Bringing Up An Aidan And Living Holland

A Little Something at THE END

2010-05-08T08:15:00.009+02:00

Before i even begin, i must thank you all for all the comments and emails regarding my last post. i want you to know that i have read them but i just havent had the chance to reply to each individual comments and emails. i am humbled by your generosity with words and also moved by some of your comments and emails. i thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart!

In case you're wondering why i have been so quiet, well, we are all doing good. everyone's healthy and happy, we're just a bit busy. busy living life! we did quite a bit of travelling lately, from the middle east, to asia and within europe itself. i needed some time to just enjoy the moment, digest without documenting every step of our journey (although i did pen it down!).

Life's been absolutely amazing for us. we've got too much to be thankful for. sometimes we forget that. and sometimes we need an extra nudge from someone or something that we saw during our visits to make us realize how lucky we are.

The past couple of months flew by really fast. i've learnt and experienced a lot. felt touched by a lot of people. its been overwhelming and like always, i managed to sit on my favorite seat with a hot drink in my hand and take them all in.

I've realized now my motherhood stage has entered a different level. as i lay down in bed watching him sleep next to me, i cannot believe that he has grown into a responsible boy and how far we've come since his birth. how he loves to help with almost everything, how he comforts me when i'm sad and looked worried, how he reasons things out, how he negotiates with me and how lovely it is to be kissed and be told that he loves me without having to ask! how he is grateful for all the things he gets and thanking me each day. it's been rewarding. absolutely rewarding watching a child grow, my son grow.

Colleagues now have a different meaning to us. last monday was just so special beyond words for both hardy and i. it doesnt matter how many friends you have in this world, it is the type of friends that you have. we are extremely lucky to get to know and be friends with some of the nicest, sincerest people here. the support and friendship means the world to us. i think, for both hardy and i, we love to give. i feel content everytime i give, from love, time, knowledge to material things. personally i think giving (without expecting anything in return!!) is much more than receiving. we're so used to giving till we forget how it feels to be at the receiving end! and last monday, hardy was at the receiving end. i was touched and couldnt be prouder. and hardy was totally chuffed. he was absolutely chuffed. you see, each of us carry our own stories of how we get to the point that we are in now. not everyone knows the whole entire story. we carry them ourselves with hope, faith and strength to where ever we go. and to hear other people are aware of the sacrifices he has made, we both have made, acknowledgements and the words "thank you" somewhere along the way after all the hardship, sacrifices and all the hard work made it all worth the ride. it truly is fulfilling. last monday's dinner was really something!

Anyway, i thought i might share a little something... for the last time.

A little something about LOVE

Love is something everybody has. love is a powerful, very powerful tool.

On a rather personal side, like most people, i've been hurt before. and i got hurt bad. really bad. i went through quite a bit during those years. i was being looked down in more than just one way by others. those who know me well knows what i've been through and what i had to put up with towards the end of it. but after all that dramas, i'm grateful it has brought me to hardy. love shouldnt be complicated. love is so simple. and we made it simple and sincere.

In relationships, i think the most important thing is we love each other for what we are and what we can be and achieve. not what we have on paper or what type of house we grew up in, backgrounds we have. we respect and love each others parents and family. its important to love what we're doing. what we do, love our jobs (let it be a housewife to the highest position in the corporate world you can ever think of!), do it for love and everything seems very much lighter! love the company that we're in, the people that we hang out with, love the company that you work for, love the people living, standing next to you, even if they're perfect strangers!

"Spread love everywhere you go. first of all in your own house. give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next door neighbour... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. be the living expression of God's kindness. kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in yor warm greeting." - Mother Theresa.

A little something about HOPE

There will be once or twice in our life when we might question or even doubt yourself. there was this one time, at one point of my life, i felt that everything was drifting away. but then i realized that if you lose hope, you somehow will lose that vitality that keeps life moving. you'll not just be losing hope, you will lose courage as well. hope is something you hang on to. i now believe that everything will be ok at the end. if its not ok, its not the end. and if you dont get it, well, you might get something better! and i remember reading this once somewhere- when the catterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.

"The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. and the most you can do is live inside that hope. not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." Barbara Kingsolver.

A little something about STRENGTH

There will be one part of your life, where He would really test your level of patience, your level of maturity, your faith and everything else you have in you. there'll be rough patches, tough rides. God knows what we've been through and how we went through it to get here. for me and hardy, i must say it wasnt plain sailing all the way. but we've manged somehow to sail slowly and gently with great strength to overcome them. from getting a house here in a foreign land after just 4 months of living here, renovating the house to make it our home (and what happened inbetween that), our experience with certain dutch doctors during Aidan's delivery and during his first year... to our everyday problems let it be at work or with other people, friends and families. we've all been on some kind of a bumpy ride.

I suffered post natal depression after i delivered Aidan. and trust me, it was one hell of tough period for both hardy and i. but we somehow we managed to turn those wounds to wisdom.

Strength does not come from winning. your struggles develop your strenghts. when you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. nothing is so gentle as real strength." Frances de Sales

A little something about FAITH

Faith helps us approach life with a sense of possibility rather than foreboding or helplessness. it dares us to imagine what we might be capable of. it enables us to reach for what we dont yet know with a measre of courage. it gives us resilience in times of difficulty.

My own faith has taught me that whatever disappointments i might meet, i can try again and trust again and love again.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. nothing can be done without hope and confidence" Helen Keller.

A little something about GRATITUDE

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands. because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy. because we will always want to have something else or something more.

I thank every opportunity i get. i thank everything around me, even when life throw you lemons sometimes. i even thanked those lemons!!

I thank Him.

I am grateful for love, and i am grateful for my life. i'm so grateful for everything that has happened to me. if not for each and every one of them, i wouldnt be where i am now and what i am today.

I guess my point is, if you ever ever feel down in whatever sense, not loved, no hope, you just HAVE to love yourself, have faith in your abilities, efforts and talents, find the strength to pick yourself back up again and start walking and when you've finally made it, when you've started walking or even running, i hope you'll smile at all those events that has happened and be thankful that it happened.

It might be tough in the beginning, but trust me, it will get better.

There is absolutely no point of being angry (although for me sometimes it helped! but the faster you cool down the more rational you'll be and be grateful for it!), no point in asking "whys" again and again, no point in dwelling (five to ten mins of dwelling is enough! oh well... ok, maybe ten!), no point of being jealous of someone who has more, no point of having ill feelings no matter what that other person did to us. simply no point at all!

Just be thankful you're still breathing!

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."John F Kennedy

****

They say every good things must come to an end. well, this is one of them. through my blogs and what i write, i have gotten to know loads and loads of people, have tremendous support and encouragement. i've made friends from all over, have met and known some trully remarkable women and those friendships will last forever, i'm certain of that.

No, i havent run out of steam. i'm just going to move to something (and perhaps somewhere) better. i wont stop writing, that's for sure.

This is a start. a beginning to many many new and exciting things. i've thought long and hard. this is the end to me blogging, but it is the beginning to a new book with new stories and adventures. i know i've promised you to write my takes on our travels. i will write on them, perhaps not just in here. i trully am sorry if you have waited. i will work on it, in fact. i am so looking forward to it. looking forward to write my very own book.

I wish you all the good things in life. thank you for everything. for your time, your kind words, your friendship, your comments. you have made me smile, cry, laugh and you have made me a better person, i thank you.

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. happiness is the spirital experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

As always, all the very best wishes, and all the love and happiness to you, my fellow virtual friends...

Zaza

Tot Ziens

Finding, Giving, Living and Loving

2009-11-16T16:26:00.002+01:00

Sharing some of our precious time together (i'm sure my sister would share her side of their lovely time spent together if she has the time to even put her feet up!). our one fine day at the park near our home.

with one of my favourite country singers, Alison Krauss in the background singing one of the most beautiful songs - a simple love.

I cant begin to tell you how much a family life means to me. i dont think i'm made for the corporate world, working behind a desk nor am i made for a lavish lifestyle. i think i'm simply made to nurture and i am trully grateful for the opportunity to be a full time mother and a wife. we all want wealth, yes. but we must not forget about wanting good health, good balance between work and family, a good mind to think, a good heart, alongside all other little details that we often forget - happiness, tranquility and be at ease with everything and everyone around you. i've always stressed the importance of having a balance life, where you can reach that level where you and your partner/family are comfortable leading your own life, how you want it to be, shaping your future together, no matter where you are and how much you have in your pockets with happiness in your hands. it is important.

Yes, i acknowledge, some people are luckier than others. but the key is never ever compare yourself with someone who has more than what you have. compare yourselves with someone who has less than what you have. that way, you can be grateful for the tiniest littlest things!

Our family is everything to us. they mean the absolute world. i'm extremely lucky to have both my parents come and visit me quite regularly here in holland. i am very lucky indeed. its not just their company, its their advise, its the love, its the support and the understanding that i have been getting from them when they're here that means a huge deal to me.

Little little things matter to me. a walk in the park, feeding the ducks mean so much. having that extra snuggling time in bed on saturdays and sundays just me and my boys, the 3 of us means a lot. watching aidan in hardy's arms and us, walking hand in hand means the absolute world. we often miss those little details. i sometimes forget myself, especially when housework is pilling up, ideas on what to craft comes in mind.. but thankfully, there's always someone to support me (by helping with some of the chores!), and remind me (by pinching and telling me that i've been slacking!)

I wish to give my parents everything for what they've given me and my sister. if i may be brutally honest, here's how i'd put it- i see the need to "save" my parents from the "hustle and bustle, the backstabbing, the snubbing, the scolding, the accusing" of being in malaysia. when we went back to malaysia for a month last summer, the "dramas" and all began as soon as i sat foot at my parent's new home, i heard and saw what they had to go through, i felt really sad for them. they do not deserve it. at this age, all i want is for them to be happy, healthy and enjoying life.

We've gone through quite a bit, my family and i. mum and dad mostly (hardy has his own stories to tell, but yeah..) we've gone through different "dramas" many, many times before. i think we got better and better in handling the situation. we cant change others, so there is no point of prolonging the issue and pointing fingers. we focus on what we have now in our hands and use that to make us happy. i'm glad i'm able to see mum and dad happy here, at this part of the world with us, where both their grandsons are. my sister and i are grateful beyond words.

At times, it can get a little off balance too! but it certainly helps to have your other half reminding you once in a while! Most people dont believe this, but everything in this world is enough for everyone. you choose your paths. you choose which door to open and then you make your journey. i trully utterly hope everyone (including us) would find some balance in their lives and have plenty of love to give.

A whole new journey awaits. its been a pretty crazy but exciting month for hardy and i. very very grateful and thankful for such opportunities. i hope that we wont lose that balance and love and be really thankful with what we have wherever we are. i wish to give more as well. more love, and more happiness, more balance wherever we may be.

Lets all find the balance, give love and living our lives happy...

The Move

2009-11-09T13:27:00.002+01:00

Last couple of weeks have been a very very emotional week for me. its been pretty full on. a whole lot of thinking, discussions, planning and weighing... and so we decided to drive france for the week last week, just for a short get-away.

Apart from what we're going through, remember my next door neighbour John and Angelie? well, they've finally sold their house after 30 years. the 1st of this month, they said their goodbyes to their beloved house and the beautiful neighbourhood.

The neighbourhood is what made us bought our current house. an open space in front of our house, a small community football stadium nearby, a lake walking distance, a playgroud and of course the quietness and the friendliness of most the neighbours.

It was what John wanted before he passed away last christmas - to move his workshop, garage and home all at one place. their new home is absolutely gorgeous, everything's new and plenty of space.

The whole family's been absolutely wonderful to us. more than wonderful in fact. i love them with all my heart. they've been an incredible support to us and we have so much love for them. it was very very sad to see them leave. leaving behind lots of memories but i'm very sure that there's plenty of good things to come for them.

The last day before they handed the keys over, i managed to take some shots of their house. i promised angelie i'll make a photobook for her. that house means a lot to her and the boys. i'm thrilled she's fond of the idea. we said our goodbyes and angelie being angelie, always showers us with gifts. she came over with beautiful arrangement of lilies for us. i cried as she drove off pass our house that evening...

Its not the same anymore. i know i shouldnt dwell on it too much but i miss having their cars next door, i miss hearing aidan run towards the window to waive at angelie and the boys everytime they pass by... i miss having chats in between our compounds... i suppose i need to get used to it, and move on!

Change sometimes can be hard. a move is a big thing. especially for someone like me, a sentimental softy. for some, its difficult to let go of things, especially when you dont know what's on the other side (yet). for some others, it'll be thrilling, a whole new adventure. there'll be a lot of concerns, too many questions that needs answering and experiencing. your gut feeling must be a good one, just like before we decided to purchase our home here (eventhough it was a very very old house with tonnes to do, but it felt so good and so right). its best to put both feet on the ground and try not to think too much on the rewards and remunerations (although it looks bloody good) while we pen down important thoughts and concerns to bring forward, weigh every possibility, the plus and the minuses and plan on how we would like to live our lives with the changes. i mumble too much...

Anyway, John would have been so proud of his family. he must be smiling now.

I pray for the best, for them and for us all.

Its lovely to be back at home, our sweet home after one whole week in france. washing's all done and now i'm left with loads of ironing.

p.s: thank you SO much for the love and lovely loving wishes for us and especially for aidan. sending you all our love, always..

Dear Aidan

2009-10-21T00:06:00.001+02:00

21st September 2009

I love you with all my heart.

I adore you and everything that you say and do.

I am in awe of you.

I am ever so proud of you.

You make me smile, beam with pride with everything you do, how you play and sing, and how you think.

I am the luckiest person to be given this responsibility.

You are loved tremendously, with all my heart.

You have grown in me and with me.

I believe in you and your endless possibilities. dream big and reach for the stars. you can be absolutely anything and i wish only the best and all the good things for you.

********

When passing a cake shop/bakery a week before your birthday 21st September 2009, close to 6pm.

You said to me, "mama, we ga naar daar" (in your broken dutch pointing to the bakery with one hand while holding my hand on the other.)

I then replied, "the shop's closing aidan its almost 6, we'll go in some other time k? lets just

look from the window to see what they've got"

We moved to the window and gazed at each cake in slow motion...

"mama, ni cake aidan?" (you asked me in your mengechek tone)

I then said, "tak... bukan..."

After a long pause, you then leaned against the window and pointed at the other one.

"yang ni?" (hoping i'd say yes, that's the one)

"pon bukan. its a sample cake. it belongs to the shop"

You then took another step closer to the 3rd cake.. (there were more than 8 along the window!)

"kijk mama, dora!............ ni cake aidan?"

"aidan nak cake?" (silly mama for asking!)

"nak!?!" (you looked up to me full with hope)

"do you want me to bake one for you?" (i planned to make you one, i even bought a special tray for it!)

"aidan nak yang ni.....nak yang ni please....." (you pointed at the cake on the truck in a very very slow and sad voice)

"ok.. we'll get you a cake next week for your birthday k?"

The next day when you were at school, i went to the cake shop and ordered the one that you wanted. it was that cake ontop of a long truck with cars underneath. it costs 40 euros. 5 days later we then went to pick up the cake. just you and i. and the expression on your face was priceless when you saw your cake all ready with your name on it. your eyes lit up and i could see all your teeth when you looked up and smiled at me.

We headed to the car, happily. I opened the door for you and you hopped onto your seat. i then put on your seatbelt and you grabbed my hand and clutched and hugged it and said "sayang mama". and of course i then cried kissing your forehead. i'd do and pay anything to make you happy (within my means of course!).

Hope you've enjoyed your parties. we know you enjoyed blowing the candles on your cake and playing with the truck. we really enjoyed your cake! thank you for making me the happiest and luckiest mother to have you in her life.

Happy 3rd Birthday Aidan. no words can express how much i love and adore you. let's live now and look forward to many many good, happy, exciting and meaningful birthdays to come!

I love you with all my heart, (and so does papa!)

mama xxx

Weddings

2009-08-30T15:31:00.018+02:00

There's just something about weddings. we planned our trip back to malaysia specially in time for one special wedding -my cousin's. i miss weddings. i miss the "kecohness", the voices of so many people getting involved with everything, i miss coming up with ideas for favors and such, i miss the smell of fresh flowers and new carpets.. i miss helping, i miss them all. although it can be a little bit too much at times, with wedding invites almost every week especially during school holidays (if you're back home). but after not attending a malay wedding for 4 years, you tend to miss it. it was certainly nice to be part of one. so just imagine how excited i was!

It was also our son's first malay wedding experience! a chance for him to meet everyone. i was very, VERY excited for him! we have loved meeting EVERYONE at the wedding. it was just a nice feeling to get to meet everyone again, the hugs and kisses, sharing a giggle and some laughters.. made it all worth it. it made me feel loved, very much loved.

