Win & Lose

Sorry for not writing for almost a week. me throat got the better of me, and i wasnt feeling dandy lately. only now i'm feeling better back to writing and crafting.

So, ok... i've counted the votes (thank you guys, for all the comments, i practically laughed my way through each and every one of them!). vote's been counted and Aidan won! he's cuter. of course he's cuter. that wasnt my best angle you see. but anyway, not that i mind loosing to him at all... :) you should see my other photos when i was Aidan's age! sama, serupa, sebiji!

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I am now officially adicted to ebay. i dont know why i've only just discoverd the thrill of bidding, i am so terribly slow at all these - only recently i discovered and actually tried out photoshop (click here to see my new header). and now, ebay! where have i been!?! i find myself clicking on to ebay at least 4-5 times a day. i find myself wanting more and more things. i find myself wishing i have more to spend (so not good!). but i finally found it. i found one item that i wanted. i scouted for it, i was patient, i was lucky and i WON! yeyheyyy! i kept refreshing the page right until it says "Congrats". i then shouted "i WON!"Aidan looked at me and started to clap his hands! i straight away called Hardy and broke the news! the best thing about both my boys, whenever i'm happy, they'd react happy and thrilled as well! haha!! mama... mama...

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And so the Malaysian Elections are on back home. anyone voting?

The Mirror Has Two Faces!

Guess who?!?

Dont we look alike?! who's cuter?!

Safety First

Aidan's growing really fast. his height is now 84cm, which is way above average for his age (and so we've been told). he is one strong boy, and can now reach the top of our dining table and our island in the kitchen. he's exploring each and every corner of the house. as soon as he turned one, we installed all the safety locks and added bumpers and gates. we childproof almost everything in the house.

He loves climbing up the stairs, going in the kitchen, playing underneath the table, reaching for things on the kitchen counters, poking into those socket holes and not to mention pulling the kitchen drawers (alltogether we have 13 drawers and 5 doors at his level). so imagine my concerns and worries.

At this age, he gets curious all the time. we'd better be safe, than sorry. thankfully all the gadgets and gates are made affordably and of good quality here. i just wish it is affordable, and in good quality everywhere in the world as well, there shouldnt be a price for safety.

Z

Its coming... it's coming...

Aidan is extremely close to Hardy. for the past 5 days, every morning when Aidan wakes up, he comes into our room, and stood by Hardy's side of the bed. hoping that his papa will be there, under the duvet, somewhere. for the past 5 days, he's been listening to his papa's voice on the phone. for the past 5 days, mama's been driving the car, not papa. for the past 5 days, mama's been tucking him to bed, and not his papa. for the past 5 days, we've been eating our lunches and dinner infront of the telly (shouldnt!). for the past 5 days, there wasnt any tossing and tumblling, and all those stunt moves. for the past 5 days, there wasnt a tune to chan mali chan.

But hey, tomorrow's Friday!!!

And papa's coming home tomorrow!!! yeayyyyyy!! papa's coming home tomorrow!!!

We miss you sooooo terribly much papa. cant wait for you to come home tomorrow!!

No Kidding!

Back in Malaysia, you can fill up your tyres with air free of charge. just go into any petrol stations and you'll see the pump.

Here, in the Netherlands, its pretty much the same. just go to any petrol stations and you'll see the pump. but before the air gets to travel the tube to your tyres, you'd have to put 0,50 cents in the machine first.

Yes, air costs 0,50 cents.

I remembered once, when we first moved here, we were on our way back home, from a long journey. we were on the highway and stopped for petrol and air. Hardy filled up the tank and drove towards the pump. he got out, he stood there and later smiled towards me.

Hardy: "we have to pay for air".
Zaza: "thats ridiculous! hah? serious? you're kidding me! jom carik tempat lain" (lets find another petrol station)
Hardy: "i think they're all the same, we're in holland!"
Zaza: "then we go to belgium or germany!"'
Hardy: "noooOOOoooo... if we have to pay, we have to pay...."

Hahaha.. thank goodness we are in sittard! where both belgium and germany are 10 mins drive!!

When you pay 0,50 cents, you have 5 minuites of air!!

But anyway, we paid for it. unlike Hardy, i seriously need to adapt myself to the country. the last thing i want now that i live here is to be a kiasu.

