{31}

Its Friday! its friday! and it's my birthday!! yipeeyayeyyy!!

I am going to write the same things as i wrote in my other blog... so here goes!

When one gets older and hopefully much wiser, there isnt much to celebrate. instead of celebrating, one needs to be thankful. i am indeed thankful to so, so many things in life.

But this year's different. unlike previous years, this year, i am extremely at ease with my age. i am proud to be the person that i am. i am pleased with what i have accomplished. i am extremely grateful with what i have. i am extremely thankful with all His blessings and i grew to be much much happier than previous years.

Birthdays are suppose to be for our mum and dads, for giving us life, for giving us love, for putting up with us, for giving us their best. birthdays are suppose to be for those who shapes us into what we are today. and with that, i have got so many people to thank.

And of course my life was complete with the presence of Hardy. i have more life in me than i ever had before. i then entered motherhood. and when Aidan came into the world, i've never felt so content. every minute now is worth the pain i endured during labour!

So today, i ask myself what more can i possibly wish for. i have had the best years, the best people - family and friends, the best love, the best of everything in life. i should really, really be thankful.

31 today. 31 wonderful years filled with love, fun, sorrows, ups and downs. just one wish. i wish everybody could feel as happy and loved, if not much much more than what i'm currently feeling!

Z

Home & Away

We've been talking to Hardy on the phone for the past 5 days (thus why i've been blogging almost every day!). he calls home almost 3 times a day. yes, he's away again, for another long period. i'm now ok with him travelling. i just hope he's ok with it. it can be tiring too at times, i'm sure. i did cry that morning, at 4am, waiving at him as the taxi drove on. but as the days went on, we were ok, Aidan was well and we're happy, enjoying ourselves, taking walks, strolls and drives - just the 2 of us.

You know, opportunities like this doesnt come often. we consider ourselves very lucky to be here. and yes, with that, there are some goods and bads, there are advantages and disadvantages. and we're taking them in. all of it. Aidan kept on looking out of the window and calls out "papa" at 5ish or so, coz that's normally the time when Hardy comes home from work. i can feel he misses him. for me, it can be lonely too at times, especially at night, that's when we watch telly together, we talk and talk and have bedtime stories (let it be politics or plain gossips - to which Hardy doesnt participate!). but for sure, one thing good is, when Hardy's away this long, i can lose some kilos!

Toasts, mushroom soup, maggi mee, sardines for the past 4 days for dinner! its not much fun eating on your own, of course there's Aidan but... still..! and as for Hardy? well with all his hard work, his time travelling, he gets to enjoy sushi, t bone steak, mc donalds (halal mc donalds is luxury for us!) ... and not just that, he gets to enjoy the view on his 34th floor hotel. he gets to see half of Riyadh and make new acuaintences.

Hardy's been working too hard lately. sometimes i worry, but most of the time i'm happy. busy means good! today's gonna be a very important day for him. nervewrecking i'm sure (i'd probably pee my pants off!) but what an opportunity! an opportunity we should be thankful for!

So here's to papa, we hope you'll read this in the morning..
You'll surely shine papa.. Good Luck! we're very proud of you, hope all goes well and we'll see you at home later!! hugs and kisses: Aidan & Mama.

He's coming home and we're going to have a feast!

Baby - Boy

You will know when he's no longer a baby when:

1. you will buy less pampers
2. he can take off his jacket on his own
3. he can pull the zip of his jacket on his own
4. we no longer need to lie him down on the changing table to change his clothes
5. he can take off his own shoes
6. he can climb and run
7. he can dance
8. he knows the diffeence between a real handphone and his plastic toy one
9. he can converse with you, in his own language and understands what you're saying
10. he wants to try ayam masak kari, masak kicap and sambal belacan
11. he can be asked around - please put it on the table, lets sit down and eat, can you please clean up the mess, he passed with flying colours!

AND..
you will realise it more when you no longer head to the baby section for his clothes but head to the boys section. and then you will realise that their clothes are getting more expensive!

I'm amazed,.every single day. and i'm very proud of him. Aidan's really growing. but he's still my baby...

Z

Snowy Spring

We have had a snowy start to spring. it snowed last week. we have had plenty of snow showers, hail and sleet. it's not suppose to snow, it's end of march! my tulips, hyacinths and daffodils (probably the only 3 flowers i currently have in my garden), are in total shock! they're now confused as to whether they should come out and bloom!!! i just pray that they wont die on me! i'm sure it wont cause it wasnt me who planted them, it was dad. he planted the bulbs for us last autumn. he has green hands and whatever he plants will surely grow!