The mother of the bride helped us a lot during our wedding. she really did. her presense, her laughter, her effort, her time, her smiles and her support meant a lot to me, my sister and most of all my mum. i've enjoyed the build up to my wedding so much thanks to her and the rest of the gang! i can never repay what she and the others did but will always be thankful for their neverending love and concern and help during that time. in fact, i've enjoyed the pre wedding days more than the wedding reception itself (although my nikah day was something really special!).

My cousin's wedding was a beautiful one. a wedding every girl would dream of! it was full of fresh flowers, you can even smell them from the road, the food was excellent, the crowd was a cheerful and happy one, the bridesmaids looked stunning in their dresses and the bride looked absolutely amazing, and most importantly, everyone was happy. any newlyweds would be lucky to have all these..

*****

Weddings- they can either bring people together, much closer then before, or in rare cases, they can pull you apart.

Weddings- you can really see people's true colours..

One example, just one example- mine. my wedding. it had brought one person closer to our family. and those close friends and familes got closer. and sometimes, it doesnt really go your way. you cant have it all. there will bound to be "kecik hati" and "merajuks".. some will not show their actions/reactions but some will.

My mother has never cried how she cried that day on my reception day. she didnt deserve it, and neither did i. but i suppose elders being elders, we'd still have to respect them. how did we deal with it? we just think of all the others who love and care about us, and concentrate on being happy with what we have, at that every moment. and who helped us during that time? these wonderful warm loving, sincere people, some whom are friends but i'm ever so proud to call them family...

I guess what i've learnt from this is sometimes with all the "kecohness", you have to just sit back and witness, appreciate and feel the love at that moment. that very moment. glad i've managed to capture some of those moments on camera! i'm really happy that my cousin's wedding went smoothly and everything went well.. we had a wonderful time with everybody and hope to be together again... soon...

I know its a long.. LONG way to go, but driving home from my cousin's beautiful union, i cant help but to think of my son's wedding. how will it be... will he get his way, or will we as parents get ours! i hope, and i really REALLY hope that he'll grow up knowing his roots, where he comes from. i hope he knows the meaning and the difference between adat and adab and most importantly i hope he respects it. both hardy and i are very sensible and practical people, i just hope it wont be too much of a headache! and like most parents, we hope and pray our kids will marry the one person, who will love him and treasure him with all her heart and they will be very happy and be blessed with all the good things in life.

Dont you just love weddings?!

After Nearly 4 Years

2009-08-11T23:05:00.000+02:00

We decided that this year would be THE year. the year we'd go back to Malaysia. Hardy and i left Malaysia almost 4 years ago, almost right after we got married. our wedding day was also the day we said goodbye to all of our family and friends. we left so many things behind.

I left Malaysia with the feeling of wanting to start a new life. completely new. a lot of things happened a couple of years prior to the wedding (and even during my wedding!). there will

always be a crowd of people that you'd want to avoid having contact with (i'm sure most of you'd share the same feeling too if you know what i had to go through), and all i wanted was to have a happy, healthy, good and balanced life with my husband and my family.

I will not speak on my husband's behalf. but like most people, we all had our past.

It was our chance. our chance to lead a new life together and so we left the country with only the good intentions (and with just a couple of suitcases). and after nearly 4 years, its time to go back home for a visit. yes of course i was all excited. i was so looking forward to eating thosai, satay and nasi dagang! but if i may be honest, i was more nervous than i was excited.

I was sad to leave our home, our comfortable, calm routine behind for 5 long weeks. i was nervous of the long flights, how will Aidan be on the plane... how would some people react towards us, will they welcome us or will they just ignore (not that we've done anything wrong!). i was nervous. happy but nervous. i didnt know what to expect (silly, i know!) but i hoped for the best.

Flight was good. it was our first time travelling with Emirates. everybody was very friendly and the inflight entertainment was first class! Aidan enjoyed himself and all of us really enjoyed the food. those beautiful stewardess all wanted to kiss Aidan but he was so shy.. only one managed to kiss him on his cheek! Aidan didnt sleep at all during our first half of the flight. we treated him to a cold icy drink at Dubai airport's starbucks during transit, and just before the plane took off to Singapore, he dozed off!

I remember crying as the plane took off from Dusseldorf. and i remember holding Hardy's hand as soon as we landed in Singapore, again crying. it was this one feeling that i just cannot describe. we left Malaysia with just a couple of suicases almost 4 years ago, and now we're back together with our son!

A lot has changed. but some havent changed even a bit. the roads have been broadened. new buildings, we also saw some old familiar shops.. still there.. and as we sat in the car with my trustable and wonderful nephew Faizal telling me all the changes in JB, in my heart, i was praying - i just hope some people have changed for the better...

We reached my parents house and that picture of them welcoming us to their new lovely home will forever be in my heart. always. both with open arms running towards us and the look on their faces was priceless. it was just way so special.

We hugged and we kissed. and then it was my turn to hug mum. she then broke down. she broke down like i have never seen before. rebah is the malay word for it. i then knew something was wrong but i also knew she was so happy to see us. a relief. i was just so happy that i was at the right place, at the right time- with my parents.

Dramas. of course we'd expect dramas and all. both our families had a few dramas going on! we had hoped it wouldnt be too much. but then again, we could only hope. how we just wish it will all end so that everybody can grow and live happy lives! i know its not that simple for some but trust me, if you want your life to be simple, it CAN be simple. during the course of 5 weeks, we had heard and come to know of so many unpleasant news- fights, arguments, sickness, divorces... some are beyond us. then it all got to me. it was a bit overwhelming. all a little bit too much. but we handled everything our way. the calm and quiet way.

The people. one of the main reasons why Malaysia is Malaysia (if you know what i mean!). i used pray wanting to have a life away from some people, after what they did to me and my parents. i guess God heard my prayers! scarry! some are still as before, ever so caring and welcoming. some have surprised me, some really moved me.. while some was just the same 'ol, same 'ol. we cant do much but to pray that they'll change for the better.

Most of our time in Malaysia was with the people that we love and care. 5 weeks on paper seems like a pretty long time. but trust me, it wasnt all that long! i didnt manage to see all my friends (hope they'd understand). but the ones that we managed to meet have left us with such a big impact (some better than others!). and so i've decided to write not just on our routes in Malaysia, but also about the people and what i've learnt from them.

pictures:

Aidan's first trip to a pasar malam in JB while holding a malaysian flag,

Aidan with his headphone watching inflight entertainment (Dusseldorf-Dubai)

Aidan was kissed! (Dubai-Singapore)

Reunied- Aidan met opa and oma- a picture of pure bliss!

Going Places!

2009-07-29T10:26:00.002+02:00

We have been going places indeed! we just love to travel! i'm ever so grateful for this opportunity, to get to see places and meet people, and open up our eyes to other cultures. there's a malay saying-"jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan" which is SO true (only if you have an open mind on things and able to accept and/or adapt!).

I pick up a lot of things when i travel. most of them touches me, some very deeply.

Recently we went back to our home country Malaysia after 4 years of being here in holland. there was never a dull moment on our malaysian trip!

Sometimes when you keep snapping photos intending to blog, you tend to get carried away and not enjoy the moment. as much as i love hearing each and every click on my camera, freezing those moments, and as much as i love writing, i always take the time to sit down and just let the moment sink in me for a bit. i shall share only the ones with stories and that has left me with great impact.

A lot of things happened when we're back. i think i've got a few to share... i've decided to go on with the blog after a very long silence. i'm going to write on how i see things, and not what others might want to read. i write not to please, nor am i here to boast. i think i'm quite done with what other people say and think! my niat is clear.

We're now back in Holland! it's SO GOOD to be home! i'm still doing some unpacking, downloading a few hundred more photo (i can honestly cry looking at every single one of them!) we're now back into our routine and enjoying some well deserved 'calmness' (if you know what i mean!)

Do take a peep once in a while! :) We'll write on our trips... my take on it.

Looking Back

2009-03-31T11:40:00.012+02:00

How often do we smile looking back at the things we've said and done? its surely nice to laugh about it sometimes. some will remain unpleasant, i must admit, but lets leave all those behind, chucked at one corner and stamped "done and dusted"!! some are happier moments.

The most important thing is to think of happy things, happy thoughts, create new beautiful memories and cherish them always!

I've been feeling nostalgic lately.. been looking at most of our old photos, photos since we got here and then i saw this one photo! and i just had to share this with you!

It was quite difficult to adjust ourselves when we first got here (or maybe it was just me.. hardy went off a flying start). the first month we learnt dutch from the supermarket! looking at everything, reading all the labels, trying to put everything all in our heads... we found some common names, some quite similar to english like rijst (rice), boter (butter) and a few others. some malay/indonesian words as well kitjap (kicap) and sate is sate, bami (mee/noodles).. it wasnt all that difficult. some were completely different - knooflook (garlic), champignon (mushroom)...

One day, hardy and i decided to try another supermarket. not the one we normally go- Albert Heijn. we went to Aldi instead. Aldi is a discount supermarket where their stuff are priced lower. they dont decorate or line the items on the shelves. they are all on pallets and in boxes.

So off we were with our trolly, to scout for some stuff and see what was new at Aldi. i saw a white clear bottle, with white liquid in them, plenty of them on the pallets, each labelled "AZIJN". i said to hardy, "ok, we need some mineral water... lets get a few"... hardy pointed to the bottles and said "ok, lets get these!" he then added 2 to our trolly and after a few steps, i turned back and said "i should drink more, ambik lebih lah!". added another 2 and off we went... paid for the stuff and went next door - to Albert Heijn.

We got some veges, eggs, bread and milk. we walked passed the aisles and saw some herbs and spices. and next to them were these clear bottles of white water, marked similar to the ones we had just bough at Aldi - AZIJN! hang on.. why didnt they place the mineral water at the drinks section? hardy then said "i think we just got ourselves 4 big bottles of vinegar!!"

Lucky we didnt drink them!

Hardy says i'm naive. i can be quite gullible sometimes. there was this one time, we bought ourselves a kebab each and stopped next to River Maas. sat in the car while enjoying the view. there were a few boats parked by the side. it had a sign. the sign said "COFFEESHOP". i saw a lot of people walking into the boat and said to hardy "this place must serve good coffee! so far more than 10 people walked into the boat dah! maybe we should go minum after this". hardy laughed and said "do you know what coffeeshop is here in holland?" well, i know that coffee shop sells coffee that's for sure!

He then puts his hand on my cheek and said "aallaaaaa sayanng!" and had this huge grin which turned into a huge giggle! coffee shop here is a place where people smoke marijuana! my eyes then went wide open and so was my mouth!!! "REALLY?!?! i didnt know!!!"

I know there's a lot of it here. i know its legal here. but i didnt know they had shops for it! so open!

Well, now i know! now, everytime when i see the shop sign "coffeeshop", i smile! i'm much smarter now you know! ;) haha... really!

I smiled... smiled looking back at all those mements and pictures. hope my son will smile at everything just as sweet as this when he looks back at all the things he said and done, later in life!

Gezellig!

2009-03-20T11:14:00.006+01:00

Hardy's closet filled with fresh, crisp shirts!

And look who's been playing with Oma's beads!!

Look who's been reading and keeping him company!

Yes, oma and opa are here! I now have a couple of loving, gentle extra pair of hands and watchful eyes!

We celebrated my dad's birthday yesterday (read here if you want to see what i did for him). and now off for a short early spring break to Mossel, Germany. here's sending you guys warm wishes, plenty of fun and laughter and tonnes of happiness. have a lovely beautiful weekend everyone!

Zaza

Understood Circumstances

2009-03-07T21:03:00.009+01:00

I've been meaning to write. and that's the truth.

It was such a roller coaster late last year and towards the beginning of this year. the 3 of us are fine and healthy. alhamdulillah. but there are just certain things that really affected me and made me think, ponder for a little while.

Its so easy to sit down and write when you're angry, upset and hurt. best is to keep a journal, and NOT an online journal where everyone can read your thoughts! it will all then be a different story and i will only generate bad karma, bad vibes and create netagivities. most people use their blogs to let go of some steam. i dont intend to do that. and so i just had to wait till i'm in the right state of mind before i start typing again. i kept myself busy in the meantime, busy with all my crafty bits, taking it up to another level insyaallah, and taking care of my family. you see, this blog is quite personal. this blog is very close to my heart. so i thought i'd better wait and heal myself first. then write. hoping it will all make sense later..

Most of us have gone through quite a bit in life. i'm not going to compete with any of you on that. my fair bit in life had taught me to hold back in a lot of things. i hold back on replying to rude remarks, i hold back when there's a confrontation. i hold back when theres a need to shout and cry. sometimes its good. sometimes its unhealthy. depends on the situation, really.

A lot of things happened recently. and i just had to hold back.

I can get affected when people dont understand our situation. petty, i know. oh well... you cant expect anything out of anyone. you see, i've been taught by a lot of situations, life situations that whenever something happens, it all happens for a reason. always. and before you blame others, take a look at yourself first, or at least the whole picture.

It is so easy to blame others, in other words, it's so easy to blame us. i just feel that one needs to look at the broader picture before one point fingers at others. one needs to know the entire full story before one could conclude what type of person the other one is. one needs to look at themselves first before blaming others. one has got to stop playing with sympathy cards and start living life, and be happy with what they have, and be happy with what others have. life is so so much than just blaming people, so that you can get away with things. life is so so much more than what happened in the past. life is what you have now, in your hands. its about living it now.

Circumstances have changed us.
We are now married.
Married isnt just living together. marriage is an institution. a sacret union between two. marriage is sharing, loving, caring, relying, trusting and everything else in between. everyone should resepct and honour and protect that. i am not just zaza. i am a wife and with that comes a lot of responsibilities as well. i've learnt some, and i will continue learning...

Circumstances have changed.
Our priorities are much different than before we were married.
We are now a family. we want and wish only the best things for our family. we want out son to grow up with values, strong values which comes from solid roots. we want him to be loved, sincere genuine love. any parent would protect their family with all their might. if one thinks we've turned dull and boring, well it's your shout. our priorities have changed. we're no longer enjoy the single life we once had. we now think of our families and our responsibilities. if that's what they call boring, i suppose we are then. but we're comfortable and happy with this pace of life. everyone moves and grows according to time.

Circumstances have changed us.
We now live here. unfortunately for some, away from them. us being here unfortunately means things will be slightly difficult for them. sadly, some are not so encouraging as others.

Circumstances have changed.
And some people just refuse to accept and respect that.

But beneathe all that, i am still me. and Hardy is still Hardy, i'm certain. i am still the girl that everyone used to know. i am still very much grounded. i am still that malay girl who wears her favourite blue tana lawn baju kurung at home doing her chores and stuff. i still speak malay to my friends, i still remember where i come from, my roots are still very strong and i intend to keep it that way. the only difference is we are now wiser and we can see what happend in the past quiet clearly now and better ourselves.

Some people have the wrong impression of me. some people blame me instead of those circumstances. i suppose i've come to terms with it. well, i dont blame them. i just sympathize with them for not knowing the whole story and refuse to take the good in everything. i am living my life. grateful and thankful with every bit that i have.

Back when i was small, i've always been taught to be "pandai pandai". mum and dad would remind me ALL the time. when someone comes to our house, make yourself useful, go to the kitchen and make them drinks. "pandai pandai" pergi dapur buat air. you dont need to be told.

Pandai pandai in english... it means... well - understood.

When something falls, pick it up, without having to be asked to. "pandai pandai" gi kutip, tak payah kena suruh.

If you see a mess in the living room, "pandai pandai" kemas. clean it up wihout having to be told to.

When you go visiting, "pandai pandai" bawak diri pergi rumah orang. behave when you're at someone else's home.

Now that i'm a wife and a mother, they'd always say "pandai pandai" jaga suami ngan Aidan. Take care of both of them..

Get where i'm heading? well, today, i've been told that not everybody knows the term and knows how to "pandai pandai". do you? ;)

I practise a lot of "pandai pandai"!! :) when i make a bowl of maggi curry for Hardy, i pandai pandai put a tissue next to it, just incase his nose gets watery!

When i see Hardy's bag downstairs and i know he wants it upstairs, i "pandai pandai" bring it upstairs for him. doing him a favour so that he doesnt have to carry it himself.

But being too overly "pandai pandai" sometimes doesnt help too! haha!! you just need to know the boundaries. and that's very very important.

Now, i have to "pandai pandai" brush all those things off. and "pandai pandai" deal with it and not be affected by it anymore!!

Life is full of challenges. some gets them early, some will face them slightly later in life. some are fortunate than others while some struggling to deal with it. its important to be a pair. a pair of husband a wife. where both compliment each other. hardy says i think with my heart most of the time. i think he's right. its nice to get a balance when one has a better half.

Thank you. thank you for checking up on me. for all your genuine love and concern, for those emails asking me to write. next post is going to be a cheerful one, promise! sorry for the very long silence. i just had to "go away" for a while and live life!