Guys, if you're getting air for free, never ever take it for granted!

For us, even if we have to pay high taxes, even if they charge us for our garbage, even if we complain about the weather sometimes, and the 0,50 cents for 5 minuites of air, we still love it here!!


Z

Happy Chinese New Year

Here's wishing all our chinese friends, readers of ours, a

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

To our blog friends, Rita Ho, Gert, Zara&Zaria's mama, Cat, U.Lee, Rose, sending you guys tonnes of love and wishing all of you everything good for this year!

Winter in Paris

There were times when i wish i could live somewhere in the big cities of the netherlads, and not in Sittard. Den Haag perhaps, closer to our friends Noreen and Daniel, so that i can go gossip cakap melayu with Noreen. Rotterdam perhaps, closer to my new friend Nina K, and hopefully will get to meet K.Muna as well... the bigger the cities, the more international they are. but i must admit that Sittard is not a bad place to live in. i'm loving it more and more now. especially when we're geographycally ideal to visit major cities of Europe. Brussels is just an hour away, Prague is 8 hours drive, Dusseldorf is an hour away, and Paris is just 4 hours away from home!




Hardy and i share the love for travelling. ideally by car. it gives us the flexibility, mainly on timing. it was Carnaval weekend (when the Dutch go weird and crazy wearing colourful costumes, really nice though!) right up till yesterday, so Hardy planned us a trip to Paris. this was my 3rd trip (first one being 6 years old, too small to remember anything). and our 2nd trip since we got here. the first time was in 2006, when i was 5 months pregnant with Aidan (you can read about it in my old friendster blog, but you'd really have to look and scroll for it).

And this time, we thought i'd be nice to witness Eifel when the sun sets. we missed it but it turned out to be even much more beautiful at night. there's just something about Eifel Tower that makes me melt inside and go all awwwee. i wish everyone would have the privilage to visit Eifel one day. it's simply spactacular.


Here's one with Aidan posing infront of Notre Dame. i'm sure when he's old enough he'll appreciate it more and probably whine at me as to why did i tie his mufla like a makcik! sorry dan...


And one last place before we head home, back to Sittard, would have to be Roland Garros. tennis was once my life. my dream to witness one of the Grand Slam tournaments came true 2 years back where Hardy brought me for one of the matches at Roland Garros. and this visit, we brought Aidan to the grounds. too early for the actual tournament but just to have a feel. Aidan now can swing both forehand and backhand, and guess what i'm gonna buy him for his 2nd birthday!?! hopefully i'll get to sell my cards!

We had a lovely time. a good winter break. but if you ask me would i want to live in Paris, i'd give it a pass. it's beautiful, and there's plenty to love, but way to hectic for someone like me. and to actually drive in Paris, you need tonnes of guts, a brave heart and be 200% confident! (way to go papa!)


Z

Excuses

Ok... ok... we know we havent been writing... we're terribly sorry. but there are few good explanations as to why we've been quiet... so hear us out!

1. we've been spending some quality time together as a family since Hardy got back from Saudi.

2. we've been spending some quality time together as a couple since Hardy got back from Saudi.

3. we've been busy socializing with Hardy's friends at work (ie. the whole department) - ok.. ok.. it was just for one night that we partied till morning... but still... this is a valid excuse!

4. we've (i mean Hardy) been busy planning for our short winter break.

5. i have been very very busy playing with my new craft machine Hardy bought for me last couple of weeks. (click here to see what i've been doing).

6. Hardy's been extremely busy lately at work (good! good! the sky's the limit bebeh!)

7. and we were away for 3 days. we went to Paris. we just got back.

Will download our photos and share them with you (hopefully tomorrow)! so guys, forgive us for not writing much sooner!

For now, we're gonna call it a day and tuck ourselves in our thick fluffy duvet.

Tot morgen!


Z

Overwhelmingly.....

That's probably the prefix word that would describe my feeling.....happy, closed, glad, grateful, submissive, nice, relieved and small. Alhamdulillah, my umrah went well. I was in awe trying to grasp with my own sense of feeling the first time I saw Masjidil Haram. It is indeed, awesome. We've probably seen Kaabah a zillion times but to experience it live, it's a blessing. Looking around at the sheer scale of it, where more than 3 million visitors annually - I am just lost for words trying to grasp on the idea of its total logistics, accomodation and the entire arrangement. Simply amazing. Subhanallah.