We were in the car, back from the DIY store, getting my picket fence, and this was the view.

It snowed the next morning too. our car covered with snow. but slowly melting away....

View from Aidan's room. on the right is our garage roof, and below is the roof to our dining room and kitchen.

My olive tree on the right (fingers crossed, please grow, please please).

Weather's much better this week. we even played in the garden. hope it'll stay! till my next post (which is going to be very soon!), have a great week ahead guys!

Z

My Baby Boy Bunny

Being in a foreign land (which we now call home), it's always nice to learn of other cultures and celebrations - the carnaval, sinterklaas.. and today, it's pasen, or easter. Aidan went easter egg hunting last friday at school and brought back some chocolade eitjes (chocolate mini eggs). the best thing about sending your child to playschool/nursery is that not only they get the exposure and you get your own time, but they'll come back with loads of scribbles, coloured papers, and all sorts of craft! he came back with bunny ears, eggs, chocolates and some coloured bunny drawings he coloured himself.

As promised, Aidan got his bite of chocolate today. ok, bites. but only today. i dont give him sugar, but today's an exception. so after breakfast, he had one whole chocolate. (consider it a belated treat for your 18 months ya Aidan!). we enjoyed counting the eggs, as they get lesser and lesser by the minute (yes, guilty... we ate them too!)

It is very important for us to learn of other backgrounds, religion and cultures. and most importantly to respect them too. we dont celebrate easter, we just enjoy the chocolates and the decotations at the shops. but to those of you who celebrate easter, hope you've had a good weekend! tomorrow is still a public holiday for us, i'm gonna make full use of my time and enjoy them with my boys!

Hope Aidan will feel better tomorrow (he woke up with a slight tempreature this morning). have a good week ahead everyone!

Z

My Haven Home

I remember back when i was younger, i used to LOVE playing "house" or the malay word "pondok pondok". i'd go to my favourite corner, grab some pegs and put up a cloth to make the roof, i'd take my dolls and my toys and just stay, play in my so called house. i was the happiest. and if i was outside, i would ask dad to put up my smurf tent, and i'd have my tea party with kakak and the rest of the gang (toys!) i can recall every single minute, we have photos of us having our little tea party, but they're not with me now, p.s: is it with you fi?

As years went by, i told myself that eventhough it might take me ages, but i would love to have my own house. back then, i could picture my own house with my little white picket fences infront of the house, a garden of daisys, an apple tree, white windows and doors... and here i am, away, far far away from that little corner where i used to put up the cloths, hundreds and hundreds of miles away from where that smurf tent once stood, i have a home- a dream came true.

One would be surprised to see what we have embarked ourselves into, almost 3 years ago. we bought an old, old house and had a huge renovation done to it. back then, having been in The Netherlands for less than half a year, being pregnant with our first child, little knowledge in dutch language, no relatives, little friends whom you can rely and trust, we were CRAZY! absolutely crazy to actually want this house, and get it. getting the mortgage was a huge problem, and we had a dateline too, since my tummy was getting bigger. but we have had good, very good and nice people who helped us, from the person responsible getting us the mortgage and sorting all the paperwork, to the man who laid the bricks (there's a post and pics i once wrote here - in loving memory). now, we're slowly, putting in the interiors, bit by bit. it takes time to furnish the house. and having had just a little bit of rezeki lately, last week, we bought another sofa. a single seater sofa to be added alongside our 2 sitter.

As i sat on my new sofa today (after ironing!), with my tea, looking back at what we had gone through, looking at our living room, dining room and a glimpse of our kitchen from where i was sitting, and not to mention our floor (Hardy, Dad, Kakak & Redza did the whole entire flooring of the house), i thank God for all the help, and the patience, and all His blessings, for getting us through one of the most challenging period of our lives. it turned out just the way we'd dream of.

I can only imagine what Aidan's feeling, and what he thinks of his new "house". no major renovation though. with just a bit of his papa's creativity with the sofa boxes, he now has his own "pondok pondok" (mama's creativity will come later, i'll help him choose the paint to colour his walls and windows!).

(oh, hardy's gonna help me put up my white picket fence and plant an apple tree this summer!)