Always, i thank you for reading. and as always, sending you all my love! promise it will be a cheerful post next time!

A Goodbye to a Good Man

2009-01-05T14:45:00.006+01:00

The remaining quarter of 2008 passed by pretty fast, dont you think so? december's been pretty hectic for me and the last couple of weeks of december was an emotional one.

I prepared a few gifts for our closest friends for Christmas. some i managed to get them out, and some i didnt. i should really be much more organized next year.. but one special gift, and a special wish was specially for our next door neighbour, the de Vries.

Their house was so quiet since i was stuck indoors with the bug. i did notice that there was less action goin on, no cars going in and out. the blinds in their living room are all the time shut. we normally waive to John from the car or when coming home from ourwalks. but the shutters were down. John and Angelie havent been out walking as well. we havent waived nor have we been saying hellos to any of the de Vries for quite a while.

I have bought another 4 packets of lemongrass for John. knocked on their door but there wasnt an answer. i could sense that something was wrong. a couple of days just before christmas, Rob, their youngest son had told us that John was brought to Leuven Hospital for some complications almost a week ago. the same time i was down with my flu bug.

My spirits went stright down. i went all quiet.

As usual, every christmas eve, we'd always get something for them. we told Rob that we'd pass it for his next visit, which was suppose to be on christmas day. he said that John would want to rest that day (on the eve) and ask for the boys to come on christmas day. we heard them going out that night and didnt see them coming home till the next morning.

On Christmas morning, we woke up and checked if any of their cars are still at home. Hardy went quickly to their house to send the presents to the de Vries. Hardy came home with a numb and sad look on his face. he then broke the news to me gently.

Just after midninght, in the early mornings of Christmas day 25th of December 2008, our dear neighbour, our good friend John de Vries passed away.

I couldnt control my tears.

He was a good man. a very good man. he fought hard. the last month passed by so quickly. and the last time i was with John i remembered we were laughing and smiling. that's how i want to remember him, always. he had been incredibly nice to us. he had been more than welcoming to us. he was like a father figure and he'd always on the look out for us. i will always remember meeting him for the very first time. he was one of the reasons why we bought the house. John was one of the kindest, nicest, warmest, bravest man that i know. we love him dearly and we will miss him and his jokes so so much.

It must be hard on Angelie. i can only imagine how she's feeling. she's been such a rock since John's diagnosis. i honestly, trully admire her. she still smiles her normal smile. she still cares about other things. she's been so so strong throughout. she's unbelievable.

When you're new to a country, you'd want that sense of comfort. you'd want to be and feel safe, you'd want to have the right company, trustable people around you, you'd want to be welcomed. i felt every bit of that from John and his family. i feel so honoured to have gotten to know him.

I'm a very emotional person, and i dont take these kindda news too well sometimes. especially to those who have left such a big impact in my life. seeing his van next door is still difficult for me. Aidan calls out for John everytime he sees the van and everytime he calls for John, i'd cry. i'd have a lump in my throat everytime we mention him. he was such a good man.

Last couple of days, Angelie dropped by. and just before she left, she said something that will always make me smile, and smile even wider when i think of John. she said John loved us. loved us very much.

Here's to John, thank you so much, from the bottom of our hearts for your beautiful friendship, support and love. you've been nothing but wonderful to us. we will always remember the things you have said and stories you have shared with us. your stories, your jokes, your smile and our fond memories together will always be in our hearts. we will miss you.

I just didnt have the mood to blog since. i havent even been checking my emails. i wanted to put up a post wishing happy holidays to all but that and with some other news i needed to feel better first. I sincerely hope and pray that all of us will have a better year, filled with lots of happiness, joy, good, fun and fond memories and of course good health. thanks guys for reading. i'll upload some winter photos for us to smile soon! i'm off to get meself a box of tissues now and enjoy our white scenary form our window!

R & D

2008-12-20T07:46:00.000+01:00

Rain

Rest

Run

I've had plenty of those lately. plenty of rain for the past week. not much fun but i was stuck indoors anyway! i've had plenty of rest (wait till you read 'D') and plenty of run! run? well, Run is my favourite song this winter, undoubtedly. the tune, the tone is just right (for me) to listen to it again and again and again in this gloomy weather with me being 'D'!

Down

Demam

Dreadful

Those 3 are the reasons why i've been quiet. it is absolutely dreadful and at times, yes, i wish i could run from it all. the bug seems to be spreading really fast and to almost everybody! i told myself that i cant let it run in me but it did somehow despite my strong fighting will. i was flat, and poor Aidan had to make do with his monday and tuesday without any painting, crafting, racing and peekabooing with mama. hardy was away but i managed to pull myself back up, especially when you hear "sayang mama"..

I'm getting there. i'm getting stronger. now RECOVERING AND DELIGHTED!

Iwill leave you all with this year's winner of the x factor (the show i've been following every year since Will Yong won it!). her single's definitely gonna be a christmas hit! what a story for this girl! no more x factor nights from this week on *sigh*....

Alexandra Burke - single
Alexandra Burke - my favourite week of hers

My boys are still sleeping. it's half past seven in the morning and yes, i'm up! it is still dark outside and guess what? its raining. dont think we'll be having a white christmas this year. i'm late on our christmas cards, i'm going to continue writing and hopefully will get more out today. i'd better start on those cards before Aidan wakes up!

Cheerio!

Whiter Days

2008-12-03T22:20:00.008+01:00

It's pretty cold here. we woke up to some snow showers, temp was -1 this morning and then i came up to 3c but it felt like it was still -1! very thick frost on our car windows, it is certainly winter!

This was the amount of snow we had a couple of weeks back. certain parts reached up to 6 inches. everything was white, it was simply beautiful. hardy and i went out for a snowball fight and we almost slipped several times. who won? yeah.. yeah.. and so he won... we came back feeling cold but content!

Anyway, i've just had a beautiful day with my son today. he's been incredibly good since Hardy left on his business trip last week. and so i've rewarded him with a trip to toys r us. we love browsing! we didnt get anything though. i'm currently teaching him how to browse! haha... we went on those mickey rides, aeroplane rides... about 5 of them all together. and strangely, he didnt want me to put any money in! i think he's beginning to have some dutch qualities in him! (which is not bad at all!)

We did this slightly before dinner and it is now up on our front windows so that the first thing papa will see when he gets out from the cab is his son's work, welcoming him home. as usual, everytime when hardy's away, it's always a good mother and son bonding session/period. and i couldnt be prouder.

I've just put him to bed and just before i kissed him goodnight, i whispered to him, thank you aidan, for a beautiful day! i had soooooo much fun. and what did he say? he said "welcome". my heart melted and i was full of awe.

Thank you, thank you all for the anniversary wishes. i shall now get my beauty rest and warm hardy's socks as he's coming home in the morning! great! now i have someone to cuddle and keep me warm in this freezing weather! we so need to go out for our anniversary dinner.. or perhaps i should cook something special for him.. (on second thoughts...nah... he had too much for the past week! we'll go out! this time my shout!)

Sleep tight everyone... i'm gonna watch pride and prejudice for the hundredth time and will probably cry for the hundredth time...

Better Half

2008-11-26T01:43:00.000+01:00

The past 3 years have been simply wonderful. it's been a journey. an amazing, beautiful journey. the things that we've been through together since we got here 3 years ago have pulled us much much closer. (boy! have we been through a lot!)

I've learnt more and more to be a wife without losing my own self. i've learnt how to love even more. i've learnt how to appreciate even more. i've learnt how to tolarate even more. i've learnt to be patient even more. i've learnt to share and smile even more. i've learnt when to step in and when to just sit back and observe. i've learnt to be even more supportive and understanding. i've learnt to be more positive. i've learnt to be more forgiving. i've learnt to be much calmer. i've learnt to take things lighter sometimes and be less serious. i've learnt to be stronger. all this, with still being myslef.

I've learnt more and more of the term 'better half'.

Now, i dont just plan to say it, i plan to live up to it. i shall try with all my heart and all my might!

Here's to us. 3 amazing, wonderful years anyone could ever wish for. he is indeed my better half.

Still rooted, grounded..

Still wangi...

Still as bubbly and sparkly...

Still as sweet...

... and still solid

I'm now gonna wipe my tears and wish you all, all the love in the world. for i truly am grateful, thankful beyond words for this one. (H, get your ass back here quick! ;) safe trip home.. love you more than you can imagine).

The Simplest Thing

2008-11-22T09:32:00.006+01:00

I am incredibly touched by those who had left us such wonderful words in our last post. I am grateful for all the suggestions. i feel so connected to all of you with your stories. i wish i could give you, each one of you a big huge hug.

A lot has happened since my last post and our brave and amazingly strong neighbours are still fighting this great fight. on the other side of things, i've come to terms with some people being not on the same wavelength as us. i've come to terms to those who have the wrong perception towards us. i've come to terms with those who just cant stop talking about other people. i've come to terms with those who just refuse to see there's more things in life than just them. i've accepted them all.

I am handling it as wisely as possible. and yes, i'm still handling Holland (and life, for that matter!) and i'm loving it!

Life is bigger than conflicts, life is bigger than material stuff, life is bigger than what others have, life is bigger than what other people think of you... sometimes you just have to look at life's simplest pleasures.. the little little things you get to see everyday... like this for example!

I lead a very simple life here, believe it or not. and we intend to stay living our simple life for as long as we can. Life is what YOU have, and how YOU make the best out of it.

Captured these pictures while on our way to the UK. this was taken in France, before we reached the Eurotunnel. I think they are simply gorgeous. how often do we stop and appreciate this? i appreciate life, i appreciate love, sincerity and everything that we see with every each passing day.

This is life. this is my life. me being such a softie, a whimpy mum and wife.. i sometimes cry looking at my two boys together. enjoying their time in their own special fluffy white duvet, somewhat like the clouds huh?! ;)

It makes me feel like i'm on cloud 9!

Have a wonderful, beautiful weekend everyone.. no more clouds, we shall now enjoy the snowy weather..

What Do You Say...

2008-11-07T16:00:00.003+01:00

What do you say when someone talks bad about you?

What do you say when someone utters hurtful words to you?

What do you say when people judge you based on what others say?

and...

What do you say when someone very dear to you's been told that he's got a couple of months to live?

Well, everything in life is a choice. You can lash out to those who talk bad of you and your family, you can certainly confront them, you can give them a taste of their own words, you can take it up to the next level and which will probably cause an argument, or, you can say nothing.

There are all types of people that makes this world, and i dont expect everyone to be the same. to me, my parents are one of the two most patient people in the world, alongside Hardy. we have had so many people talk about us, our family. it gets to me, up to a point. and to be honest, i cant help but to think that God had 'saved' us from all those by sending us here. well, at least it eases a little bit.

I dont know their reasons for doing so. but what i do know is that we're true to ourselves and our beliefs. we're taking care of our family and ourselves and minding our own business. we are grateful to have amazing friends and we're grateful that we're living our lives.

It hurts, of course. but somethings are better left unspoken. somethings are better left unsaid. there's really no point of justifying everything to everybody.

What my parents had taught me was, think before you say something. if it can cause hurt and damage and will create anger, think again. i am seen to be the most soft hearted person by my husband. how soft hearted am i? well, i cried to Obama's speech when he won the election. that's how soft i can be! and i'm not even an american!

Now, back to those questions.. what do you say? what would you do?

Here in Holland, we're so lucky to have wonderful neighbours. the de Vries family are the closest people to us here. it's great to be able to trust somebody when you're still new to the country. they are the type of people whom you can trust to leave your keys with, whom you can always count for help, whom you can always sit down and have a chat over a cuppa tea and some vlaai... they're the type of neighbours whom you can always joke with and rely on... always.

John has his own workshop and is his own boss, while wife Angelie is the co owner of Aidan's playschool.

There was this one occation where Hardy was away and i had no bike, and so i decided not to send Aidan to playschool. they are the type of people who'd go beyond their routines to help us. John would rather not go to work and send and fetch Aidan from school. Angelie would do the same. every season we would get at least a gift from them. they'd always give Aidan something, presents and cards, books and toys.. and of course we would do the same for them and bring them back at least something from where we've been. the least we could do...

Last 4 months have been very tough on the whole family. it's been tough on us as well seeing them almost everyday. John has been diagnosed of Cancer. you can imagine how it has affected us. i cried the whole week and i just couldnt bring myself to see him. it was all a sudden. and the results are not on our side. the doctor said he has a few months.

Took me a while to grab hold of myself before i could see him after the news.

They went for a second opinion. and still, the results are not good. i've ran out of words to say to him. and so now, i chose to say nothing but let my actions say it all.

But there was this one thing that i whispered to him as i hugged him before he left for Leuven. i said to him - so, ok, your organs are failing, but one thing still remains good is your heart. you are a strong, good man.

I guess what i'm really trying to say (and tell myself here) is to stay positive. stay hopeful. stay positive, no matter how hard it is. stay positive no matter how many evil voices there are in your head (and out there!). h0peful - hopeful it will all turn out good, hopeful those people will change, hopeful they wont talk bad about you and your family, hopeful they wont judge me anymore, hopeful they will mend their ways, hopeful they will change the way they think.

Saying nothing doesnt mean you're not hurt. saying nothing doesnt mean you've lost the so called fight. saying noting doesnt mean you're wrong. saying nothing doesnt mean you dont care. it is staying true to yourself, your beliefs and what you feel and deem is right.

We read that lemongrass can kill cancer cells. we buy them for John twice a week since we heard the news, in hope that it kills all the bad cells. i hope John will live to battle out the cancer. i hope John will stay positive and hope he will enjoy the rest of the days.

I am hopeful for so, SO many other things. and i thank God for keeping us, my family, my parents healthy and well.

Have a good weekend everyone. thanks for always hopping by to read!

Its Been a While ey?

2008-11-02T22:41:00.003+01:00

I have been spending lots of quality time with Aidan lately. he is now in a different stage and to be honest, i have never felt so comfortable and confident being a mum, like how i'm currently feeling. he's much more independent yes. sometimes i do struggle. but most importantly, i enjoy every second of it. he's more of a companion for me now, we talk, we joke, we strike conversations, we cook, we fold (clothes), we clean (mostly his mess)...

I am however very strict with routines and my do's and my dont's. and the best bit these days, he can be asked to do things, he listens and understands, and he knows his please and thank yous! (i'd better stop bragging!)

I am seriously setting some ground rules and pilling those concrete foundation. hopefully he'll have good solid roots, so that i'd feel much safer and have tonnes of confidence before i let him 'fly'.

It is just pure joy, beyond words just by looking at him and watch him play on his own and doing his own thing. he is now at a stage of imagining, in his own world. both Hardy and i are often amazed with the things that he can do, and our faces would beam with proudness.

Lin (my new friend from Paris) once asked me, how does it feel to be a mother? i answered her in one word - Proud.

I think i'm made for this. i'm made to mother. i'm defintely not made to study (unlike my brainy sister), i'm definately not made to work behind a desk in an office (the only desk i'm made for is my craft desk!).. i am made to mother, and i mother almost everyone!

Anyway, it is now autumn, it's getting cooler and almost all the leaves are gone. i wanted to snap some good shots of autumn but so far, i managed to get only one. this one's my favorite. taken just outside our home, on our driveway. autumn's beautiful, but sadly, the night will become longer thus, we would have lesser sunlight during the day. but every season has its own charm.

I'm off to finish unpacking. our surprise UK trip for my sister was a success! we had a brilliant time, although i wish we could stay longer and spend more time with all and visit some of our closest friends and relatives.. hopefully next time..

I dont know about you, but i have a theme song for every season! and this year's autumn, i am currently in love with 'No Air'. a nice song to listen to on the background when you're on your sofa, both feet up, with a hot drink in your hand and watch those leaves fall!

Enjoy both versions! i'm off to mother Hardy now that Aidan's asleep! he.. he.. have a great week ahead everyone!

No Air - David Slides

No Air - Boyce Avenue

Our Autumn In Paris

2008-10-16T22:26:00.000+02:00

We're back from Paris and i've been swamped with housework and orders (read here if you're interested!). it was a 4 (5 including stops!) hour ride from the calm, small town of Sittard to the ever buzzing busy city of Paris!

This was our 3rd time together in Paris since we moved here. first time was in spring, being 5 months pregnant, we went to Rolland Garros, the second time was with my parents last year in winter and now, in Autumn. every season has it's charm. but one thing's for sure, Paris is still as busy as ever!

But he did it again! YES Hardy did it again! if you're not a parisien, two things you need when you drive in Paris- a lot of guts and tonnes of confidence. it was absolutely MAD! roads are fairly small compared to the roads we have here in Holland and to top it off, almost everyone's beating the lights, and they have BIG huge roundabouts and then, somehow you'd have to stop in the middle of the roundabout, and zebra crossings every 100mtrs not to mention those bravehearts cyclists on their bikes to watch out for! GOSH! thank god we stopped at the services just before we got into Paris! i'd sure pee in my pants if my bladder was full!