I'm thankful to A.Yob for all the arrangements he made, syukran. Abdul Rahman who joined me to Mekah, a Lebanese and 27 years Jeddah resident, is a mechanic himself, started when he was 7. He repaired cars and the likes. Before he dropped me off at the airport, he showed me a trick. We were in his car - manual transmission. He could change gear without having to press the clutch, 2 to 5 and backwards - almost like a semi automatic! Maybe you have seen it before but I certainly haven't. Now, that's really cool.

Another hour to boarding, can't wait to go home now. I miss my sweet and brave hearts. And the heater at home is not working at the moment. Z followed to the exact point on my instruction on trying to operate the so-called-high-tech digital thermostat (which she hates now...haha). I hope it will work. And she will save everyone from the sejukkk.....well done mama!

H

Faith

Before Hardy and i got married, he mentioned that one day, he dreams of going to Mecca with me.

Today's Hardy's final day of working in Riyadh. the original plan was for him to come back straight from Riyadh. but he decided to take make a change to his original plans, take a detour to Jeddah and from there, go to Mecca to perform his Umrah. so he'll be coming home a day later, on Friday.

Excited, thrilled, glad, happy, thankful that he got this chance. but at the same time, me being me, i worry. i remembered asking him "how are you gonna get to mekkah?" he said "i'll find my way around, get on a bus, or a cab or something, dont worry". those words made me worry even more, since there wasnt any proper, solid arrangements. he saw me frowning and said, "i'll ask them (his friends in Riyadh) to arrange and help me, shouldnt be any problem, i'm sure there's tonnes of people heading the same direction". i then straight away said "you know, one of my relative went to mekkah and didnt come back!". Hardy being Hardy, he continued teasing me.

I called up my cousin, who works a lot in Saudi and knows his way around there to help me out. almost crying out to him telling that i was worried. as kind and as generous of a person that he always is, he offered Hardy help and send out some of his contacts. comforting. 60% relieved. as usual with our telephone conversations, we laughed and joked about it but his last words hit me. it hit me home. before we ended the phone conversation, he said " Za, jangan risau, Hardy nak buat benda baik, Tuhan sentiasa lindung orang yang nak buat benda baik."

Thank god we were on the phone, if he was to be right infront of me, i wouldnt know where to put myself, duck my head or probably hide under the table. i felt embarrased. for not remembering Him. it made me realize more that we should remember Him, always have faith in Him, as He knows what's best and will always show us the way. how could i ever doubt Him. and why must i worry too much!

I was privillaged. i performed my Umrah when i was 18. there were 3 families, my uncle's, the Ajibs and my family. i wasnt ready back then. not to mention the flights we had to endure before we finally get there (LHR-KL-JB-KL-JED), all in 2 days. i didnt take it seriously. i didnt grab the opportunity with both my two hands, with my soul and full heartedly. back then, i enjoyed shopping in Mecca more, back then i enjoyed looking at the camels more, back then i enjoyed the food more. how silly. but i rememberd my experience. it was only towards the end of it all that i felt close to Him. how i wish i can be with my husband, making the most of Umrah now that i'm wiser. i hope we get to go there again, as a family.

1 week without Hardy. 1 week handling Aidan alone (i wonder how those single parents do it sometimes), 1 week of no serious cooking (my neighbour John said i lost weight!), 1 week of going to bed at half past 10, no later, 1 week of handling errands myself with Aidan tagging along (sending car for repairs, groceries, monthly trip for Aidan's check ups, going to post office etc), and most importantly, 1 week of some serious bonding with Aidan.

What this had done to me was i've bonded more with Aidan. i feel like i love him even more. he's my best friend, my son, my pride and my joy, my son and of course the reason for my backaches, but still i love him more and more. and lately, when we're alone, i cry when he smiles back, i cry when he kisses me, i cry when i look at him sleeping, i cry when he calls out pa-pa-pa-pa.

But despite my cengeng-ness, i'm much calmer, i can handle things my own, i'm a little bit more independent, i dare to drive long distance without Hardy, i have more faith in myself, and i'm making more with what i have. i guess there's a reason for everything. perhaps its about time i should be more confident, perhaps its about time i bond more with Aidan.