I remember my parents always taught me on the importance of loving your home and to love being in your own home. its not about putting expensive furnitures and fittings, it's about making it a home, making it your own, and not to mention filling it with love. i absolutely love being at home, it is my absolute haven.

Z

A Housewife's Chore

I am so terrible. when mum was here, she irons all our clothes - happily. she'd pull the ironing board closer to the telly, turned to Jeremy Kyle (a talk show), and irons away. and boy she's good at it (amongst many many other things!) you'd see the rails all empty, and all shirts tucked away, hung in our cupboards.

Hardy's shirts are getting more and more now since the "travelling year" and the year of conferences year began. i find myself washing more these days, not to mention Aidan's clothes gets dirty pretty fast too. now there's rows and rows of them, in our laundry room, just waiting for me to straighten them out. i tend to put it on hold, day after day... besok lah... and when tomorrow comes, besok lah. i seldom put household chores on hold but just this one. this tiny teeny one - this ironing bit.

As i was ironing last night, with no telly on, thoughts came pouring (your mind can REALLY go places when you're ironing!). then i thought, 3 years ago, i wasnt doing these. there wasnt any hoovering (3 floors mind you!), there wasnt much ironing (for 3 people), there wasnt any much cooking (for 2 1/2 people - aidan counts as half!). wouldnt it be nice to have a maid, just a weekend one like my neighbour. gosh.. god knows how expensive they are over here!

I feel like a housewife more when i'm ironing!

The good one sitting on my right ear then whispered to me, you're doing this for your husband and your son. not that you're working, not that you have 3 kids. and by doing this you'll be rewarded, with pahala. 3 years ago you werent this happy, what more do you want, just look at the boys and what you have now. and then happy thoughts came pouring- with Hardy coming back from the office and kissing me on my forehead, grabbing Aidan and tossing him up, wrestling with him on the floor... why did i think about getting a maid?! i should be grateful that i have all this time to do the chores for them! it's all trully worth it.

We knew before our big move here that we wont be having such kind of help, no maid, no familes to leave Aidan for a short while for you to get some rest when you're down, no cheap warung stalls to go to for dinner when you dont feel like cooking.... but all the good stuff of being here outweighs them. it works more for us. ironing? what's ironing!?

I better stop. gonna go downstairs and finish up ironing. but wait.. american idol's about to start! heheh..

Have a good weekend everyone!

Z

Win & Lose

Sorry for not writing for almost a week. me throat got the better of me, and i wasnt feeling dandy lately. only now i'm feeling better back to writing and crafting.

So, ok... i've counted the votes (thank you guys, for all the comments, i practically laughed my way through each and every one of them!). vote's been counted and Aidan won! he's cuter. of course he's cuter. that wasnt my best angle you see. but anyway, not that i mind loosing to him at all... :) you should see my other photos when i was Aidan's age! sama, serupa, sebiji!

*******************

I am now officially adicted to ebay. i dont know why i've only just discoverd the thrill of bidding, i am so terribly slow at all these - only recently i discovered and actually tried out photoshop (click here to see my new header). and now, ebay! where have i been!?! i find myself clicking on to ebay at least 4-5 times a day. i find myself wanting more and more things. i find myself wishing i have more to spend (so not good!). but i finally found it. i found one item that i wanted. i scouted for it, i was patient, i was lucky and i WON! yeyheyyy! i kept refreshing the page right until it says "Congrats". i then shouted "i WON!"Aidan looked at me and started to clap his hands! i straight away called Hardy and broke the news! the best thing about both my boys, whenever i'm happy, they'd react happy and thrilled as well! haha!! mama... mama...

*******************

And so the Malaysian Elections are on back home. anyone voting?

The Mirror Has Two Faces!

Guess who?!?

Dont we look alike?! who's cuter?!

Safety First

Aidan's growing really fast. his height is now 84cm, which is way above average for his age (and so we've been told). he is one strong boy, and can now reach the top of our dining table and our island in the kitchen. he's exploring each and every corner of the house. as soon as he turned one, we installed all the safety locks and added bumpers and gates. we childproof almost everything in the house.

He loves climbing up the stairs, going in the kitchen, playing underneath the table, reaching for things on the kitchen counters, poking into those socket holes and not to mention pulling the kitchen drawers (alltogether we have 13 drawers and 5 doors at his level). so imagine my concerns and worries.

