school together first, with Aidan, and see if he likes it. then we decide when to send him".

Deep down i knew now is the time. it's a good time to send him to school.

I kept telling Aidan when we were playing, that we're going to send him to a playschool, mentally preparing him as well as myself! that week, i was all emotional when putting him on his bed for his nap, knowing that someone else would do it other than me. i get all emotional when feeding him, knowing that someone else is going to do it other than me. i get all emotional laughing and chasing him around the house, knowing that someone else will play with him other than me...

We visited the school. and we loved it. only 12 kids in one school. each child has their own bed to sleep in. the school's so clean and well organized. with an animal farm closeby, potato farm, basically, the school is surrounded with greens, tucked away far from the city. it's a good place. having work as a preschool teacher myself, i knew it was a good place for him, and i knew it was time.

Last Friday was his first day at school. Aidan was in good hands of the 3 lovely ladies, and so was his mama. hardy took leave that day, just to keep both (mainly mama) of us happy and to see that everthing goes well.

It went well indeed. (Aidan cried the first 15 mins, and mama cried the first hour whlist holding and smelling his bib!)

I cant imagine sending him to primary school in a few years time, where the hours are longer, and later to a secondary school, saying goodbye to him when he leaves for college, and later on off to uni, and i cant imagine him getting married... oh well, i suppose you have to let them go sooner or later!

And all that, for once a week, half a day i.e 4 hours at school a week!! zaza... zaza...

(oh! and aidan will be 1 this friday!!)


Anonymous said...

Hi Zaza
I know how you feel. I have yet to send Natasha to her peuterschool in November and I don't know how it's going to be like on the first day. I don't know if she's going to cry or maybe me crying. But just remember it'll be good for both you and him as you'll have some time to yourself and Aidan will at least get to interact with other kids. Rozie

k.ct said...

dear zaza,
mula2 mmg la u sedih sbb 'terpisah' seketika ngan mamat tu (hehe..) but u r doing dis for him jugak kan.
inshaallah..dia ok...rite aidan ??
he' gonna b so o.k la za...dun worry so much eh.

zuraida said...

jgnlah sedih sangat. I know how it feel. even k.zue hantar hamizan gi baby sitter first time after 2 months jaga dia pun rasa teruk, ni kan pula zaza yang almost 1 year jaga dia kat umah.
kalau k.zue keluar seorang (mcm gi bank ke or beli barang & ayah dia tak ikut)apa jadi mesti bawa hamizan. sanggup k.zue bersusah payah nak buka stroller & bawa brg dia walaupun masa tu dia baru 3 bulan. Masa 1st time tak kasi bawa tu - masa tu umur dia 6 bulan, bila salin baju nak keluar dah nangis cam orang hilang anak. tu yg lepas tu gi mana pun boleh bawa hamizan hehehe.. (lg pun "" - you know!) ;)

Cat Cat said...

It's good to know Aidan is in preschool.. You will be surprised to know how much he learned in school, the mixing around with other kids actually will help him to adapt his kinder year in real school. So, better start early than suffer later. You did a good job. You will be so proud of him. Give Aidan a hug for me.

Anonymous said...

hi zaza!

wow aidan dah pegi preschool!hey no worries lah he's in good hands..if i were u,i'll be so happy my anak2 dah pegi sekolah so tht i can hv my own time...u know lah ada 3 anak like having 30kids now i'm enjoying every moment without the kids for few hrs jek noon semua dah balik..n esp hafiy balik ada hoework n u know how much i hate homework masa sekolah hihihi..but what to do dah kerja 'mak'kena negok anak punya for awhile ajer lah boleh enjoy b4 baby no4 keluar hahaha..

take care!

Lollies said...

Its really ok to feel that way. Go ahead andcry your heart out. I remembered crying in the car as soon as I leave my first one at only two months in the nursery. because I had to work. Nangiiiiissssssssssssssss.

But since you already know what you want and you think will do him good, brace yourself. Remember he will still need you and you my dear will always be his number one.

I am my number one to all my three kids. Even though now they are so happy at school.

Pat you at the back. I understand

mº¿ºsh, brecht & nora said...

dearest zaza, it is always harder for us mums to let og our our precious little ones! i cried as soon as i left Nora's school premises on her first day! B had to hug and calm me down by the road side! But it is really for their own good to interact, socialise and developed their skills at school, toughens 'em up! I know u hv tons of worrysome qstns but hang in there, u'll soon see Aidan will enjoy school alot! Good luck wtih the adjusting period! Hugs - Mush -

rini said...

We chatted about this, didnt we ?
Am sure, you and Aidan will be fine.
Trust me !

Since you're going away to a place that I envy you so much, so here's an early birthday shout to that specially little boy.

Happy 1st Birthday Aidan !

Anonymous said...