2 more days. just 2 more days till Hardy comes home! insyaallah, his dreams of going to Mecca will come true tomorrow. and his dreams of going to Mecca with me will come true one day.

What i prayed for in Mecca some 12 years ago came true. thought he'd never come. took slightly longer though, but it came true! alhamdulillah. (H, if you're reading this before you leave, have a safe journey, make the best of it, we love and we miss you loads, and cant wait for you to come home).

Thank you A.Yob, thank you so so much for all your help and assistance. we love and we miss everyone back home.


Z

Lost Without You

I did it! i drove to Eindhoven without Hardy sitting next to me for the very first time. my first time driving out of town, long distance, on a highway! after worrying for quite sometime on my first ever long distance drive in the NL, i finally did it! (Sittard to Eindhoven Airport slightly over an hour's drive)

Hardy left for Riyadh yesterday early in the morning, 6.30 am to be exact. and i sobbed like a kid. the taxi came right on the dot. he's away for a whole week. this is actually the first time he's gone for such a long period of time. the most was 3 days, 2 nights. i can sense there's plenty of long trips yet to come. its not that i'm not happy he got this chance to shine, i am, i trully am. its just that i'm gonna miss him oh-so-so much.

For the past one month, we have had the pleasure of the company of my nephew (my cousin's 20 year old son), Faizal. he's currently on his well deserved europe tour (i will write more on him and include some photos in my next posts). and yesterday, we had to say goodbye to him as well, as he was on his next destination - Dublin.

And since Hardy's away, who else is to send Faizal to the airport? he can take the train, of course, but i didnt have the heart to let him be by his own, on the train. i know it'll do him good in gaining his confidence etc but i want to make sure he gets there safe, cheked in and everything. i remembered telling Hardy "i cant, i cant, i cant drive to Eindhoven" in the beginning, and i remembered Hardy telling me "of course you can!" i dont know why i was so afraid. perhaps it was due to the 2 'incidents' i had prior to this, not to mention its left hand drive here, and the fact that our car is a very long one. i doubt myself easily and quite frequently when it comes to driving.

With the help of our Ms. Navigation in the car, i found my way to the airport. it is so so reliable to have one. we travel a lot as a family, and for work (for Hardy). having such system in the car has made travelling much more enjoyable (i dont have to flip through those maps), stress free (no arguing who's right or wrong), and informative as well (learning the shortest route, as well as the detour). we simply cant make it without them! our car's navigation system covers only the Benelux Countries. its simply not enough if we plan to travel beyond Benelux. and so we bought our TomTom early last year.

We've travelled quite a bit for the past year. seriously we did some serious travelling.. and this thing is simply amazing! how modern technology can simplify your journey, your life!

What would i do without you? i'd certainly be lost without you... that's for sure.

2 goodbyes in 1 day, what a weekend! but i did it! i drove back home with Aidan at the back. reached home and straight away thanked God that it was a safe ride. took Aidan out of his car seat and gave him a big huge hug. might be nothing for some of you lot, but this has certainly boost up another 5% of my confidence level!

And since we're on the topic of "lost", here's our current favourite song for winter. enjoy!

To Papa:

It was a beautiful day today. almost like spring! we went to the park and fed the ducks today! and mama brought me to the playground where i met 2 girls, they were twins! they kept saying i was "lief". we miss you lots and cant wait for you to come home.

From Aidan.

Z

2008

Hardy warned me of 2008. he warned me that he'll be taking up a new role at work. he warned me that he'll be doing a lot of travelling. he warned me that there will be lots of adjustments at work. he warned me that there will be times when i have to deal with things myself, make decisions on my own, run errands without him.

I am not really that independent girl sometimes. or maybe cause i just want to do things with him around? maybe i simply love his company too much and want him to be by my side? ok.. ok... so i am not that independent... and now, 2008 is here.

This is by no means my new years resolution. i dont make them, never in fact. they can be very unrealistic some times. i reckon these are real, besides, this is something i should be doing, all year round...