At this age, he gets curious all the time. we'd better be safe, than sorry. thankfully all the gadgets and gates are made affordably and of good quality here. i just wish it is affordable, and in good quality everywhere in the world as well, there shouldnt be a price for safety.

Z

Its coming... it's coming...

Aidan is extremely close to Hardy. for the past 5 days, every morning when Aidan wakes up, he comes into our room, and stood by Hardy's side of the bed. hoping that his papa will be there, under the duvet, somewhere. for the past 5 days, he's been listening to his papa's voice on the phone. for the past 5 days, mama's been driving the car, not papa. for the past 5 days, mama's been tucking him to bed, and not his papa. for the past 5 days, we've been eating our lunches and dinner infront of the telly (shouldnt!). for the past 5 days, there wasnt any tossing and tumblling, and all those stunt moves. for the past 5 days, there wasnt a tune to chan mali chan.

But hey, tomorrow's Friday!!!

And papa's coming home tomorrow!!! yeayyyyyy!! papa's coming home tomorrow!!!

We miss you sooooo terribly much papa. cant wait for you to come home tomorrow!!

No Kidding!

Back in Malaysia, you can fill up your tyres with air free of charge. just go into any petrol stations and you'll see the pump.

Here, in the Netherlands, its pretty much the same. just go to any petrol stations and you'll see the pump. but before the air gets to travel the tube to your tyres, you'd have to put 0,50 cents in the machine first.

Yes, air costs 0,50 cents.

I remembered once, when we first moved here, we were on our way back home, from a long journey. we were on the highway and stopped for petrol and air. Hardy filled up the tank and drove towards the pump. he got out, he stood there and later smiled towards me.

Hardy: "we have to pay for air".
Zaza: "thats ridiculous! hah? serious? you're kidding me! jom carik tempat lain" (lets find another petrol station)
Hardy: "i think they're all the same, we're in holland!"
Zaza: "then we go to belgium or germany!"'
Hardy: "noooOOOoooo... if we have to pay, we have to pay...."

Hahaha.. thank goodness we are in sittard! where both belgium and germany are 10 mins drive!!

When you pay 0,50 cents, you have 5 minuites of air!!

But anyway, we paid for it. unlike Hardy, i seriously need to adapt myself to the country. the last thing i want now that i live here is to be a kiasu.

Guys, if you're getting air for free, never ever take it for granted!

For us, even if we have to pay high taxes, even if they charge us for our garbage, even if we complain about the weather sometimes, and the 0,50 cents for 5 minuites of air, we still love it here!!


Z

Happy Chinese New Year

Here's wishing all our chinese friends, readers of ours, a

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

To our blog friends, Rita Ho, Gert, Zara&Zaria's mama, Cat, U.Lee, Rose, sending you guys tonnes of love and wishing all of you everything good for this year!

Winter in Paris

There were times when i wish i could live somewhere in the big cities of the netherlads, and not in Sittard. Den Haag perhaps, closer to our friends Noreen and Daniel, so that i can go gossip cakap melayu with Noreen. Rotterdam perhaps, closer to my new friend Nina K, and hopefully will get to meet K.Muna as well... the bigger the cities, the more international they are. but i must admit that Sittard is not a bad place to live in. i'm loving it more and more now. especially when we're geographycally ideal to visit major cities of Europe. Brussels is just an hour away, Prague is 8 hours drive, Dusseldorf is an hour away, and Paris is just 4 hours away from home!




Hardy and i share the love for travelling. ideally by car. it gives us the flexibility, mainly on timing. it was Carnaval weekend (when the Dutch go weird and crazy wearing colourful costumes, really nice though!) right up till yesterday, so Hardy planned us a trip to Paris. this was my 3rd trip (first one being 6 years old, too small to remember anything). and our 2nd trip since we got here. the first time was in 2006, when i was 5 months pregnant with Aidan (you can read about it in my old friendster blog, but you'd really have to look and scroll for it).

And this time, we thought i'd be nice to witness Eifel when the sun sets. we missed it but it turned out to be even much more beautiful at night. there's just something about Eifel Tower that makes me melt inside and go all awwwee. i wish everyone would have the privilage to visit Eifel one day. it's simply spactacular.


Here's one with Aidan posing infront of Notre Dame. i'm sure when he's old enough he'll appreciate it more and probably whine at me as to why did i tie his mufla like a makcik! sorry dan...