In the middle of a traffic jam with cars honking at each other, in the middle of a roundabout, one car decided to call for the police who was standing probably 30mtrs away, and asked for directions! and when the lights turned green, everyone was at a halt, anxious impatient drivers then started to honk and gosh, pure madness! one thing about driving in holland, people dont honk! but hey, this is Paris we're talking about!

Anyway... if you do plan to drive in Paris, get a 4th or 5th hand car (not second! even! no! well depends how badly damage it already is!). i noticed almost every car has at least a scratch! and here we are driving our big fat estate car! and dont let me even start on parking! this is how they park...

Do i need to elaborate more?! oh, i take it back, you will need 3 things if you want to drive in Paris, not 2 - guts, confidence and a 4th/5th hand car! hehe.

Now, to a more calming story and more calming pictures...

I brought Aidan to this park near our hotel. we spent a good 2 hours there. such colourful people from all around. a lady who sat next to me offered me to share her lunch, i even made friends with an american guy with his son. both sighed in relief cause we dont speak a word of french apart from bonjour and au revoir! i had a brilliant time with Aidan meeting the people that makes Paris Paris!

Since we already did the whole Eifel Tower, Notre Damm and Champs-Elysees bit last winter, we decided to give it a miss this time. my main visit to Paris this time is to meet this one person whom i've been talking a lot to for the past half a year. you know sometimes, you can just tell a person just based on how they talk (or perhaps i should say type!). we shared our stories and i somehow feel very close to her since we started chatting.

I was right. we hit it off right away. she's friendly, warm, funny and humble and just pure genuine. i can relate to almost everything she's going through right now - the big change! she is one tough one, a very nice person to talk to and a wonderful company to be with, a wonderful cook and a loving person, she's great with Aidan. both Lin and her french husband Mokhtar was just like us 3 years ago.

They invited us to their lovely home and Lin cooked us the best sambal tumis udang in Europe! and yes, let us not forget about the formage! we had a lovely time, even Aidan enjoyed himself finishing up almost half a plate of tempe we brought for them!

The next day, Lin brought us to Jardin du Luxembourg. we love parks and gardens and what a way to spend a day enjoying the sun at the most beautiful garden i've ever been to! the weather was really REALLY nice throughout the duration we were there. 21c, too good to be true for October! the garden is breathtakingly beautiful. it is so french with lots of statues and monuments, almost like an open air museum.

We had a lovely time, and i'm glad i finally get to meet Lin. she'll always be special to me, just like a younger sister. and after our days in Paris, i can say this, i had a wonderful family dinner eating Japanese with my boys, i had a wonderful mother and son day at the park with Aidan, and i had a wonderful meeting with Lin. and i wouldnt wanna swap that with any other stuff in Paris, not even the best crepes in the whole entire city of Paris!

Thank you Lin & Mokhtar. thanks for the wonderful meal, the chocolate cake, the cheese, gifts for Aidan and a start to a lovely friendship!

Our Humble Raya

2008-10-06T22:22:00.006+02:00

Our Raya was just a simple one. Raya here in Holland was on Tuesday, a day earlier than home. we only knew about it before going to bed that Monday night. i almost went into panic attack as i wasnt ready with all the stuff to make our little family Raya feast. i was so confident that it will fall on Wednesday!

I know i've said that i wont fuss about Raya, but i'd still want my house to smell like 'Raya' (if you know what i mean). Hardy then reminded me that there's nothing to panic, and suggested we'd go out and have dinner instead!

No way i'm gonna let my boys eat sushi on Raya!

Hardy had to go for a meeting in Germany on the first day of Raya and so Aidan and i continued with our initial plan to make cookies for papa (cant seem to find the photos, but will upload later). it went well... in the beginning! until Aidan poured more and more flour into the dough! there goes our chocolate chip cookies (sigh). we did everything together, from bringing out the ingredients to measuring and mixing. showed him the entire process and told him after he wakes up from his nap, the cookies will be done, out from the oven! it was so much fun asking him to stir and mix! we had less than 10 of them. 1 for aidan (he only had one, probably now he knows the consequences of pouring more flour into the mixture!) and the rest, mama and papa kongsi! (shared). we ate them all, with proudness written all over our faces and in our tummies regardless the texture!

A week before Raya i asked Hardy what should we cook. He said kuah kacang, nasi impit and lodeh would be awesome! since he'll be busy for the rest of the month, we decided to postpone his famous laksa till further notice! first time lucky! everything was edible!! i'm pretty pleased with myself!

The next morning was so busy, busy on the phone from morning till midday! calling most of our families and close friends. calls, calls.....

and more phone calls!

And last weekend, we went to our friend's Raya gathering at Eindhoven. and it was such a pleasant surprise to meet almost everyone there! cooked ayam percik and had the most delicious rendang in holland!

Received Raya cards and even duit raya for Aidan! i must reply soon to thank each and every one of you. i just need a little bit more time! but sincerely, thank you from the bottom of our hearts!

Will be packing... leaving for Paris tomorrow. i havent even blog about our Czech holiday, and now we're leaving again! oh gosh, where did September go!! time flies SO fast!

Just like most families, we had our family picture taken as well. all dressed up in Baju Kurung. and i'm sure you can tell the theme colour just by looking at Aidan's!

Anyway, how was your Raya?

P.s: I will, i will reply to comments/emails (ranee, you're on top of my list! perhaps we should swap numbers!).

Selamat Hari Raya

2008-09-26T11:03:00.009+02:00

This is my 3rd Raya here, in the Netherlands, but probably my 8th time spending raya out of Malaysia. yes i do miss home especially this time around, with all the food you can get, and meeting most family members (mostly crazy wicked cousins), i miss going to my best friend Yoyo's house and have leftovers.. i miss the sound of fireworks at night, and the raya songs they play on the radio, i miss the smell of raya (if you know what i mean) - the smell of new curtains, new paint, cookies and cakes in the oven...

But eversince we got here, we havent been really focusing much on raya.

To us, now that we're all grown up and pretty much slightly (and hopefully) wiser, raya is not all about food. raya is not all about new things in the house, new clothes, new shoes and what we're gonna wear. raya for us is to be thankful and grateful and most importantly, raya is all about giving and forgiving.

If i have ten hands, i'd send all of you a card. but with everything that's been going on lately, i only managed to make less than half of what i intended to make! we posted our cards, couple of weeks back and hope they have arrived. with or without a card, one thing is for sure, we wish the same for everyone.

I wish everyone will enjoy their time together. i wish everyone a safe journey, and since its all about giving and forgiving, this is what i could give and wish for all of you, i ask for yours, and i give you my forgiveness, and i also wish you all the love.

To all our friends and families who always hop by to 'visit' us here,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

To Aidan

2008-09-21T14:09:00.001+02:00

The way you came into the world was just simply different than anything else (ask papa the whole story!)

All i can say is, before you were here, I would die for you..

This is trully, the miracle of love.

You were the tiniest thing i ever decided to put my whole life into.

As i stood and watched you sleeping, the moonlight kissed your face.

My heart is overwhelmed with your beauty and your grace.

How precious and so delicate is your tiny little hand

And the sweetness of your lips and eyes is nothing less than grand

Your spirit and your softness ternderly sets my heart aglow, with a love so deep and infinite that only a mother could know.

So tonight i count my blessings for my darling, Aidan dear, for surely God did hear my heart and answered every prayer.

10 tiny fingers ready to play

10 tiny toes dancing away

2 tiny hands to hold from the start, and

1 precious smile that touches my heart..

Yummy

I've got food in my tummy!

Little boys are awesome blessings,

filled with imagination and fun.

Their charm is magic and energy abounding,

until the day is done

Before you were born

I dreamed of you,

I imagined you,

I prayed for you..

Now that you're here,

I hope for you,

I love you,

and i thank God for you

Happy 2nd Birthday Aidan!

A Busy Body

2008-09-18T23:11:00.003+02:00

Been down with a bad flu, had a bad fall (a rather funny story!) and been busy as a bee lately!

This is currently what i have on my plate, lots of sweet stuff! Aidan's gonna be 2 this Sunday! will share the end results of this entire mess soon...

Promise will reply most comments..... and promise to write about Czech... will write again soon guys, thanks ever so much for hopping by!

Fijne weekend! till my next post!

Ramadhan

2008-09-03T12:58:00.012+02:00

Ramadhan is one special month for me. I have had wonderful months of fasting for the past years. my business always kicked in during the months of Ramadhan, Aidan was born slightly before the month of Ramadhan, we moved into our new house in the month of Ramadhan, i've met wonderful new friends during the months of Ramadhan (Juan of Sapura & k.Liza of Lubis to name a few).

Here's something i thought i'd share during this fasting month. its quite a personal one.

I moved to KL wanting to start a new life some 5 years ago. had a shop with a business partner but after the first year, it went downhill. i then went on my own. a few offers came in wanting me to join their companies but i decided to go on my own. it was very slow but i didnt give up. lucky for me, my business doesnt involve loans from banks and other institutions, but myself, and of course with the support of my parents. it then got to a stage where we were running dry.

One day just slightly before Ramadhan, i called my parents up for financial help. told them i wanted to make Hari Raya Hampers (back then it was at its peak). but there was something in mum's voice, and i knew something was wrong. they had sold off our second car and then i just knew that i couldnt ask for more from them. at that time both of them worked extra hard in finding extra money, dad helps a friend in a business venture and mum sells her necklaces and her oter crafts. but i could sense things are not looking so bright.

At that time, i felt like i'm the most useless daughter int the world.

Car-less, and pockets all drained, i had to walk to get to where i wanted to go. by then it was 1st and 2nd days of Ramadhan. cracked my head as to how i should do this without having to put any money up front. scouted for other people doing the same thing. i worked so hard till i almost forgot that i was fasting. i could still remember the first days of Puasa where i had to walk in the rain to get food, and i was all alone. i was sure most people by that time were already in front of their dining tables full of food and colourful drinks, waiting for the azan to break their fasts. i had to walk during azan. and it was a good 25 mins walk and coming back from the stalls, a car drove by and hit a big puddle and i got really drenched! got back to the apartment and i cried and cried. one thing about me is i simply hate to ask for favors from anybody. yes, i'd rather get drenched!

I then prayed like i've never prayed before. asking God if He could help me help my parents. i prayed, and i prayed hard. i can still remember that day when i cried to Him for help. i knew what i wanted to do, i trust myself and i believe in myself so much and have every faith that what i intended to do will succeed.

After a lot of convincing, moneytory help came in and so i could then extend the business more (to which i am grateful for). i worked my pants off during that whole month. other offers started to pour in during the same month. and i was travelling KL-JB back and forth like crazy (i've made friends with all the bus drivers!). i just couldnt cope (which was good!) and by that time, i wished i had more than 10 hands, i wished there were more than 24 hours a day and energy that could last me for life without having to sleep!

Relationships matured and one soured (for some reasons till today it puzzles me) during that month of Ramadhan. but i stayed very focused and brush the negativities aside. i knew what i was doing, and i stayed true to my words and beliefs. my relationship with my parents really matured during this time, we had fun helping each other out and it was simply a blast. i could have never have done it without them plus 2 most dearest, most beautiful friends one could ever have, Lenny and Yoyo.

That whole year was full of exciting ventures. the next Ramadhan we went full swing! Rezeki started to pour even more.

I'd never thought i'd make it this far. to which i'm very proud of. i'd never thought that other people had faith and trust in me. a bonus to see them smile whenever they see the stuff i made. everything was dipermudahkan. my prayers were answered.

the last batch before saying goodbye

2 years later, i met Hardy. got married and moved out of Malaysia, for good! it is a shame to leave everything behind just as things are picking up and bigger plans were made. but it was all for the better. definitely!

I miss those days. i miss being extremely busy! those difficult days meant a lot to me. i'm proud of what i did, how i did it. it all started with one wish. one niat - which was to help mum and dad.

Ramadhan is the best month, it pulls you so so much closer to God. it made me stronger, much much stronger. One thing that struck me was, Alhamdulillah, even without a car, even when there's no more shop, even when i'm without a soulmate, minus all the digits in our bank accounts, we worked hard and we were very happy.

Syukur, with just the basics, minus the pasar ramadhans (though i miss it), we're still able to fast till today, and most importantly, we're all fine now.

I am now helping a couple of people who i feel are in the same boat as i was back then. i'm helping them from here, afar. i've helped them before but how i wish i'm actually there so that i could help more... its difficult, yes, but i'm gonna give it my best shot!

Ramadhan al Mubarak to all muslims, my friends.

In Memory

2008-09-02T10:51:00.007+02:00

It was 2 years ago. and i can still remember his voice. a very humble boy, just a boy. he helped us to build our home.

I can still remember him talking to Hardy about the renovation. i can still remember him knocking down our old walls with his bare hands. i can still remember him doing the plastering of Aidan's new room and laying down the bricks for our kitchen and dining extention. i can remember it all well.

He left without even seeing our home, now all done up. he left before i could even cook him a malay meal as i had promised. he left without even finishing his final year degree in construction, he left us suddenly. but he left peacefully.

I am extremely thankful and grateful to him for all his effort and his time. 2 years. 2 years had passed. and our home would not be a home without his help.

As i prayed with Hardy last night in our room, i thought of him, and how hard he worked for our house, to get it all ready before Aidan was born. that place where he stood is now our office and my craft room, and that's the exact place where we now pray. we now spend most of our time there, in that room, which once used to be Aidan's.

To Geoffery, we didnt thank you enough. but we hope you know how grateful we are to you. you're missed, i'm sure. but we want you to know, you're remembered, by us. always. in memory of you, we planted an apple tree in our garden! thank you, thank you so much. may you rest in peace Geoffery.

Zaza, Hardy & Aidan

**more on what actually happened, click here**

Fabulous Finds

2008-08-25T14:21:00.001+02:00

This is the closest thing that we can get to a real 'pasar'. i LOVE the market! we get our supplies of fresh fish almost every saturday, and i normally get our fresh flowers to add some colour to our home whenever we're at one.

There's tonnes you can find at the market. i love to scout for rare finds (most of the time i'm unsuccessful). but i get some kind of a thrill from just browsing!

Just when people back home in malaysia are sighing and complaining of the rise of the oil prices and everything else, over here, i am so thankful that we can still afford to buy a great bunch for just 5 euros! just look at the the veges and fresh fruits! and what this particular store was offering was:

2 avocados

2 boxes of roma tomatoes

2 papayas

2 sweet mangoes

1 gala melon

1kg mandarin

2 whole salads

FOR just 5Euros! yes! 5 euros for all the above!

... and this was what i found recently! hortensia cards and envelope set of 5 brand new and some crochets and handkerchiefs for my crafts! what luck!

This is it for now guys, we're now at Czech Republic, our last holiday for this summer! there's simply too much to share and write, i wish i have more time!! take care everyone!

A common sight.. and something a little bit uncommon..

2008-08-13T21:05:00.005+02:00

In summer, this is a common sight on the roads in the netherlands. i think almost 45% of the dutch owns a caravan and almost 99.9% owns a bike. the facilities for holiday makers with caravans and bikes are endless here in holland. we have yet to try it though!

Oh, and see if you can find anything odd in these pictures! guess where!

True

2008-08-10T23:02:00.003+02:00

Remember i wrote about how frustrated i was, not being able to meet my bestest of best friend yoyo in Barcelona? well, we did meet! we managed to meet up after we got back from our Barcelona trip, and after yoyo's done with her tour of Spain. we met during her transit back to Malaysia at Schiphol airport, Amsterdam.

Everytime i talk about her, speak to her, she'd bring tears to my eyes. i honestly miss her. we've come a long long way. she knows me in and out, through and fro. she defines a true friend and in her i find so much sincerity and love. she's the type of friend who'll be there for you, regardless, she's the type of friend who cares simply too much, she's the type of friend who's willing to sacrifice her time to just make you happy.. and if there's one pair of shoes left at the store (we're the same size) or if there's only one handbag left and we both love it, and we both want the exact same one so so badly, she's the type of friend who's willing to let go and let you have it! the list goes on and on. she never questions you, she never bring things up, she gossips (when needed!), she looks at the bright side of things, she calms me down, she balance me off, we're simply ourselves when we're together.. she's trully amazing.

I was in a very bad state once, very very bad state. she (of course alongside others), was there for me. let me say it again - she was REALLY there for me. she listened to every whining, every moaning patiently. as much as she wants me to get better, she allowed me to be myself and just simply do the things that i wanted to do. she held strong and stayed positive for me. we've been through thick and thin together and i can never repay her for that.

Having someone like her in my life makes me even more complete. yeah, of course the distance is there, we dont call or text each other every day, but deep down, we both know the bond is still there and will always be there. nothing has changed apart from both living on different parts of the world.