Don't feel too sad and worried, by the look of the preschool, it's very organised, safe and fun! Aidan will have loads of fun growing up with the kids of his age. Mesti lagi pandai!! Cepat nya dah 1 yr old. They grow up really fast..err we age faster i think.

M A Janssen said...

You'll be OK after a few months. I missed Dahlia too when she first entered school but after seeing her enthusiasm for it & the nice few hours I have to myself, I look forward to sending her to school for the both of our sakes. Perhaps Aidan is a bit too young to appreciate it but it's still nice for hime to be with other kids. Give yourself time mama - you'll be OK!!!

Anonymous said...

Aww kesiannya. I know I'm in no position to be dispensing advice, I'm after all not a mummy, but going to playskool at one just seems too early no? But I guess you want him to interact with 'people' his age kan so good intentions should produce equally good outcome. Happy early birthday wishes for Aidan. Don't be too sad abt the separation ok and enjoy the UK trip.

Anonymous said...

Hi Zaza! I know exactly how you feel. I went through the exact same experience. But i've passed that stage. Moved on. It was also rather severe for me. I left the daycare crying! I thought I was going nuts! Now i know it's perfectly normal and that's how I am. All the best!
Love, Melvis.

Rita Ho said...

Zaza ... I enjoyed reading your thoughts and came away with this picture - Aidan having a BALL while Mommy BAWLS away. That is true love! One big hug from Seattle for you. :)

Theta said...


I can truly relate to your predicament. Funny how your mind wandered off to the different stages of his (school) life, as I would do!

Take care.

It's only once a week, and you can use the spare time at the salon, or shopping and whatnots...

Ohhh, I hope I can convince myself that way too when the time comes ;)

Ajzie said...

Hai Zaza
I know how you feel.. Kak Azi pun sama mcm tuh masa hantar Alya ke sekolah di Germany.. Setiap saat tgk handy.Risau sgt. Tp Alya cool aje. Tak sampai 2month she's can speak and understand Deutsch.

Jangan risau. Don't feel too sad and worried ok.. Semua akan berjalan dengan lancar..Insyallah..

Happy Birthday to Aidan and enjoy the UK trip. Salam buat Fifi n Ferran.

Take care

Frankensteina said...

The school sounds perfect! I don't think we have something like that here in we?

zara's mama said...

Heehee.. we all go through this 'sentimental' phase huh?

Btw, the school looks good.. Haih.. where can we find something like that in Malaysia? If we do.. it'll cost a bomb.

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

rozie: i suppose it's gonna be nice to have my 'me' time once a week kan? i'm sure natasha will have no problems whatsoever when she starts school after raya! bet you guys are excited to go back home eh? ;)

k.ct: yes i do worry a lot sometimes...

k.zue: i now know how you feel! sending aidan half a day je dah menangis teresak esak, apa tah lagi for those mothers yang kena hantar their kids every weekday to go to work! i guess i'm thankful that i have the chance to be with him everyday!

cat: i hope i am doing the right thing! but still some part of me wants him to be at home with me! cat, i hugged aidan for you dah, i told him it was from tante cat from the states ;)

amy: anak aku baru je masok playschool, anak kau dah stage balik sekolah buat homework!! hehe.

lollies: my gosh, i can only imagine how you felt leaving a 2 month old baby at the nursery! i have lots to be thankful of. but seriously lollies, hats of to you and those other moms who had to endure the day seperation with their child(s). *pats you back!*

mush: did nora cried too? how long did it take you to calm down. gosh.. kita serupa la mush!!

rini: yep! we spoke about this the other day and i kept hearing you say "tak apa... you'll enjoy your time alone nanti".. we'll wait till next friday! hehe..

anonymous: the school is really organized. and its a good environment for him to be in. and yes.. they grow up soooo fast!!

mus: ye la mus, memang kena give time. i normally take slightly longer to adjust and be ok with things, i hope aidan tak ikot i.

tw: thats what i thought in the beginning too but since he's one, i think he needs to socialize with other kids! we try to keep it once a week, half a day for the next one year and by 2 we should be sending him twice a week.

melvis: it helps so much to read what other mommies thinks and have gone through! makes me feel so so much better! thanks!!

rita: hahahahah!! you ahh.. never fail to make me smile (and this time laugh!) hug hug!!

theta: shopping!! yes! that's something we all look forward too regardless in what mood we're in!

ajzie: yes i suppose you're right.. kids will learn fast and hopefully aidan will pick up the language in no time!

frankie: its like a playschool type of nursery. i'm sure there's tonnes. but this one has rather flexible times. you can choose half a day, once a week.. i'm certain there's a few in kl! get ready my dear!! ;)

zara&zaria's mama: we do indeed! in malaysia sure got!! i have have the money i'd definitely open one, and i'd ask you to be my partner! ;)