And one last place before we head home, back to Sittard, would have to be Roland Garros. tennis was once my life. my dream to witness one of the Grand Slam tournaments came true 2 years back where Hardy brought me for one of the matches at Roland Garros. and this visit, we brought Aidan to the grounds. too early for the actual tournament but just to have a feel. Aidan now can swing both forehand and backhand, and guess what i'm gonna buy him for his 2nd birthday!?! hopefully i'll get to sell my cards!

We had a lovely time. a good winter break. but if you ask me would i want to live in Paris, i'd give it a pass. it's beautiful, and there's plenty to love, but way to hectic for someone like me. and to actually drive in Paris, you need tonnes of guts, a brave heart and be 200% confident! (way to go papa!)


Z

Excuses

Ok... ok... we know we havent been writing... we're terribly sorry. but there are few good explanations as to why we've been quiet... so hear us out!

1. we've been spending some quality time together as a family since Hardy got back from Saudi.

2. we've been spending some quality time together as a couple since Hardy got back from Saudi.

3. we've been busy socializing with Hardy's friends at work (ie. the whole department) - ok.. ok.. it was just for one night that we partied till morning... but still... this is a valid excuse!

4. we've (i mean Hardy) been busy planning for our short winter break.

5. i have been very very busy playing with my new craft machine Hardy bought for me last couple of weeks. (click here to see what i've been doing).

6. Hardy's been extremely busy lately at work (good! good! the sky's the limit bebeh!)

7. and we were away for 3 days. we went to Paris. we just got back.

Will download our photos and share them with you (hopefully tomorrow)! so guys, forgive us for not writing much sooner!

For now, we're gonna call it a day and tuck ourselves in our thick fluffy duvet.

Tot morgen!


Z

Overwhelmingly.....

That's probably the prefix word that would describe my feeling.....happy, closed, glad, grateful, submissive, nice, relieved and small. Alhamdulillah, my umrah went well. I was in awe trying to grasp with my own sense of feeling the first time I saw Masjidil Haram. It is indeed, awesome. We've probably seen Kaabah a zillion times but to experience it live, it's a blessing. Looking around at the sheer scale of it, where more than 3 million visitors annually - I am just lost for words trying to grasp on the idea of its total logistics, accomodation and the entire arrangement. Simply amazing. Subhanallah.

I'm thankful to A.Yob for all the arrangements he made, syukran. Abdul Rahman who joined me to Mekah, a Lebanese and 27 years Jeddah resident, is a mechanic himself, started when he was 7. He repaired cars and the likes. Before he dropped me off at the airport, he showed me a trick. We were in his car - manual transmission. He could change gear without having to press the clutch, 2 to 5 and backwards - almost like a semi automatic! Maybe you have seen it before but I certainly haven't. Now, that's really cool.

Another hour to boarding, can't wait to go home now. I miss my sweet and brave hearts. And the heater at home is not working at the moment. Z followed to the exact point on my instruction on trying to operate the so-called-high-tech digital thermostat (which she hates now...haha). I hope it will work. And she will save everyone from the sejukkk.....well done mama!

H

Faith

Before Hardy and i got married, he mentioned that one day, he dreams of going to Mecca with me.

Today's Hardy's final day of working in Riyadh. the original plan was for him to come back straight from Riyadh. but he decided to take make a change to his original plans, take a detour to Jeddah and from there, go to Mecca to perform his Umrah. so he'll be coming home a day later, on Friday.

Excited, thrilled, glad, happy, thankful that he got this chance. but at the same time, me being me, i worry. i remembered asking him "how are you gonna get to mekkah?" he said "i'll find my way around, get on a bus, or a cab or something, dont worry". those words made me worry even more, since there wasnt any proper, solid arrangements. he saw me frowning and said, "i'll ask them (his friends in Riyadh) to arrange and help me, shouldnt be any problem, i'm sure there's tonnes of people heading the same direction". i then straight away said "you know, one of my relative went to mekkah and didnt come back!". Hardy being Hardy, he continued teasing me.

I called up my cousin, who works a lot in Saudi and knows his way around there to help me out. almost crying out to him telling that i was worried. as kind and as generous of a person that he always is, he offered Hardy help and send out some of his contacts. comforting. 60% relieved. as usual with our telephone conversations, we laughed and joked about it but his last words hit me. it hit me home. before we ended the phone conversation, he said " Za, jangan risau, Hardy nak buat benda baik, Tuhan sentiasa lindung orang yang nak buat benda baik."

