Friday, 20 April 2007

Simply a Housewife?

Oprah would describe being a housewife and a mother simply as the "most toughest job in the world". i wouldnt actually agree to that (yet) as i'm just entering my 7th month old of motherhood, and just a little over a year of married life.

But lately, i found myself being in a rather housewife-ish feeling. not that i'm not enjoying it, i am. but somehow, you'd loose your identity in just being a 'housewife'. i'm H's wife, and Aidan's mum. i have yet to discover myself and my capabilities, away from what i do at home (cook, clean, wash, dry, burp Aidan, love, care and now attempting to grow plants). I am really thankful with what i have. do not get me wrong. watching my son grow is simply the best thing to do, being able to witness his first few milestones, play with him and hearing him laugh and watching him smile. those are just priceless. and not to mention looking forward to every evening when my husband comes home from work. i enjoy cooking for him, us, i love doing the washing up (thus why we, or i decided not to have a dishwasher). i love doing all those. LOVE it. but somehow, i need to find myself, doing the things that i love doing. making my own money with probably selling the things i love and made, just like before, i dont know...(used to have a little tiny business of my own back home prior moving here). i miss all that. going out with my good friend yoyo, going makans (out eating) with our friends, watch a movie, sitting down with mum and talk for hours. i really miss all those. i have yet to discover myself here, my own self.

After our dinner last night, i was sorting out the food stuff H brought back from kakak's house. i knew H would want to laze in front of the telly and get into control of the remote, but i asked him to help me out with the labelling. there was simply too many rempahs (spices). i would have love to do it on my own but i wanted the company. he, happily, though half heartedly (i could sense) did it with no questions asked. but i was annoyed. why? coz i was in a housewife-ish feeling and i didnt want anything to add to it. it was half heartedly! doing it all alone simply adds more to it!! thus, resulting to me being a little bit unhappy thus quiet and turned into little miss grumpy(and some of you would say ungrateful).

I had a good friend told me of her situation with her husband where she had to do everything in the house, including driving her husband back and forth. i sympethize with her and her situation. i hope all will work out soon and all will be happy again.

I had another good friend who told me how she envys me and wishes she could be a stay at home mum and enjoy her children grow.

Some people would do anything to be a housewife, to be here away from home. i know.

After thinking more and more of them and their sutiations, i am even more grateful with what i have, i love being a housewife, but i want to be a housewife with a difference! (is that possible?)

It shouldnt be simply a housewife for me.

Till i find that something 'else' to do alongside being a stay-at-home mum, and something with a 'difference' to add to my 'housewife' occupation title/job description, i shall continue loving every moment of this.

To my dear husband, i'm sorry i made you label those spices with proper labels and proper spelling. it's friday! lets have some fun!! ;)

Z

2 comments:

mum&dad said...

It's such a coincidence that LABELING(spice bottles!!)is mentioned in this post.You know Zaza thathumans too need/want to be LABELED - personally for her to define her identity,and socially for the mental convenience of others to figure out quickly who this person is.I'm sure soon you will be choosing your label/s from a list probably including:WRITER(travel/lifestyle/homemaking/psychology/motivating/etc. DESIGNER(gifts/confectionery/flowers/etc. SOCIAL WORKER. TRAINER(toddlers/ pre schoolers/mothers/etc. BUSINESSWOMEN. ADMINISTRATOR and the list can go on. For the time being,like you said,enjoy what you are doing.

Aidan's Mama & Papa said...

but my level of confidence is slightly below average now! especially when everything's in dutch!
writer? you think people read what i write? only you and mum are my loyal reader in here!
social worker? yes, would love it only if i can communicate in dutch.
trainer? administrator? same reason as above!
will find out soon.. that's for sure. and yes, in the meantime, will surely enjoy being aidan's mum and H's wife! ;) love you both!

Z