Now that you have a child, you wish for only the best for him. i pray and hope Aidan will be surrounded with sincere people. sincere people who will make him into a better person. Aidan would be extremely lucky if he has a good friend like mine! i hope he will know the real meaning of a friend.

At the end of the day, it doesnt matter how many friends you have, but what matters most is what kind of friends you have. i trully love yoyo to bits and i trust her with all my life.

After almost 3 years of not seeing each other, that day, we met for only 4 hours. how i wish it could have been longer. but 4 hours of giggles, hugs, catching up was worth the 4 hours journey to and from our home. we sobbed uncontrollably at the gates as we waived goodbye and i was quiet half the journey back to Sittard.

I love hear dearly, and i miss her every single day... and if i can have one wish right now, i wish she could have all the best things in life, for she trully deserves it!

I hope we dont have to wait for another 3 more years to see each other! anyway, i'm gonna wipe off my tears and call it a day now... another day where i wish my close, best friend's here...

Z

Bit by Bit... and it's Bijna Klaar!

2008-08-03T23:47:00.002+02:00

I kept mentioning about our garden, and how i enjoy being in my garden since early spring. it all started when the sun came out and some our plants started to shoot out with buds. i then started clearing out the 'jungle' (part of it looked like a little jungle, well at least for Aidan). later, slowly pulled out some weeds and some sharp plants we had, just so Aidan wont hurt himself when outside playing.. and then, i saw the need to tidy up the back garden a bit since mum and dad are coming... and now that they're here, and we're still in the mood of things... we got carried away!

I'm honestly not into gardening, but i somehow love pulling out weeds! i dont grow well, so i might just stick to artificial flowers. but in this kind of weather, you cant help but to love growing, love planting, and love everything in the garden centre! before mum and dad arrived, Hardy and i bought a garden set. the next step was to lay out the slabs. over here, there are no such things as calling "tukang kebun" (a gardener) to do it for you (well actually you can if you're mighty rich). otherwise, you'll have to do everything youself! and that's just what we did!

We bought and carried everything from slabs to sand. the car carried 50 slabs each weighing 10kgs and almost 10 bags of sand each weighing 25kgs each! you do the maths! of course not all in one go... but still!

Bit by bit, and easy does it... bijna klaar (almost ready), we're getting there...
Well done boys!

June 2006 - 2 weeks after we bought the house

July 2006 - a month and a half before Aidan came into the world (yes i know, we're crazy! long story)

June 2007 - see told you it was like a little jungle!

June 2008 - Aidan in his pool in the garden

July 2008 - Aidan helping out Oma pulling out some unwanted plants

Men at work

The boys responsible for the entire garden. Well done boys! Thank you for making it all possible! (as for we girls, we're responsible for buying the flowers and chosing the furniture, as well as making sure they (boys and plants) are well fed, hydrated and motivated!)

August 2008

And look what our garden planner (dad) did last night... a layout plan for our garden... nope, it's still not done yet!

.... to be continued..... (hopefully very soon!)

I'm Staying...

2008-07-28T09:57:00.006+02:00

Thank you all for the birthday wishes for my nephew Ferran. we had a brilliant time all of us together. a couple of weeks went by so incredibly fast, especially when we were enjoying ourselves. after thousands of miles travelled, they went back to the UK with their car packed full of toys, wet-wipes (they're much much cheaper here), loads of new clothes and almost 3 thousand shots of photos taken from 3 cameras!

What a holiday!

I must apologize for not updating on our stories and journeys. i feel the need to say this. i've been thinking and thinking very hard lately.. what is my main reason for blogging. Hardy and i first started blogging since we were dating, we then moved on, and moved away and got married and now have a new life with our son Aidan here, away from Malaysia. at first, we blog to share our stories and experiences with our closest and dearest families and friends. little did we know that we'll be making friends all around the globe! i'm extremely grateful to have made new ones, definitely! some, without them knowing, are very dear to me. i'm fortunate enough not to be bombarded with nasty comments, i suppose there are quite a bunch of nice people in here. but on the other hand, by writing and making our blog 'public', anyone can find us in here and read our thoughts and stories.

I am aware by putting every word i type on the net makes people know even more of our life here. i am extremely careful with what i chose to write and how i write. i dont really write on intimate and those personal stuff and most of our writings are mainly on our son, how we're handling him, our travelling bits and how we're coping living here in the Netherlands. but whenever we write, it comes straight from the heart.

Hardy and i had a good talk over retiring from blogging. i came this close (i wish you could see how close my thumb and my pointer finger are!) to deleting our entire blog last week. we had our reasons.

But after listening to a few wise opinions, after they've made me see the other side of things, i then decided to hung on. and as Hardy puts it - "we dont have control over actions by others and what they think. but we can decide for ourselves."

I enjoy writing (despite the wrong spellings, grammar etc), i enjoy my time infront of the computer to share our stories (it's like having a 'me' time), i enjoy reading the comments made by others (those who leaves a word or two normally makes my day!). i enjoy making new friends in here. i write for a reason, i share for a reason. so there..

There's always a reason for everything. i am staying true to myself and true to what i share and write. my feet are firmly on the ground and i am grateful and thankful that some might find our writings a pleasure to read.

As of now, i'm staying.

Our 4th of July - Ferran's 1st Birthday

2008-07-09T15:11:00.001+02:00

We woke up early that morning when Ferran turned 1. and after a good hearty breakfast, we all showered the birthday boy with all his presents. the look on Ferran's face was just as cool and calm like any ordinary day... but the look on both his mummy and daddy's faces, priceless! both their jaws wide opened - stunned. and the first thing they said was - "how on earth are we going to bring all these back home! it wont fit the car!". (told you to make space! not our fault!)

We brought out the cake after Ferran got up from his nap. then we had a tiny little cake party outside in the garden with lots and lots of shots taken. gosh! i tell you, it was tough to get Aidan to stay still with the cake infront of him... just look at the expression on both Ferran and Aidan's faces! here are some photos to share..

Aidan: "eh ferran, still plenty of cake lah! lets dive in! you sapu right, i sapu left"

Ferran: "mmmmmmmmmmmm.. but left got more aidan!"

Everyone else kept calling "Aidan!! Ferran!! Aidan!! Ferran!! look at the camera!!"

The grandparents are posing..

Aidan: "tak kisah lah... but ferran, wait, i try my luck with my papa and see dapat lagi ke tak! papaaaaa.... nak lagi sikit please..."

Ferran eyes are still on the cake!

The grandparents are STILL posing...

Aidan: "aaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."

Ferran: "ha ah la... it worked! dapat lah!"

Aidan: "see! i told you! you just have to put on a sad face and a sad tone, sure dapat! your birthday what! you try!"

Ferran: "eh, ye ke? ok.. ok..."

Ferran: "please.. someone, anyone... tok mum... i want some more cake..."

Tok mum: "alahai kesiannya cucu aku... che ferran nak cake eh, nah.. nah.. nah.."

Aidan: "see, told you! we have to be smart and act a bit!

Finally, one good shot of the grandparents and their cucus on Ferran's 1st Birthday last Friday the 4th of July!

Ferran then gets to enjoy the rest of his birthday cake with his mummy and daddy. we hope you've had a good one Ferran! and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your stay with us! we love you very much!

My Nephew is One Today!

2008-07-04T01:33:00.005+02:00

Twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are?

Happy 1st Birthday Ferran!

I wish and pray you will have a good life, be filled with love, will share tonnes of laughters, be blessed with good health and all the good things in life. we want you to know that you are very very much loved!

Have a very happy 1st birthday Ferran. hope you'll enjoy yourself here with all of us.

Congratulations kakak and redza! God works in mysterious ways eh? just when you thought you couldnt conceive, there you go! and look at him now and how much he has grown. he's happy, chirpy, lovely, bubbly and bouncy!

Just thought i'd share this with you - A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankrolls smaller, homes happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.... and guys, now that you're here, we'll make sure you'll put on some weight! hehe ;)

We hope you'll have a wonderful time here with us!

The Spoiling Begins....

2008-07-02T14:38:00.003+02:00

Oma and Opa are here! i now have 4 extra hands and eyes! i long for the days when i can craft the whole day, or just sit infront of the computer the whole morning and read other blogs (i havent had time to read and comments on other's blogs for a long time!)... i long for dad's cookings and mum's ironing (the selfish side of me), but mostly, i long to see my son laugh with his Opa and Oma!

I now, cook slightly lesser than before, iron slightly lesser than before, i cry lesser when Hardy goes out of the country (gi la Barcelona, Antartika, Moscow or Krakow.. kita dok rumah... tak kisah... :P) now that i have company.... and i can now (i hope) to sit back for a bit, go out for a movie with Hardy, have a quiet dinner just me and my dear husband... although i must say there were a couple of times since mum and dad are here, when it was just Hardy and i in the car, it felt rather strange not having Aidan in his seat blabbering!

Wait.. there's more... my sister Fifi and her boys are coming tomorrow!! it's going to be my nephew Ferran's 1st Birthday this Friday 4th of July! there's still tonnes to do, and tomorrow's the day to finish up everything before another 3 special guests arrive!

I am one happy soul!

Happy Birthday Hardy!

2008-06-20T14:58:00.005+02:00

It's Hardy's birthday today and i was up on my feet the whole day yesterday! i didnt even sit down till it was dinner time!

I was cracking my head on what to give him for his birthday for the past couple of weeks. he could do with a golf set but it requires him to try them out, some gadgets? he knows best (i dont even know there's an mp4!!), i even went on the net to look for some ideas, one was tempting, an acre of the moon for GBP20! it is so difficult to get guys a present! they are either way too expensive or just irrelevant! no, he doesnt need another watch, no he doesnt need another perfume, and so i decided not to give him something material (since i'm not a material girl! hehe, neither is he!). so i pledge to him, that i'll be a better wife, an improved better half, will take good care of him and today, his wishes are my command!

I've just spoke to my mum in law on the phone just now and thanked her for giving birth to my wonderful husband 34 years ago. we share some wonderful news, nice heartwarming stories, lots of laughters and shared some of our experiences. i miss mama...

It was all worth it. the look on his face and the thankfulness in him.. every tired bone and muscles are all now gone.

Anyway, i'm not gonna write any lovey dovey stuff for Hardy in here, i shall leave it between the 2 of us! so here's to you H, wishing you lots and lots of happiness, and hellava happy birthday! hope you like the cheesecake Aidan and i made! we love you more and more each day!

The Bond

2008-06-17T15:39:00.000+02:00

I've got way too much things to do lately. and i'm almost panicking! i have at least 15 cards to finish by the beginning of next month, birthday parties to plan, birthday presents to get, a logo to design, the whole house to clean (we're expecting some special guests!), emails and comments to reply, clothes to iron (thank God the washing's all done!), a 21 month old boy to juggle and blogs to write (see how much i love you guys!)... and when you have a 21 month old boy wanting to "help" with almost everything, it doesnt make it much easier and quicker! Hardy was away the last few days and i'm handling the house and our son alone, and when Aidan goes to bed at night, i feel like tucking myself to bed as well! there, there you have it - reasons why i have been quiet for the past week or so.

But Hardy's back from Helsinki! yeay! and i'm a little bit relaxed, but not for long i guess! i still have tonnes to do!

Anyway, it was Father's Day last Sunday. Hardy woke up with our son on the bed, all washed and cleaned, with a couple of presents and a colourful card. i dont think i could top what he did for me on Mother's Day, but hopefully he knows how much we love him! the boys then continued to mess the entire bed , shared a few loud giggles and tickles ... and then this...

I love to see the bond between the two, they are extremely close. i love watching them make silly moves and say silly things. i love looking at Aidan on Hardy's shoulders, i love listening to them giggling away. i love looking at them holding hands, i love it when Hardy teaches Aidan how to swing a golf club or kick a ball, i love it when they play at the sand pit, i love it when they talk to each other eventhough they might not get what each other's trying to say, i just love it when Aidan calls Hardy "papa" with his own tune (gives me time to at least relax a bit.. haha)... i simply love the dad in Hardy. and the best bit is when Hardy gets back from his trips, the voice, the tone, the expressions, the actions and reactions are even greater!

I know Aidan looks up to his dad. i also know how much they both adore each other. it's really nice to see the 2 of them together... it's just pure bliss! (plus the fact that i get to be on my own! hehe)

We all love our dads, deeply. we all have different ways of showing how much we love them. but the bottom line is still the same, we simply adore and love them.

That One Moment

2008-06-13T00:05:00.001+02:00

It was honestly oh-so-beautiful. I love Barcelona more because of its beach! the life they have there is so laid back, just like Holland, but more with a beach! the locals here in the Netherlands love to cycle, i noticed the locals there love to run. they do cycle as well, and the bicycle lanes are organized, but slightly less than here, i musy say ;) holland is defintiely a fiets paradise!

Stephan, Hardy, Aidan and i walked from the centre to the beach. took us about a good 20 mins walk. the view was just breathtaking, and the fine warm sand, the cool water and not to mention the sound of the waves makes us just want to plant our feet in them and just be taken away by the beauty of it all. the beach was surprisingly clean, it's almost unbelievable!

And as Hardy and Stephan decided to stroll along the beach to find some good restaurants for dinner, Aidan and i headed straight to the water!

Aidan had his first taste of the beach in Barcelona.

And as i was sitting on the sand, watching him enjoying himself and, i looked to other happy faces on the beach, and i felt blessed. looking at the coastlines and the movements of everything else on the beach, i suddenly felt too overwhelmed. how is it possible for me, an ordinary girl to be here, at this part of the world to witness all these! its amazing!

My mind then went back to those days, where i went through too much at one particular time, having lost all hope and faith in love, having had little money when business was tough... to name a few. as i sat there looking at my son, i then kept saying ya allah, syukur probably a hundred of times everytime i think of those difficult times.

Most of us go through some kind of hardship, difficult patches along the journey of life, some are more complicated than others, some are life changing, some with a permanant disability, some just dramatic drastic changes, while some are fortunate enough, born with a silver spoon, born brainy and beautiful, born having everything sugar coated and probably own a line of posh cars. but i am so glad that all those "cuts, burises, hurtful, difficult challenging times" happed to me. i wouldnt appreciate life like how i appreciate life now, if i was born with a silver spoon. honestly, i strongly believe all the hard knocks happened for a reason. you might not be able to see it now, but eventually you will.

The best thing when you come out of the dark hole is when you can say, "hey, i did it!" sometimes i still cant believe that i'm here, with 2 amazing, wonderful boys to which i am married to one, and the other one is a result of being married! and the best thing is, to be absolute honest with each other. what i normally do when the past keeps on creeping is i tend to just brush it off, and sometimes laugh it off. i'm glad it all happened, pleased and very proud on how i handled things and thankful that all worked for the best for me.

I trully believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God is fair, He knows and hears everything. only He knows whats best. you really cant help it but tho think of all these when you're staring at the beautiful big blue ocean, with blue skies on the background... how small we are..

I think God sent us here, this part of the world, for a reason. syukur alhamdulillah. everytime when i'm in a different place, everytime when i witness different things, everytime when i look up to buildings and monuments in a different country i feel so grateful. it is just beyond words. and like what most of you said, i am absolutely lucky indeed. i do realise and acknowledge it. rezeki. i just wish i could share this, in real life with all of you, but i cant. so the closest i get is by blogging, sharing it here, through pictures and stories.

Aidan then sat on me and we played with the sand. and i thought to myself, i've never felt so content. i whispered to him- we're so lucky Dan. so so lucky. we sat on the beach for almost an hour before Hardy came to get us for dinner, just me and my son.

I am positive somewhere along the way, Aidan will face some hardships, knocks. bumps and will probably fall. there will be cuts and scars but its how you get yourself back up again, and learn how to walk, recover from all the bitterness and move on with your life that counts. i will be there for my son, just like how my parents were there for me. i hope he has good friends, just like what i had, i will be a good friend to him, just like my good friends were to me.... come to think of it, it's kindda scarry eh... but i've got Hardy by my side to put me into perspectives (on occations when i'm not!).

I've come quite a long way, and each of us have our stories. but i'd say the best bit for me was how i managed to get myself back up again. (to those of you who knows what i've been through, you know what i'm talking about!).

Life is a journey, not a destination. it is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. and happiness is not a state to arrive at, but rather a manner of travelling.

I had that one special moment with my son on the beach. it will always, always be in my heart.

I'm glad we've travelled the distance. we shall continue to travel! i just pray, no matter where we are, we'll always be this thankful, grateful and happy.

Breathtaking Barcelona

2008-06-08T09:02:00.017+02:00

I'm sorry for the delay guys, but Friday was a busy day, and yesterday was our rest day. it's still early in the morning and my 2 boys are still asleep. i thought i might start on our Barcelona trip before i go downstairs to prepare us breakfast. here's my take on Barcelona!