I hereby announce that i will try my outmost best to:
be much more independent (like driving Faizal to Eindhoven Airport this Saturday, just Aidan and me), i will be calmer (tak cepat melenting), i'll be confident of myself (confident enough to sell of my crafts), i'll be less gullible (they always fool me! them to blame partly!), i'll drive safelier (after having had 2 scratches on the car. but hey! left hand drive and a car of 5 mtrs long, takes time ok!), hope i'll manage the house better (like ironing Hardy's office shirts at least 5 of them in 3 days!), i'll be less cengeng and be stronger (by not worrying and crying when hardy says he has to go to some country for a week), less dwelling (5-15 mins is enough) , be smarter (think smart and not let other people step on me), be able to say "NO" when i should (like when someone wants to sell you something that you dont really need), eat healthy (will have to cut down on rice and those bloody good potatoes!), look better (no more going out when hair's wet, but at least i put on some make up and gloss! ), and not to mention manage our finances better this year.

I just hope 2008 will bring more exciting days, happy times, plenty of good adventures, good holidays, good health for all, loads of fond memories together, more good deeds to others, be even more thankful and grateful to God, be as green as we can to protect the environment, smile more and love more!

Its just 9 days into 2008 and Hardy's already in Lyon, France. and starting this weekend he'll be away for the whole week. i know i should get used to this by now. afterall, we know of this even before coming here that he'll have to travel. oh... come on zaza, you can do it...

Z

Healthy, Happy New Year!

First of all, allow me to say how sorry i am for not being able to reply to each and every one of your comments. it was a hectic winter break, good but how we wished the bug didnt get to us. almost all got the bug - norovirus. the virus swept most of the people in the UK. some (my sister Fifi, my brother in law Redza and their 6 month old baby Ferran) and now Hardy are still suffering from it. i seriously hope and pray everyone will be back on their feet again, up and running very soon.

Aidan's well now. the nasty chesty cough is still there, but he's improving, back being his bubbly self.

Secondly, allow me to thank each and every single one of you for your kind thoughts, wishes, prayers and kind words. i am so deeply touched. thank you guys, its really nice and very comforting to know that we have such friends in this world. you've touched us.

Thirdly, i hope it's not too late. we'd like to wish ALL of you a VERY HEALTHY, HAPPY (and hopefully wealthy too.. hehe) NEW YEAR 2008!! Hope you like what Aidan and I drew on New Year's Day. sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, we wish all of you all the good things, all the love, all the happiness and good health in 2008.

Love,

Zaza, Hardy & Aidan

(tonnes to write and share! will get this blog moving for 2008!)

Get Well Aidan

We're currently in the UK for our winter break. we enjoyed the boxing day sale but unfortunately we're down with some kind of bug. Hardy was down first, and then i was down almost the whole day, and then it hit Aidan.

It is seriously worrying to see your son down. he's having fever, temp of 39.5c, very chesty cough, running nose and diarrhea. extremely clingy, he wants Hardy most of the time, no appetite and whines a lot. very unlike him. i suspect this could be his last stage of teething, or it could be simply the winter bug. he now sleeps on the bed with us, hopefully it'll help. but despite feeling sick, he can still laugh and play. but still.... we are worried, i am still worried sick. this is actually the first time he'd ever been sick like this.

We brought him to Warwick Hospital's A&E last night as his tempreture went up again and got him some new meds. no infection, just a virus, hopefully, he'll get better very very soon, before our journey back to NL.

I have been worrying and crying and not to mention had very little sleep. and at times like this, it made me realize more that money is not everything, health is. and at times like this, your partner needs to be as strong and calm if not, even stronger and calmer. at times like this, you really need to pull yourslf together, for the sake of the child. at times like this, nothing is more important, no sale is worth going, no place you'd rather be than to be with your son.

Get well soon Aidan. i love you very very much.


Z

To Leon & Marianka

Having been in this country for 2 years now, we are very fortunate and blessed to have known good people who then became good friends. but there's 2 of them that we cant personally send them a card, or wish them our warmest geetings and give them a big hug because they're currently in a different continent (you're missing the good frost here guys!).

2 wonderful people, a handsome couple - LEON & MARIANKA.

Since we cant send you any cards, since you guys are busy travelling asia and enjoying each other's company and creating fond, special memories together, here's a wish for you both, a MERRY CHRISTMAS filled with lots and lots of love and warm wishes.

Enjoy your holidays and we hope to see you guys when you're back. sending you all our love, lots of hugs and kisses!!