Thank god we were on the phone, if he was to be right infront of me, i wouldnt know where to put myself, duck my head or probably hide under the table. i felt embarrased. for not remembering Him. it made me realize more that we should remember Him, always have faith in Him, as He knows what's best and will always show us the way. how could i ever doubt Him. and why must i worry too much!

I was privillaged. i performed my Umrah when i was 18. there were 3 families, my uncle's, the Ajibs and my family. i wasnt ready back then. not to mention the flights we had to endure before we finally get there (LHR-KL-JB-KL-JED), all in 2 days. i didnt take it seriously. i didnt grab the opportunity with both my two hands, with my soul and full heartedly. back then, i enjoyed shopping in Mecca more, back then i enjoyed looking at the camels more, back then i enjoyed the food more. how silly. but i rememberd my experience. it was only towards the end of it all that i felt close to Him. how i wish i can be with my husband, making the most of Umrah now that i'm wiser. i hope we get to go there again, as a family.

1 week without Hardy. 1 week handling Aidan alone (i wonder how those single parents do it sometimes), 1 week of no serious cooking (my neighbour John said i lost weight!), 1 week of going to bed at half past 10, no later, 1 week of handling errands myself with Aidan tagging along (sending car for repairs, groceries, monthly trip for Aidan's check ups, going to post office etc), and most importantly, 1 week of some serious bonding with Aidan.

What this had done to me was i've bonded more with Aidan. i feel like i love him even more. he's my best friend, my son, my pride and my joy, my son and of course the reason for my backaches, but still i love him more and more. and lately, when we're alone, i cry when he smiles back, i cry when he kisses me, i cry when i look at him sleeping, i cry when he calls out pa-pa-pa-pa.

But despite my cengeng-ness, i'm much calmer, i can handle things my own, i'm a little bit more independent, i dare to drive long distance without Hardy, i have more faith in myself, and i'm making more with what i have. i guess there's a reason for everything. perhaps its about time i should be more confident, perhaps its about time i bond more with Aidan.

2 more days. just 2 more days till Hardy comes home! insyaallah, his dreams of going to Mecca will come true tomorrow. and his dreams of going to Mecca with me will come true one day.

What i prayed for in Mecca some 12 years ago came true. thought he'd never come. took slightly longer though, but it came true! alhamdulillah. (H, if you're reading this before you leave, have a safe journey, make the best of it, we love and we miss you loads, and cant wait for you to come home).

Thank you A.Yob, thank you so so much for all your help and assistance. we love and we miss everyone back home.


Z

Lost Without You

I did it! i drove to Eindhoven without Hardy sitting next to me for the very first time. my first time driving out of town, long distance, on a highway! after worrying for quite sometime on my first ever long distance drive in the NL, i finally did it! (Sittard to Eindhoven Airport slightly over an hour's drive)

Hardy left for Riyadh yesterday early in the morning, 6.30 am to be exact. and i sobbed like a kid. the taxi came right on the dot. he's away for a whole week. this is actually the first time he's gone for such a long period of time. the most was 3 days, 2 nights. i can sense there's plenty of long trips yet to come. its not that i'm not happy he got this chance to shine, i am, i trully am. its just that i'm gonna miss him oh-so-so much.

For the past one month, we have had the pleasure of the company of my nephew (my cousin's 20 year old son), Faizal. he's currently on his well deserved europe tour (i will write more on him and include some photos in my next posts). and yesterday, we had to say goodbye to him as well, as he was on his next destination - Dublin.

And since Hardy's away, who else is to send Faizal to the airport? he can take the train, of course, but i didnt have the heart to let him be by his own, on the train. i know it'll do him good in gaining his confidence etc but i want to make sure he gets there safe, cheked in and everything. i remembered telling Hardy "i cant, i cant, i cant drive to Eindhoven" in the beginning, and i remembered Hardy telling me "of course you can!" i dont know why i was so afraid. perhaps it was due to the 2 'incidents' i had prior to this, not to mention its left hand drive here, and the fact that our car is a very long one. i doubt myself easily and quite frequently when it comes to driving.