We got out of the airport to get a taxi and saw a sea of black SEAT cars, lined up. we got on one and thought we'd just put on the normal seatbelt around the waist for Aidan, the driver stopped us and said something in spanish and get off his seat and pulled out this build-in child seat, with a bolster seat together with a seatbelt. i was very much impressed! i'm not sure if they just have it in taxis or all that type of SEAT cars, but surely is impressive! all cars should have one just like it!

Our hotel: It was just a good 20 mins drive from the airport to the hotel. normally in main cities, the airport would be quite a distance, but not this one. i was wow-ed by the hotel, didnt know we'd be staying at this fancy one where there were about at least 10 olive trees at the entrance, each at least 3 meters high (imagine how old they are!), their bed linens are all embroided with their logo (including Aidan's), where the bath tub is massively big, where they'd leave us a card by the bad every night, saying good night and let us know the weather for tomorrow, where there's live music playing downstairs at the lobby. you know, that's what i'd expect in hotels back home. (i must say the hotels back in Malaysia are excellent) but in Europe, all that is luxury! i am a little bit of a jakun coz i dont get to stay in hotels that much (in Europe), unlike my husband. so i certainly felt like Julia Roberts! for sure! with an almost 2 year old boy, i feel slightly lesser but when Hardy left me some money for shopping, i felt even more like Julia Roberts! (what was her name in Pretty Woman?).. but of course minus the whole lotus car and the hooker thing!

Anyway...

The view we had was simply awesome. our room was facing the pool, the playground, the Real Barcelona Polo Club and that massive Barcelona FC stadium! we could also see the Olimpic Area! i wanted to take the tour inside the stadium - being the 3rd largest in the world, i wanted to have a feel of it (eventhough i'm not into football). the tour might take a couple of hours and it'd be no fun doing it just us (Aidan and me) without Hardy. so we decided to give it a miss this time and will come back again for the stadium, next visit!

The public transport: Barcelona surprised me in so many ways. i am surprised that they have a very good metro (underground). trains are fast, new and journey was so plesant! there arent that many people even during the rush hours. well run, well maintained. you can get taxis easily, there's plenty of them! they go by the meter, not that expensive, like the ones here in the netherlands!

The Main Spot: The main street where all tourists go is called Las Ramblas. it is the heartbeat of Barcelona. the long tree lined pedestrian road is constantly throbbing, full of people, mainly tourists. the street stretches down from Plaza Catalunya to the Port area. there you'll see human statues, street performers, artists, some are good, some are so-so, and some, you wont even notice! Aidan was very entertained by a few. you can get all sorts of souveniurs there, from postacards to Barcelona FC stuff.

Indoor: It rained during one of the days Aidan and i was out and about. the best thing is to go to the museums, and if there's an aquarium, spend half a day in there, like we did!! his amusement didnt last that long, nope. he's not into sealife i suppose, jaws, stingrays, penguins only amuse him for the first 3 mins, but walkalators and escalators... now, that's something else!

Look che Ferran, you have a street with your name!! a busy buzzing street!

Roads & Cleanliness: Another thing that surprises me was how clean Barcelona is. taking into account the amount of tourists in the city, it is surprisingly clean!!!! and the roads... they are wide and very, very well planned. Barcelona had left me speachless!

Food: And where food is concerned, it is heaven! tapas there, there, everywhere! go with the seafood, you wont regret it!

Did i get to eat my paella? you bet i did! this restaurant we went had the best!

Sagrada Familia

Buildings: Last but not least, your visit to Barcelona wouldnt be complete without seeing the works of the famous Spanish architect - Antoni Gaudi. he is considered to be the Pablo Picasso of architecture. his work, buildings are trully something. really out of this world kindda buildings. i'm not sure if i'm fond of such buildings but i trully admire such bravery and uniqueness! you just HAVE to see it for yourself! it will blow you away! Spanish architecture is way way different than the french. Spanish's got more character i think, french has got more flare. but what do i know about architecture and buildings ey?

You know, back home, we sometimes say "gordi la furniture tu", or "ish gordi betul la baju tu".. meaning is overly decorated. well. that word "gordi" was taken from this guy Antoni Gaudi! take a look, now you know why! click here to see more of Gaudi's work.

Casa Batllo

Casa Mila, La Pedrera

One tip: It helps if you bring a small english-spanish dictionary if you dont speak spanish. most of them dont understand and speak english.

Shopping: Oh, those who know me, and knows me well will testify that i dont shop branded clothes. i'd go with what the high street has got to offer.i love shopping for bargains. before Barcelona, i own nothing of the brand ZARA. and after Barcelona, i am totally in love with the brand. only cause they are much much cheaper than over here, but i have to say they're very well tailored! Spain is the home of ZARA. so, a trip to Spain wouldnt be complete without an item (at least) from ZARA!

We really have to thank Hardy's friend Stephan for bringing us around. i enjoyed Barcelona, but i enjoyed Barcelona more thanks to him, educating us with all the histories and background of the places (and not to mention his jokes!)

If Hardy wouldnt have insisted us to come along, we wouldnt be witnessing all these! mucho gracias papa!!! te quiero!! lets go to Barcelona again, por favor?!

Much Worry Over Nothing... (again!)

2008-06-02T23:49:00.006+02:00

Why oh why are you doing this to yourself, zaza!!!

We arrived safely in Barcelona at 2pm, after a 2 hours flight from Brussels. we pushed off slightly later than planned, making me more nervous in the car, prior to checking in. thank God Hardy was extremely cool and knows Brussels Airport by heart. the amount of journeys he did this year alone made the airport his playground. we found a parking spot the nearest to the terminal and used a few shortcuts, rushed straight to the check in counter.

Everything went good. Aidan was normal. enjoyed the flight. makan banyak and slept during landing! mama was very tensed but i've improved since! i could share a giggle or two now! unlike the first time! I HAVE GOT TO STOP DOING THIS TO MYSELF!

Barcelona is simply beyond words. just when i thought i've seen the best in europe, Barcelona came along and captured me and left me speachless.

My bestest of best friend Yoyo's on her way on tour to Spain! she'll be arriving tomorrow but her flight is to Madrid. it is so SO frustrating coz i dont think we could meet up. i was sobbing the other day when she told me she'd rather see me than go to visit Valencia and all, but i wouldnt want her to miss all that for me. she earned it. and it will be such and experience for her. she'll be on a group tour together with her Perodua Collegues, and by the time she's in Barcelona, i'll be back in Sittard. i hope to catch her at Amsterdam airport during her transit back to KL, by hook or by crook!

Anyway, this is it from Espana! we're staying at this hotel with a big potrait of the King infront. masok masok je nampak juan carlos (that's his name!). so wowwee! i feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman plus a kid but minus the hooker thing! oh, and behind the hotel is the Barcelona FC stadium (pity i'm not a football fan!).

Good night everyone! or i should say Buenas Noches!

Z

Aidan's 1st Cut

2008-05-30T10:37:00.004+02:00

Last Tuesday, he came back from school with a cut. they told me he'd fell, but didnt cry - and i smiled from ear to ear. he's now officially no longer a baby.. he's a boy!! more bruisers and cuts coming i'm pretty sure!

We're off packing again. this time in search of a good seafood paella. Hardy will be off to Spain next week and we're tagging along (he insisted). to be honest, i'm quite nervous. this is going to be Aidan's 2nd time on an aero. i dont know how he'll be in the plane. the first time went well (read it here). oh well, i worry over nothing sometimes. but anyway... wish me luck this time!

Aidan's at school, i'm off to do some washing and ironing in a tick. have a fantastic weekend everyone! i will try to reply most comments..

Our Photos of Munchen

2008-05-28T20:58:00.005+02:00

I have been very busy for the past week. and i've forgotten to post pictures of Munich on our last leg of spring vacation. driving in europe's simply excellent! you can rely on the signs and you'll be safe. but you might need a little bit of help from your tomtom, if you have one! makes the entire journey more pleasant. but even without one, you can still survive! we had a pleasant drive, a beautiful journey alltogether. here are some of our shots from Munich to share.

The last leg of our Spring Vacation - from the Italian Lakes to the Swiss Alps to Munich!

Aidan enjoying Munich, and his biskot!

We saw a bunch of people wearing some costumes, we werent sure what was going on. it was beautiful though! apperently it was one of those days in a year that Munich celebrated something (sorry guys, i tried asking a couple of people but most germans cant speak english that well. from what i understood, it was the start of spring for the farmers around munich) and most locals get to wear their traditional costume and march in the centre.

Beautiful German girls, in their traditional costumes. nice hats girls!

The parade

Aidan enjoying the parade. he gets the best view!

A line of mercedes taxis, the whole stretch of the road!

Ok... dah... jom balik...

Switzerland - Big and Small!

2008-05-23T10:25:00.010+02:00

You can see all of Switzerland from one place - in miniature! situated just outskirts of Lugano, this is like an open-air museum with winding pathways and more than 120 models of famous landmakrs of Switzerland. from castles, cathedrals and other notable swiss buildings.

They are build on a scale of 1:25 and just the right size for Aidan to catch the whole view. you might see St. Peter's cathedral in Geneva, House of Federal Parliament in Bern, Zurich Airport and some scenes you might see in the countryside. oh, and cable cars! this is trully amazing, as they are very well kept, very well maintained and well functioned! yes, they move, almost just like the real ones!

There are lots to see, lots of activities for the kids, a cafe to rest your legs, and facilities are good, and clean. beautiful painted buildings, trains and all other swiss transportation will leave you amazed. the landscape is trully something.

Tiny model trains, hellicopters, busses and cars with all its buzzing sounds makes this place a little bit more real for the kids!

We might be away from home, but we still carry our culture! Malaysia or Swiss Miniature, cium tangan tetap cium tangan! haha. or is it just another way for you to catch girls Aidan? (that girl was so smitten and just couldnt let go of him!)

Aidan's turn on the train around the village grounds!

We had a fantastic time here, (although i was rather grumpy at first for being hungry). but it turned out to be fun! kan Aidan?

After almost 3 hours later at the swiss miniature, we then pushed off to Munich on the most beautiful strech of road i've ever been on. and this was the view..

As i was snapping away, admiring the view from the car, little did we know that we're going to travel up the mountains, and the road will lead us right to the top. we got closer and closer to the hills and honestly, i didnt know where to turn! i was practically stunned, and at last, i just gave up on taking photos, and decided to just take them all in, and embrace the moment. i strongly recommend you to take that that stretch of road, if you're travelling by car. (remember i mentioned in my mother's day post about that feeling i have when i see my mum with my son, just like i'm on top of those snow-capped swiss mountains? well.. this is what i'm talking about!)

It was simply breathtakingly gorgeous, the view was just simply spactacular. out of this world! these pictures dont do justice at all but this is my best fair of sharing my experience with you guys! My family and i toured parts of Switzerland in the 80s, but that was in winter. i was way too cold (and young) to witness such beauty. second time was last summer last year, but we only visited Zurich. but this time, it was spring. and to have the sun shining, the blue skies, the green grass and snow on the mountains... you cant help it but to feel very, very small and humbled.

Having passed through probably close to a hundred of tunnels, i am totally in love with this country. i certainly dont mind going again. somehow i cant help it but to think - what have i done do deserve all this. trully am thankful to be witnessing all God's beauty. in those period of hardship, you often hear people say, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. but in Switzerland's case, not only there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but you will come out of the dark to a spactacular view where the grass is always greener on the other side! (how's that for combining the two together?! haha). surely applies in my case!

Have a fantastic weekend everybody! enjoy it!

Dutch in numbers : Wake up call....

2008-05-20T21:12:00.002+02:00

"Some 40% of the Dutch get up at 8am, according to research by TNS Nipo reported on Tuesday by news service ANP.

Just over one fifth of the population rise at 9am and one fifth at 7am. Of the 1,000 people questioned, 43% cannot wait to start the day while 9% are grumpy.

Once awake, 61% go to the bathroom, 13% kiss their partner and 7% immediately make coffee, says ANP."

I categorically fit in nicely as my alarm clock is set at 7am but has a tolerance of up to +2 hours......

H

Italian Dream Part 3 - Lugano

2008-05-18T21:35:00.007+02:00

LUGANO

So, ok.. back to our Italy/Swiss vacation. sorry for the delay (i had a little bit of a 'scare' last week!) and now, as promised, part 3. Lugano is right on the south of Switzerland in the italian speaking region of Tocino. we drove west from where we stayed - Porlezza (Italy), it was a good half an hour drive, having to go through the butt clenching stretch again *phew!*

What i can say about this town is it is simply buzzing with people. situated on the edge of Lake Lugano, it offers good shopping if you're into branded goods (to which i am not). Lugano has been described as the Monte Carlo of Switzerland (if only i had been to Monte Carlo, perhaps i can confirm with you on that). but really, the town is so chic and stylish, with good bars and restaurants, lots of cafes, lots of eating places, you'll have no problem filling up your tummies, but in this weather, you might find a problem getting yourselves a seat before you could actually fill up your tummies! we were so smitten by the warmth of the town, we choose not to sit down but to have a slize of pizza whilst we walk and discover the sights instead.

You know, we had to queue for a slice of pizza at this shop! it was so popular and packed! what you do is, you tell them how big of a slice you want, and then they'll cut it. they then weigh the pizza and then you pay according to the weight! i've never heard nor come across any other places that sells pizza this way! have you? it was hot from the oven, fresh and cheezy. a simple cheese and tomato pizza that pulls the crowd in!

Lots to see at Lugano, Aidan liked the fountain the best!

Swiss watches, anyone?

We had a good stroll along the river back to our car. it was breathtakingly beautiful. you feel you'd want to snap each and every inch of that view, with the snow-capped apls, with the lake, with the clouds, with the green grass.... beautiful!

If there was a drawback to Lugano, it would be the traffic coming into the town. with heavy traffic most of the time along the lakefront, and to add to the madness of traffic and traffic lights, some italian-style driving! there you have it! you'd almost feel that you're not in Switzerland! but without that traffic, i wouldnt be able to catch this photo....

My favourite photo of Lugano. captured from the car. doesnt describe the place, but still a good photo! dont you think so? (what do you think dad?)

We then took a drive to Lugano's neighbouring towns - Muralto, Minusio and drove to Ascona (on Lake Maggiore). i am embarrased to say this, but as soon as we arrived at to those places, i told Hardy, "you know what, i think we've seen enough lakes and mountains!" haha! quite honestly, they all look the same! all beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful, in their own special way!

The Dutch Way on Mother's Day

2008-05-13T14:18:00.004+02:00

I know i'm suppose to continue writing on our Italy/Swiss trip. but since we're in the topic of Mother's day, i just had to write about what we did over the weekend. i've just had a wonderful weekend! yesterday was Pinkstermaandag, a public holiday, so we had an extra day. I got Hardy a bike for his birthday last year, so this year, my dear husband thought i'd be nice for the 3 of us to cycle together, and so he got me a bike for Mother's Day. it's a shame not to have one in this weather, and besides, i've always loved riding a bike. i used to cycle quite a lot when i was younger.

I must say back then bicycles were different.... i dont remember struggling hopping on the bike! i dont remember struggling stopping! i havent been on one since i was probably 10 or 12 years old! and what a laugh we had! they could probably hear me shouting "maaakkkk!!", if not "aaaarrhhh!!" a mile away!

After our breakfast, we then check if the bikes are fit to go. first hurdle, put Aidan in his seat. (no problem), second, put his helmet on since we're not going to use the inner roads (a slight problem), third, get Zaza on her seat (huge problem! hahahah!). Hardy had packed us a picnic bag for us filled with snacks, fruits, water and sandwiches, and off we went on our bicycle practice trial ride - a TEN kilometers ride! 10!!! yes 10km for a practice ride thanks to Hardy!

We cycled for about an hour before we reached Berg. i was lucky with the traffic lights, slowed down when i saw the lights turned red, sprint away when it's green, avoiding having to stop! clever huh? Berg is a small village on the famous River Maas. and just across the river was Belgium. there we found ourselves a spot to sit and sigh in relief!

There was a small ferry shuttling mostly cyclists, bikers and cars to the other side. its just a short and slow 2 minute ferry ride across the Maas. across the river were ice cream vans, a small snack bar/cafe, some rent-a-canoe spot and a good long stretch of bicycle lane along the river. we decided to give it a miss this time. i had to remind the ever so enthusiastic Hardy to save some energy to cycle back home!

This is dutch. everyone cycles. everyone has a bike. i now have more respect for cyclists, and the dutch people for cycling everywhere! honestly, they are a bunch of fit people. there are rules for cyclists too, and not to mention car drivers when you drive in the country full with cyclists. but it is so safe to cycle, in or out of town. and in this kind of weather, it's so beautiful to be on a bike and see the country!