Here Comes The Tree

It is honestly, the most festive and wonderful time of the year. although we dont celebrate christmas but we can actually 'feel' the mood that everyone's in. its wonderful to see lights all lighted at most houses and shops. i was in Geleen when they put up their tree at the square. no fuss, no mess, it was done very quick and efficiently. the police escorted the trailer to the town and everybody stood there in the cold to watch 8 men putting up the big huge tree.





Almost every cities will have their christmas tree at their squares, complete with lights and decorations. we're talking about huge, big, massive trees! just look at the size of this one!

See! told you it was a big one!

Where? there, where the logs are. how? well, i was as puzzled myself! they put it in the manhole! cleaver bunch of people!

Look! a flying tree!!

Slowly... easy does it! and by this time, my ears were frozen, fingers were numb and legs were so stiff. mind you it took almost an hour and a half for the tree to reach its final destination, upright and standing tall from the begining of the road.

Tadaaa!!! the smell was simply breathtaking. the tree smells really really gorgeous, foresty nice kind of smell. the tree is now lighted and enjoyed by the residents and visitors of Geleen.

Z

Here Comes The Frost

We have been waking up to frosty mornings for almost a week. tempreature below freezing, a high of 0 celcius to -2 celcius during the day. it's been really REALLY cold. the thing about winter is, you dont feel like going out at all! home is definitely the best place to be during this time of the year. all warmed up, enjoying suchard hot cocoa, thick wooly socks, wrapping ourselves with fleeces, and eating warm meals...

This was our back garden, taken a few mins ago.

Cold means dry skin. putting the heater on keeps us warm but what it does is, it sucks all our moisture from our skin. but i'm all stocked up with creams and oils. and this is just december! winter will peak in january and i should think that is when it will probably snow.

We now have to put the car in the garage otherwise we'd have to scrap off all the frost. and the first thing i put on when i'm in the car is our butt warmers! ;) helps to have one in your car!

We now take an extra 10 mins dressing up, wrapping ourselves up with layers and layers. especially Aidan. i'll make sure i'll bundle him up, make him all puffed up! but he's doesnt seem to like his gloves! a little bit of a problem for me when bringing him out. but hopefully he'll see (and feel) why he needs to have his gloves on.

If you're in a tropical country, enjoy the sun! and if you're somewhere this part of the world, do wrap yourselves warm this winter!

Z

A Dutch Tradition (and slightly a late edition from me)

It is now december, it is now very cold, christmas lights are up, shops are busy this time around, trees are very well lighted, christmas markets are on, parades welcoming christmas are well underway, christmas cards are almost out... but here, in the netherlands, december means sinterklass and christmas.

Anyway, i know this is late news. as sinterklass was almost a couple of weeks back. but here's just to share, on the dutch tradition.

Every eve of 5th of december, children look forward to opening their gifts. no, not quite christmas, but yes, its Sinterklass. Sinterklass or Saint Nicolaas, is a tradition in the Netherlands (and certain parts of Europe) where kids will get to unwrap their surprises from the sint (like santa claus). the sint arrives the kids get 2 bites at the annual presents! lucky them!

Sinterklass traditionally arrives from spain, by a steamboat. he wears a red long robe and with a tall hat. a little bit more religious than santa claus. he will visit everyone with parades welcoming him and his helpers zwart piet (black piet). zwart piet will throw tiny round cookies to the children.

And what they normally do is, kids will put carrots or apples in their shoe near their chimney (should they have one), or in the living room for zwarte piet to take. . they will then place presents for the kids in return. its really nice to learn of other tradition.

Our friend Mush writes well on siterklass (you'd probably have to scroll down a bit). you can either read her take on it here or click here, to learn more on sinterklass.

Aidan brought home some presents from school and they made him a hat as well. piet's hat. we would certainly want aidan to learn and respect other traditon and cultures. and its really nice to see kids happy smiling away, and parents creating memories for them to remember by.

Z

A Different Phase, A scarry Place!

I've noticed different behavior patters of Aidan. when he wants things, when he's distresss, when he's angry and hungry, when he's happy, moody.. theres a reaction and with it comes a certain look on his face.

He sometimes gets upset when he doesnt get what he wants, he'll make his "ah" sounds indicating what he wants, while holding out his right hand. i repeatedly said to him, if you want something, "ah" is not the word. say "please". i know its way too soon for him to actually say the actual word but something of that sort would be fine too (in other words, apart from "ah").