With the help of our Ms. Navigation in the car, i found my way to the airport. it is so so reliable to have one. we travel a lot as a family, and for work (for Hardy). having such system in the car has made travelling much more enjoyable (i dont have to flip through those maps), stress free (no arguing who's right or wrong), and informative as well (learning the shortest route, as well as the detour). we simply cant make it without them! our car's navigation system covers only the Benelux Countries. its simply not enough if we plan to travel beyond Benelux. and so we bought our TomTom early last year.

We've travelled quite a bit for the past year. seriously we did some serious travelling.. and this thing is simply amazing! how modern technology can simplify your journey, your life!

What would i do without you? i'd certainly be lost without you... that's for sure.

2 goodbyes in 1 day, what a weekend! but i did it! i drove back home with Aidan at the back. reached home and straight away thanked God that it was a safe ride. took Aidan out of his car seat and gave him a big huge hug. might be nothing for some of you lot, but this has certainly boost up another 5% of my confidence level!

And since we're on the topic of "lost", here's our current favourite song for winter. enjoy!

To Papa:

It was a beautiful day today. almost like spring! we went to the park and fed the ducks today! and mama brought me to the playground where i met 2 girls, they were twins! they kept saying i was "lief". we miss you lots and cant wait for you to come home.

From Aidan.

Z

2008

Hardy warned me of 2008. he warned me that he'll be taking up a new role at work. he warned me that he'll be doing a lot of travelling. he warned me that there will be lots of adjustments at work. he warned me that there will be times when i have to deal with things myself, make decisions on my own, run errands without him.

I am not really that independent girl sometimes. or maybe cause i just want to do things with him around? maybe i simply love his company too much and want him to be by my side? ok.. ok... so i am not that independent... and now, 2008 is here.

This is by no means my new years resolution. i dont make them, never in fact. they can be very unrealistic some times. i reckon these are real, besides, this is something i should be doing, all year round...

I hereby announce that i will try my outmost best to:
be much more independent (like driving Faizal to Eindhoven Airport this Saturday, just Aidan and me), i will be calmer (tak cepat melenting), i'll be confident of myself (confident enough to sell of my crafts), i'll be less gullible (they always fool me! them to blame partly!), i'll drive safelier (after having had 2 scratches on the car. but hey! left hand drive and a car of 5 mtrs long, takes time ok!), hope i'll manage the house better (like ironing Hardy's office shirts at least 5 of them in 3 days!), i'll be less cengeng and be stronger (by not worrying and crying when hardy says he has to go to some country for a week), less dwelling (5-15 mins is enough) , be smarter (think smart and not let other people step on me), be able to say "NO" when i should (like when someone wants to sell you something that you dont really need), eat healthy (will have to cut down on rice and those bloody good potatoes!), look better (no more going out when hair's wet, but at least i put on some make up and gloss! ), and not to mention manage our finances better this year.

I just hope 2008 will bring more exciting days, happy times, plenty of good adventures, good holidays, good health for all, loads of fond memories together, more good deeds to others, be even more thankful and grateful to God, be as green as we can to protect the environment, smile more and love more!

Its just 9 days into 2008 and Hardy's already in Lyon, France. and starting this weekend he'll be away for the whole week. i know i should get used to this by now. afterall, we know of this even before coming here that he'll have to travel. oh... come on zaza, you can do it...

Z

Healthy, Happy New Year!

First of all, allow me to say how sorry i am for not being able to reply to each and every one of your comments. it was a hectic winter break, good but how we wished the bug didnt get to us. almost all got the bug - norovirus. the virus swept most of the people in the UK. some (my sister Fifi, my brother in law Redza and their 6 month old baby Ferran) and now Hardy are still suffering from it. i seriously hope and pray everyone will be back on their feet again, up and running very soon.

Aidan's well now. the nasty chesty cough is still there, but he's improving, back being his bubbly self.

Secondly, allow me to thank each and every single one of you for your kind thoughts, wishes, prayers and kind words. i am so deeply touched. thank you guys, its really nice and very comforting to know that we have such friends in this world. you've touched us.

Thirdly, i hope it's not too late. we'd like to wish ALL of you a VERY HEALTHY, HAPPY (and hopefully wealthy too.. hehe) NEW YEAR 2008!! Hope you like what Aidan and I drew on New Year's Day. sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, we wish all of you all the good things, all the love, all the happiness and good health in 2008.

Love,

Zaza, Hardy & Aidan

(tonnes to write and share! will get this blog moving for 2008!)