We rested our legs, knees and butts for about an hour. just enjoing the day, and the view, together with some elderlies who sat next to us. Aidan was brilliant throughout! i'd definitely want to try another ten on a less hilly road soon!

We ended the day with a very delicious dinner my husband cooked - Nasi Ayam! (i know a few wifeys who are privillaged to have husbands who cook... you guys are really really lucky! make sure you cook on Father's Day!)

I am one happy mama! before i was one, i felt that Mother's Day's just a day where people would make extra money and make a big hype over something we should celebrate and appreciate everyday. now after being one, i have a different view on Mother's Day. its a day to just not do anything and let the fathers do it! hehe. how i wish everyday is Mother's Day!

And who says Holland is flat?!?! Holland is definitely NOT flat when you're on a bicycle! i take my word back.. Holland's NOT flat! hahaha...

Thank you boys, i had a brilliant time. i love you both to pieces!

Moeder Dag

2008-05-11T00:33:00.006+02:00

I was trying to find suitable photos for this post, and as i went through them, most of them made me laugh, and some laugh so hard till tears rolled down my cheeks. there were some good photos and videos of my mum and my son. and as tears started rolling down my cheeks, i thought to myself, how lucky i am to have a such a beautiful mother who loves her daughters unconditionally, who'd do anything for their daughters and adores her grandchildren.

My mum once asked me,"how does it feel looking at your mother with your child?". well mum, i can tell you that i feel like i'm the most luckiest person alive whenever i get to see Aidan in your secure, loving arms. i feel like i'm the happiest person alive whenever i get to see Aidan laughing with you... i feel extremely proud it's like this feeling like you're on top of those snowcapped mountains in Switzerland (will show pictures soon!), standing on top of the world!

Not only she's my idol, she's my role model, she's my best friend, she's my advisor... she insipires me to be the best that i can, she teaches me so so much, and the best part is she's extremely, EXTREMELY understanding - you're way way cool mum!

Since you're moving houses, settling the last few minor details with the apartment, i thought i'd send you this postcard instead. the real card and your present will be waiting for you in your room upstairs, here in Holland. hurry up! we cant wait to see you again and make lots of memories together. we miss and love you dearly.

You're one in a million. and how fortunate we are to have you as our mum. and mum, just to let you know, we're extremely proud to be your daughters.

Here's to all mothers and soon to be mothers, i wish you all the love in the world. it is honestly a reward, a joy and such an amazing experience to be one.

Here's to you Mum, just for being you!

Happy Mother's Day!

With love!

Italian Dream Part 2 - Bello!

2008-05-08T21:40:00.003+02:00

MENAGGIO

The next day we went to Menaggio. this town is at the very heart of Lake Como, east of Porlezza, just about 20 mins drive from where we stayed (up and down the hills, through tunnels and roads leading there were less "butt clenching"!!!). Menaggio is a very lively town, defintiely one of the most popular destinations on Lake Como, touristic amongst the europeans as well as locals.

I absolutely adore, love Menaggio! it was simply beautiful and buzzing! as we were busy snapping photos of Aidan, an old man approached us, and he spoke in Italian. we of course couldnt understand a word he was saying but it was something about Aidan. we then nodded and smiled and replied in English. few mins later he walked away. as we were about to leave and walk to our car, we bumped into him again. this time, he was with his wife. he introduced her to Aidan and then spoke in English. he has 10 children. 7 are married, and he has 17 grandchildren. he then spoke in italian again, and as we said our goodbyes and waived to the old couple, he then said "goodbye beautiful family". to which i felt so incredibly touched and wanted to hug him straight away.

With my two buys having fun, with the beautiful view, and that topped it off. It certainly made my day.

So.. that was Menaggio. it was simply breathtakingly beautiful. every corner, every alley, everywhere we turned. lots of pictures still in our minds, we had some fond memories of that place. (nin, here's to you, pictures of me!)

We then drove up to the hills and passed by little villages- Loveno, Logo, Piazzo, Ligomena, Plesio, Molino Spinzi, before finally stopping at the top - Breglia. it was recommended that we take a path leading to the top of the hill, and they claim that you'd get the best views to witness Menaggio and the little villages around it.

Hardy went up to the hills alone to catch the view. i had to stay in the car with Aidan as he was catching his nap, probably dreaming of the girl he saw earlier at the playgroud!

Wish you were there che Ferran!

Will share more! till next time, have a good friday guys, with all our love!

Italian Dream Part 1 - Bonjourno!

2008-05-08T01:05:00.001+02:00

We drove down to Italy straight from Sittard. it was in total of 9 hours including the 4 stops we had at the services for Aidan to stretch and run and fuel (both our tummies and car) to fill. i was excited since it was my first trip to Italy. passed Switzerland, and the view was simply beautiful, every turn was a picture opportunity, you dont know where to turn snap first! i was even more excited when i saw the snowcapped mountains, eventhough it was raining. gosh, there's too much to tell. i really feel that i have to write about every single thing but i should make this simple and hopefully enjoyable to read.

To Porlezza (the butt clenching stretch!)

We had to endure small roads from Lugano (Swizerland) to Porlezza (Italy). by this, i really mean small, SMALL narrow roads. i was clenching everything - my butt, my fists, my lips, my jaws, my toes, everything! i swear to God the road was so so small! the Italian drivers added my stress level everytime they drove pass us - they drive really fast. i suppose they know their way and besides, they drive small tiny cars. we on the other hand drive an estate approx 2.5 mtrs long and about 2ish mtrs wide (hardy, feel free to correct me). and to add to my stress level and blood pressure, Hardy was enjoying that whole stretch of road and kept saying "hey, this is fun" after turning at every corner. i kept giving him a mean stern look.

We have the cliffs on one side, and the lake on the other. i couldnt even enjoy the scenery let alone snap photos! i was biting my lips everytime a car passes by. a couple of inch "makan jalan" to your left, you'd hit the cliffs, a couple of inch "makan jalan" to your right, and you'll ended up in the lake (nauzubillah). the roads were as the malays would say "ngam ngam" (just enough) for 2 cars, and some you'd have to wait for your turn. andddddd...... there were so so many tunnels!!! tunnels here, tunnels there and everywhere! a few tunnels you'd have to wait for your turn as they were way to small to fit 2 cars.

This is definitely not something you'd want to go through if you have a weak heart! and most importantly, if you're driving, you need to have strong driving skills (thank god i wasnt driving!), and those not driving, you really got to trust that person behind the wheels! and for penakut passengers like me, please brace yourselves passing through from Lugano to Porlezza! but it was such a relief once we're done with that stretch and the view was worth it!

PORLEZZA

After a good half an hour stretch of "butt clenching torture", we arrived at Porlezza. the place where we stayed for 6 days. it is right at the north, the tip, the end of Lake Lugano. Hardy booked us a family home, very spacious, very clean, very nice, new, picturesque scenary from our balcony. the place was very popular amongst the Dutch! left, right, behind us were the mountains and just infront of us was this spactacular view of Lake Lugano. you'd even enjoy the mountains when you open the bathroom window!

We stayed on the 2nd floor, and what a view we had!

After a much well rested night, we woke up to a bright sun shiny morning and headed staright out. we went round the porto, and walked to its town. and by mid day, we were starving. what else but Pizza and Pasta (and Italian Coffee for some!)

You must be thinking this must be a dead town. how come there isnt anyone walking? well, the thing with Italy (at least this part), they close for lunch from 12.30pm to 3pm! so remember that when you go visit!

MILANO

We decided to drive down to Milan the next day as the weather was not on our side at Porlezza. Milan was just 60kms and that's about an hour drive from where we stayed. finding a parking was a little bit challenging though but we managed well thanks to a salesperson in MuiMui! now, to drive into Italy is one thing, and to drive into Milan is another thing! i dont have such courage nor patience for such things! i suppose God is fair, He gives you a partner, that completes you! hahaha!!

If you're in Holland, you will see a lot of men in suits on a bicycles. but in Milan, you will see men in their italian suits on scooters! they are REALLY stylish and their suits are REALLY nice and well made! Italy is definitely home for good fashion! there's a lot of history to this city, but i'm not a history person, Hardy is! they say a picture says a thousand words (though these photos dont do justice to these places). if only i could share this experience with you guys in real life, i would, but pictures are the best that i can do. so i'll leave you guys to it to enjoy!

There you have it, our first part of our spring vacation. more pictures coming up in my next few posts! and as i'm writing this, my dear husband Hardy is in Milan, again! but this time he's there for work. i dont mind going to Milan again... *clears throat* (to hardy: i'll plan the trip next time!)

I'm tempted to go on, but its very very late.. i should head to bed! good night everybody. till my next post!

Our Spring 'Road' Trip - We're Back!

2008-05-06T08:33:00.003+02:00

We're home!! we arrived home Sunday night after travelling for more than 2500 kms, after passing probably a hundred of tunnels, but with our hearts filled, our face still smiling eventhough we were tired, our tummies filled with pasta and pizzas (and not to mention italian ice cream) and our car full with dirty clothes. we really REALLY had a good time but nothing beats your own home, your own bed, your own kitchen and RICE (i miss rice).

I'm now doing my 3rd round of washing, but thank god the house is clean, we (hardy mostly) cleaned it right before we shoot off for our holidays. groceries are stocked, Aidan is well rested and happy, Hardy's back to work and i'm back to blogging and crafting. we're still downloading our photos from our 2 cameras (almost 2000 photos, can you believe it?!!) and i'm still selecting which ones to show them to you (having a tough time with that!). will do them today and hopefully will post on our trip tonight!

So there were were, the 3 of us, on our road trip to Italy, where we passed 6 (i think yes, 6) countries - from Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Liechtenstein, Austria.

The swiss snocapped mountains are exactly like those on Toblerone chocolate boxes, and i now know why Fiat created such small cars like Chicochento! till my next post... arrivederci!

Z

Op Vancantie!

2008-04-27T23:37:00.006+02:00

Sunglasses - check!

Sandals - check!

Snacks - check!

Tom Tom - check!

Car oil - checked!

Fuel - tank's full!

Bags - all packed!

Off we go!! off we go on our spring vacation to Italy! we'll blog soon with photos! till our next post!! take care everyone!

I'm All Good!

2008-04-22T22:14:00.008+02:00

I feel like hugging each and every one of you. i wish i could thank you all in person. not only you've brighten out my days with each comments, but the concern and care that you've showed was trully overwhelming.

I've just realized (after reading Violetsky's recent comment via my notification through my email), that i havent informed everyone in here, my friends, that i am now ok. i am so terribly sorry for making most of you worried. it wasnt my intention.

The day i wrote that post, i was feeling much much better compared to the night before. but soon after, the next day, i fell ill. oh, it was dreadful! i was in bed for 2 days! it was such a lovely week (weather wise), the sun was out, birds chirping, kids cycling and shouting playing outside, my tulips were blooming, and there i was, in bed! i am now under antibiotics. but i'm all alive, alert, no cramps so i can now go back to my crafts and cooks, back to being bouncy (but not bossy), and back blogging!

I seldom fall sick. seldom. how i wish all the bugs will stay away from me from now on. i hate being in bed the whole time, you just cant do anything! luckily we've got telly and satelite in the room, so i can watch my aussie soaps - home & away and neighbours! i love taking care of people, i love pampering them, making sure they're ok, well fed, well entertained, everything well! so when i'm down, i feel useless.

But anyway, lets not talk about what had happened ;) i managed to get back on my feet again last Saturday, and by Sunday, we were out to our friend's place. we had a good time, bloody good dinner and such wonderful company!

I have got so so many comments to reply. not to mention text msgs and emails. i will reply them individually, i promise, but its gonna take a little bit more time ya? i cant thank you all enough! the distance didnt keep us apart, mum, kakak were all there for me. what a comfort!

[p.s: yes, the doctor came (my face was just like that photo of Aidan when hardy told me the doctor's coming). no i am not depressed and unhappy. i am very much happy being here without warung saga! according to him, it was a very strong flu virus (hardy was paying attention more to what he was saying and i was still sulking like Aidan there). the cramps, probably due to me doing gardening (i was just trying to pull out some sharp plants so that it wont poke Aidan!), he said since i'm not vommitting, it was nothing serious, and if it were to happen again, i should get it checked properly, at the hospital. told me to take lots of water, lots and lots (mommy cool you're absolutely right!) so there we have it! i'm all good now. i suppose i have got to stop being super-bionic- miss"i have to do everything". its nice to be cared for once in a while!]

All my love,

Some days....

2008-04-16T16:23:00.004+02:00

Some days are better than others. some days are harder than usuals. some days are slightly more challenging then normal days... and that day was yesterday.

It started off ok. just like any other day. we got up, got Aidan ready for school, went down for breakfast, got in the car, drove Aidan to school, went to the Post Office, and then i came back home. spoke to mum on the phone. and by lunch time, fetched Aidan back from school. after that, i find it hard to breathe. i couldnt take a full breath. there was like these needles, loads of needles poking me in my tummy and waist and my chest was very tight. it then got worse. i felt the pain when i caugh, when i sneeze and even when i laugh.

Hardy called during his transit at Brussels Airport from Milan. i told him of my condition. he was rushing to catch his next plane to Birmingham and i could hear him being worried. of course i didnt want to make him worry even more, i woudnt want to be a cry-baby. i then put up a brave voice, and let the stronger side, the positive side prevail.

After dinner, it got really bad. the pain was more intense. Aidan was already asleep by that time, so i continued replying most of my mails and comments. but by that time, it was unbareable. i took a few asprins and tried to lie down on the bed. but it was such a struggle even to lie down. i couldnt move, the pain then spread to the back of my right shoulder. i then began to sweat and felt hopeless. i was trying to think of what might be the cause but just couldnt even bother coz the pain was really getting to me. Hardy rang as soon as he reached Birmingham, and not only that i was in pain, i was in tears as well. i just couldnt take it. i finally broke down. and that's when he said, " i'll catch the next plane back home."

I was tired, sleepy and in pain. my son was asleep and my husband's away. i'm pretty sure everyone of our friends were asleep too. i struggled the night and somehow i managed to shut my tired eyes. waking up almost 4 times during the night. Aidan's napping now, but i dont sleep during the day. so tonight, i am in need of quality rest and sleep.

This is the thing with me, i am at times very stubborn, i think of too many people and too much. i said no to Hardy wanting to call me a doctor, i said no to Hardy wanting to call our friends and neighbours, i said no to Hardy coming home early, and this morning, i said no to Hardy asking me to go to our doctor. all with multiple reasons as to why i didnt want to.

I then told myself, if i can pull off a 24 hour labour, i should be able to pull THIS off! i just had to be strong coz Aidan needs me when he wakes up. i kept praying for the pain to go away.

Being away, far far away from people whom you trust and love is not really nice. we have a great life here, syukur, we do. we have wonderful friends (maybe not many but the ones that we have are good wonderful people) and lovely, beautiful, caring neighbours. most of my friends back home kept telling me - isnt it wonderful to be away from hectic Malaysia, away from gossips, away from those busybodies who talk about you and always comparing you with others (especially with my past!), it must be nice to live away from it all.

I kept saying, " it is nice, yes. but always, there's a price to pay with almost everything. God is fair." it sometimes can suck! big time! missing warung saga's nasi ayam goreng, tip top's ikan bakar, halal burger king... and just take last night for example! but without having to go through pain, there wouldnt be brighter days.

At the time of pain, i wished Hardy was next to me, i wished Mum and Dad were here, i wish Kakak and Redza were here, and i really wish Dr. Chng, our family doctor in JB were here (i wish i could trust the dutch doctors, i have had bad experiences with them and lost almost all my confidence in the dutch medical profession).

I am now feeling much much better. still hurts when i try to take deep breaths. but not as bad as yesterday. Hardy's coming home in a short while, cant wait! i normally cook something up when he comes home, but i dont think i'll be doing so this time (i wish warung saga is just around the corner), but i hope he's still looking forward to coming home minus the food!

It was just one of those days...(i hope...). so there you go guys, shows that you just cant have it all... be grateful, always.

Z

Our Date With The Ducks

2008-04-10T22:26:00.013+02:00

Today was our date with the ducks. it was a beutiful day, 15c with the sun out shining.

Yeaayyy! We're gonna feed the ducks!!!

Alamak! Banyaknya!

Ok... i can do this... i'm not scared!

Bread please mama....

Hmm... they all seem to be liking this, perhaps i should try some...

Tak pe lah... i'll have lunch at home... there you go duckies.. smakelijk!

And here are a couple of videos of Aidan and the ducks....

Alright then... tot volgende keer! dag...........

We then went for a stroll at the park near our home. Spring is definitely here. Weather's been glorious lately! we had a really nice day. looking forward to papa coming home from Vienna later tonight... we wish you were there with us. we'll go again this weekend!

Have a great weekend everyone! Enjoy the weather, wherever you are!