(this was his face showing off his teeth, not when he's upset, didnt have the camera with me when he's upset)

After giving him the plastic bottle he wanted, he then left me for his space, fiddling with it, trying to put the cover back on. i then sat on the sofa, while resting my back and observed.




"My god, this is it".... i thought to myself. the period of taking care is over, it is now how we bring him up. it is now all about upbringing.


Dont get me wrong, taking care is not over completely. it will never be over eventhough after they are married and moved out of the country (for some). you'd still have to take care of them, in many many other ways. you still do take care of them now but now i suppose, lesser. they no longer just milk, burp and poo. they have those tiny little feet that walks around the house and climb the stairs, they have that tiny little hands that picks up even the itsy-est bit of dust, they would react and respond. no more just feeding them, cleaning them and burping them. now it includes chasing, explaining and reasoning.


Little that i know that we have entered "the next phase". one scarry place!! we would want him to have certain values, manners at the same time, be himself. the daunting bit now starts and i am adjusting my tone of voice, my manners, my actions, EVERYTHING!




And i have also noticed the need to incoporate routine - after meals, take the plate to the sink, wash your hands, wash your month, wipe your hands, wipe your mouth. and before going to bed, wash your face, brush your teeth, not to mention the use of words such as dank u well (thank you), together with alstublief (please).




We decided not to use the word "no" that often to him but use other phrases instead. "no" is much much easier to say, one syllable! but it will create a lot of "whys" later on. so, in order to prevent having to explain a lot of "whys" later, we'd better cut down on our "nos". have to be rajin a bit lah! i'm getting there..


Come to think of it, it's scarry. it is now how we bring him up. Bringing Up Aidan. Bringing up our son Aidan.

Roots and Wings

Its back to being just the 3 of us now. and now Hardy is at work, i'm at home alone with Aidan now napping before going to school for half a day. mum and dad had left for the UK to my sister's last saturday morning. i sobbed uncontrollably as soon as we got home from the airport. the house now seems too big for us. i miss them both. i miss their voices, i miss the noises, i miss going out with them, i miss the smell of dad's cooking, i miss going to the craft shops with mum, miss going to the chippy every tuesday afternoon, i miss them playing with Aidan, i miss Aidan's laugh laughing at them, miss saying good night and good morning to them... but most of all, i miss having conversations with them on the dining table.

Eversince i was young, we have always had good conversations during our meals. the advices, the lectures, the gossips, the examples, the laughs. sometimes the best advise given to us are by our own parents, without you realizing it.

The topic of camping came up one fine evening, while we were having dinner. Hardy mentioned he wants to take Aidan to the woods (a real forest) for a camping trip when our son's bigger, it'll be a thrill - he claimed. i struggled to see his point. being a person who has never gone camping, and a person who watches too many scarry tv programmes, i tried compromising by saying i'd be more than happy to make our back garden a forest for the 2 of them, i'll plant some big plants and play voices of the earth cd and make a huge tent, i'll cook dinner and they can place them on the bonfire... they can camp outside! i'll be happy.

Apprently that's not Hardy's idea of camping. that's not his idea of survival. his idea of camping is to pee and poo in the woods, use leaves to wipe their bums, eat whatever they can find in the jungle, get bitten by nyamoks and god knows whatever bugs out there, not sleep comfortably on a matress, sleep next to some creepy crawlies which they might probably not know of their names, be on the lookout for animals... and god knows whatever else...

Being an ex RMC boy, dad agreed on going camping. we exchanged laughs and they listened to me reasoning out. and then he said:

"Adik, as parents, you'd want to give your children roots and wings. strong roots so that he'll be stable. and wings for them to be free and fly experiencing the world. one day you will have to let him go and let him do his things."

I cant imagine letting my son fly. i cant even bare to be apart from him for one night, let alone see him fly and see the world, or get married for that matter! i then conclude and come to terms with the issue of bringing Aidan camping - it all boils down to roots. it is therefore really important to have such good roots. good solid roots so that when he flies, you will feel confident and rest assured and hopefully he'll have roots to fall back onto.

Thanks dad, thank you mum for giving us solid roots and strong wings. we miss you both very much and cant wait to see you for christmas!

Z