My Day & Many Many Thanks to You All

2008-04-08T03:15:00.004+02:00

I've just had a wonderful birthday weekend. Hardy came back from Riyadh with bags and bags of dates, just in time for my birthday. he took the day off just so we can spend more hours together. i woke up that morning with a big hortensia plant on our dining table. one of my favourite flowers. i was hoping there'd be a treassure hunt again like last year's but this year's was as equally good and exciting, full of unexpected presents!

Phone was busier than normal days. and the doorbell was busy than normal days too! thanks a bunch for all the phonecalls, text msgs, deliveries, presents and flowers (you know who you are!). but apart from that, i had a not-s0-busy, actually quite a relaxing weekend.

I told Hardy that, it's just a normal day and lets not make a big fuss over it. to which he replied - you're my boss this weekend! he did almost everything around the house that day and that weekend, without me asking him to. such a sweetheart. but anyway, the morning was spent just the two of us. Aidan went to school for 4 hours and his mama and papa had a good stroll holding hands just like the old days before they began pushing a stroller. fetched aidan at school and had the whole school wish me a good day. we then had our lunch and brought Aidan to an indoor playhouse. we went shopping for lights for our living and dining room and then off to sittard square for my birthday dinner.

I'd take it as he had fun at the restaurant despite the lack of sleep/nap he had that afternoon.

Thank you guys, thanks so so much for the birthday wishes. you're all just too kind. i'm overwhelmed. there's a card just for you guys here!

Here's to good health, good hearts, good life and good friendships! thanks once again!

(p.s: papa bear and mini bear, i had loads of fun. thank you both so very much! i love you boys with all my heart and soul, more each day)

Mama Bear a.k.a Zaza

{31}

2008-04-04T00:27:00.004+02:00

Its Friday! its friday! and it's my birthday!! yipeeyayeyyy!!

I am going to write the same things as i wrote in my other blog... so here goes!

When one gets older and hopefully much wiser, there isnt much to celebrate. instead of celebrating, one needs to be thankful. i am indeed thankful to so, so many things in life.

But this year's different. unlike previous years, this year, i am extremely at ease with my age. i am proud to be the person that i am. i am pleased with what i have accomplished. i am extremely grateful with what i have. i am extremely thankful with all His blessings and i grew to be much much happier than previous years.

Birthdays are suppose to be for our mum and dads, for giving us life, for giving us love, for putting up with us, for giving us their best. birthdays are suppose to be for those who shapes us into what we are today. and with that, i have got so many people to thank.

And of course my life was complete with the presence of Hardy. i have more life in me than i ever had before. i then entered motherhood. and when Aidan came into the world, i've never felt so content. every minute now is worth the pain i endured during labour!

So today, i ask myself what more can i possibly wish for. i have had the best years, the best people - family and friends, the best love, the best of everything in life. i should really, really be thankful.

31 today. 31 wonderful years filled with love, fun, sorrows, ups and downs. just one wish. i wish everybody could feel as happy and loved, if not much much more than what i'm currently feeling!

Home & Away

2008-04-01T00:03:00.001+02:00

We've been talking to Hardy on the phone for the past 5 days (thus why i've been blogging almost every day!). he calls home almost 3 times a day. yes, he's away again, for another long period. i'm now ok with him travelling. i just hope he's ok with it. it can be tiring too at times, i'm sure. i did cry that morning, at 4am, waiving at him as the taxi drove on. but as the days went on, we were ok, Aidan was well and we're happy, enjoying ourselves, taking walks, strolls and drives - just the 2 of us.

You know, opportunities like this doesnt come often. we consider ourselves very lucky to be here. and yes, with that, there are some goods and bads, there are advantages and disadvantages. and we're taking them in. all of it. Aidan kept on looking out of the window and calls out "papa" at 5ish or so, coz that's normally the time when Hardy comes home from work. i can feel he misses him. for me, it can be lonely too at times, especially at night, that's when we watch telly together, we talk and talk and have bedtime stories (let it be politics or plain gossips - to which Hardy doesnt participate!). but for sure, one thing good is, when Hardy's away this long, i can lose some kilos!

Toasts, mushroom soup, maggi mee, sardines for the past 4 days for dinner! its not much fun eating on your own, of course there's Aidan but... still..! and as for Hardy? well with all his hard work, his time travelling, he gets to enjoy sushi, t bone steak, mc donalds (halal mc donalds is luxury for us!) ... and not just that, he gets to enjoy the view on his 34th floor hotel. he gets to see half of Riyadh and make new acuaintences.

Hardy's been working too hard lately. sometimes i worry, but most of the time i'm happy. busy means good! today's gonna be a very important day for him. nervewrecking i'm sure (i'd probably pee my pants off!) but what an opportunity! an opportunity we should be thankful for!

So here's to papa, we hope you'll read this in the morning..
You'll surely shine papa.. Good Luck! we're very proud of you, hope all goes well and we'll see you at home later!! hugs and kisses: Aidan & Mama.

He's coming home and we're going to have a feast!

Baby - Boy

2008-03-31T13:59:00.007+02:00

You will know when he's no longer a baby when:

1. you will buy less pampers
2. he can take off his jacket on his own
3. he can pull the zip of his jacket on his own
4. we no longer need to lie him down on the changing table to change his clothes
5. he can take off his own shoes
6. he can climb and run
7. he can dance
8. he knows the diffeence between a real handphone and his plastic toy one
9. he can converse with you, in his own language and understands what you're saying
10. he wants to try ayam masak kari, masak kicap and sambal belacan
11. he can be asked around - please put it on the table, lets sit down and eat, can you please clean up the mess, he passed with flying colours!

AND..
you will realise it more when you no longer head to the baby section for his clothes but head to the boys section. and then you will realise that their clothes are getting more expensive!

I'm amazed,.every single day. and i'm very proud of him. Aidan's really growing. but he's still my baby...

Snowy Spring

2008-03-30T14:13:00.002+02:00

We have had a snowy start to spring. it snowed last week. we have had plenty of snow showers, hail and sleet. it's not suppose to snow, it's end of march! my tulips, hyacinths and daffodils (probably the only 3 flowers i currently have in my garden), are in total shock! they're now confused as to whether they should come out and bloom!!! i just pray that they wont die on me! i'm sure it wont cause it wasnt me who planted them, it was dad. he planted the bulbs for us last autumn. he has green hands and whatever he plants will surely grow!

We were in the car, back from the DIY store, getting my picket fence, and this was the view.

It snowed the next morning too. our car covered with snow. but slowly melting away....

View from Aidan's room. on the right is our garage roof, and below is the roof to our dining room and kitchen.

My olive tree on the right (fingers crossed, please grow, please please).

Weather's much better this week. we even played in the garden. hope it'll stay! till my next post (which is going to be very soon!), have a great week ahead guys!

My Baby Boy Bunny

2008-03-23T23:38:00.004+01:00

Being in a foreign land (which we now call home), it's always nice to learn of other cultures and celebrations - the carnaval, sinterklaas.. and today, it's pasen, or easter. Aidan went easter egg hunting last friday at school and brought back some chocolade eitjes (chocolate mini eggs). the best thing about sending your child to playschool/nursery is that not only they get the exposure and you get your own time, but they'll come back with loads of scribbles, coloured papers, and all sorts of craft! he came back with bunny ears, eggs, chocolates and some coloured bunny drawings he coloured himself.

As promised, Aidan got his bite of chocolate today. ok, bites. but only today. i dont give him sugar, but today's an exception. so after breakfast, he had one whole chocolate. (consider it a belated treat for your 18 months ya Aidan!). we enjoyed counting the eggs, as they get lesser and lesser by the minute (yes, guilty... we ate them too!)

It is very important for us to learn of other backgrounds, religion and cultures. and most importantly to respect them too. we dont celebrate easter, we just enjoy the chocolates and the decotations at the shops. but to those of you who celebrate easter, hope you've had a good weekend! tomorrow is still a public holiday for us, i'm gonna make full use of my time and enjoy them with my boys!

Hope Aidan will feel better tomorrow (he woke up with a slight tempreature this morning). have a good week ahead everyone!

My Haven Home

2008-03-18T09:33:00.004+01:00

I remember back when i was younger, i used to LOVE playing "house" or the malay word "pondok pondok". i'd go to my favourite corner, grab some pegs and put up a cloth to make the roof, i'd take my dolls and my toys and just stay, play in my so called house. i was the happiest. and if i was outside, i would ask dad to put up my smurf tent, and i'd have my tea party with kakak and the rest of the gang (toys!) i can recall every single minute, we have photos of us having our little tea party, but they're not with me now, p.s: is it with you fi?

As years went by, i told myself that eventhough it might take me ages, but i would love to have my own house. back then, i could picture my own house with my little white picket fences infront of the house, a garden of daisys, an apple tree, white windows and doors... and here i am, away, far far away from that little corner where i used to put up the cloths, hundreds and hundreds of miles away from where that smurf tent once stood, i have a home- a dream came true.

One would be surprised to see what we have embarked ourselves into, almost 3 years ago. we bought an old, old house and had a huge renovation done to it. back then, having been in The Netherlands for less than half a year, being pregnant with our first child, little knowledge in dutch language, no relatives, little friends whom you can rely and trust, we were CRAZY! absolutely crazy to actually want this house, and get it. getting the mortgage was a huge problem, and we had a dateline too, since my tummy was getting bigger. but we have had good, very good and nice people who helped us, from the person responsible getting us the mortgage and sorting all the paperwork, to the man who laid the bricks (there's a post and pics i once wrote here - in loving memory). now, we're slowly, putting in the interiors, bit by bit. it takes time to furnish the house. and having had just a little bit of rezeki lately, last week, we bought another sofa. a single seater sofa to be added alongside our 2 sitter.

As i sat on my new sofa today (after ironing!), with my tea, looking back at what we had gone through, looking at our living room, dining room and a glimpse of our kitchen from where i was sitting, and not to mention our floor (Hardy, Dad, Kakak & Redza did the whole entire flooring of the house), i thank God for all the help, and the patience, and all His blessings, for getting us through one of the most challenging period of our lives. it turned out just the way we'd dream of.

I can only imagine what Aidan's feeling, and what he thinks of his new "house". no major renovation though. with just a bit of his papa's creativity with the sofa boxes, he now has his own "pondok pondok" (mama's creativity will come later, i'll help him choose the paint to colour his walls and windows!).

(oh, hardy's gonna help me put up my white picket fence and plant an apple tree this summer!)

I remember my parents always taught me on the importance of loving your home and to love being in your own home. its not about putting expensive furnitures and fittings, it's about making it a home, making it your own, and not to mention filling it with love. i absolutely love being at home, it is my absolute haven.

A Housewife's Chore

2008-03-06T23:00:00.002+01:00

I am so terrible. when mum was here, she irons all our clothes - happily. she'd pull the ironing board closer to the telly, turned to Jeremy Kyle (a talk show), and irons away. and boy she's good at it (amongst many many other things!) you'd see the rails all empty, and all shirts tucked away, hung in our cupboards.

Hardy's shirts are getting more and more now since the "travelling year" and the year of conferences year began. i find myself washing more these days, not to mention Aidan's clothes gets dirty pretty fast too. now there's rows and rows of them, in our laundry room, just waiting for me to straighten them out. i tend to put it on hold, day after day... besok lah... and when tomorrow comes, besok lah. i seldom put household chores on hold but just this one. this tiny teeny one - this ironing bit.

As i was ironing last night, with no telly on, thoughts came pouring (your mind can REALLY go places when you're ironing!). then i thought, 3 years ago, i wasnt doing these. there wasnt any hoovering (3 floors mind you!), there wasnt much ironing (for 3 people), there wasnt any much cooking (for 2 1/2 people - aidan counts as half!). wouldnt it be nice to have a maid, just a weekend one like my neighbour. gosh.. god knows how expensive they are over here!

I feel like a housewife more when i'm ironing!

The good one sitting on my right ear then whispered to me, you're doing this for your husband and your son. not that you're working, not that you have 3 kids. and by doing this you'll be rewarded, with pahala. 3 years ago you werent this happy, what more do you want, just look at the boys and what you have now. and then happy thoughts came pouring- with Hardy coming back from the office and kissing me on my forehead, grabbing Aidan and tossing him up, wrestling with him on the floor... why did i think about getting a maid?! i should be grateful that i have all this time to do the chores for them! it's all trully worth it.

We knew before our big move here that we wont be having such kind of help, no maid, no familes to leave Aidan for a short while for you to get some rest when you're down, no cheap warung stalls to go to for dinner when you dont feel like cooking.... but all the good stuff of being here outweighs them. it works more for us. ironing? what's ironing!?

I better stop. gonna go downstairs and finish up ironing. but wait.. american idol's about to start! heheh..

Have a good weekend everyone!

Win & Lose

2008-03-04T22:59:00.004+01:00

Sorry for not writing for almost a week. me throat got the better of me, and i wasnt feeling dandy lately. only now i'm feeling better back to writing and crafting.

So, ok... i've counted the votes (thank you guys, for all the comments, i practically laughed my way through each and every one of them!). vote's been counted and Aidan won! he's cuter. of course he's cuter. that wasnt my best angle you see. but anyway, not that i mind loosing to him at all... :) you should see my other photos when i was Aidan's age! sama, serupa, sebiji!

*******************

I am now officially adicted to ebay. i dont know why i've only just discoverd the thrill of bidding, i am so terribly slow at all these - only recently i discovered and actually tried out photoshop (click here to see my new header). and now, ebay! where have i been!?! i find myself clicking on to ebay at least 4-5 times a day. i find myself wanting more and more things. i find myself wishing i have more to spend (so not good!). but i finally found it. i found one item that i wanted. i scouted for it, i was patient, i was lucky and i WON! yeyheyyy! i kept refreshing the page right until it says "Congrats". i then shouted "i WON!"Aidan looked at me and started to clap his hands! i straight away called Hardy and broke the news! the best thing about both my boys, whenever i'm happy, they'd react happy and thrilled as well! haha!! mama... mama...

*******************

And so the Malaysian Elections are on back home. anyone voting?

The Mirror Has Two Faces!

2008-02-25T00:30:00.003+01:00

Guess who?!?

Dont we look alike?! who's cuter?!

Safety First

2008-02-18T22:26:00.003+01:00

Aidan's growing really fast. his height is now 84cm, which is way above average for his age (and so we've been told). he is one strong boy, and can now reach the top of our dining table and our island in the kitchen. he's exploring each and every corner of the house. as soon as he turned one, we installed all the safety locks and added bumpers and gates. we childproof almost everything in the house.

He loves climbing up the stairs, going in the kitchen, playing underneath the table, reaching for things on the kitchen counters, poking into those socket holes and not to mention pulling the kitchen drawers (alltogether we have 13 drawers and 5 doors at his level). so imagine my concerns and worries.

At this age, he gets curious all the time. we'd better be safe, than sorry. thankfully all the gadgets and gates are made affordably and of good quality here. i just wish it is affordable, and in good quality everywhere in the world as well, there shouldnt be a price for safety.

Its coming... it's coming...

2008-02-14T22:41:00.002+01:00

Aidan is extremely close to Hardy. for the past 5 days, every morning when Aidan wakes up, he comes into our room, and stood by Hardy's side of the bed. hoping that his papa will be there, under the duvet, somewhere. for the past 5 days, he's been listening to his papa's voice on the phone. for the past 5 days, mama's been driving the car, not papa. for the past 5 days, mama's been tucking him to bed, and not his papa. for the past 5 days, we've been eating our lunches and dinner infront of the telly (shouldnt!). for the past 5 days, there wasnt any tossing and tumblling, and all those stunt moves. for the past 5 days, there wasnt a tune to chan mali chan.

But hey, tomorrow's Friday!!!

And papa's coming home tomorrow!!! yeayyyyyy!! papa's coming home tomorrow!!!

We miss you sooooo terribly much papa. cant wait for you to come home tomorrow!!

No Kidding!

2008-02-11T21:55:00.000+01:00

Back in Malaysia, you can fill up your tyres with air free of charge. just go into any petrol stations and you'll see the pump.

Here, in the Netherlands, its pretty much the same. just go to any petrol stations and you'll see the pump. but before the air gets to travel the tube to your tyres, you'd have to put 0,50 cents in the machine first.

Yes, air costs 0,50 cents.

I remembered once, when we first moved here, we were on our way back home, from a long journey. we were on the highway and stopped for petrol and air. Hardy filled up the tank and drove towards the pump. he got out, he stood there and later smiled towards me.

Hardy: "we have to pay for air".
Zaza: "thats ridiculous! hah? serious? you're kidding me! jom carik tempat lain" (lets find another petrol station)
Hardy: "i think they're all the same, we're in holland!"
Zaza: "then we go to belgium or germany!"'
Hardy: "noooOOOoooo... if we have to pay, we have to pay...."

Hahaha.. thank goodness we are in sittard! where both belgium and germany are 10 mins drive!!

When you pay 0,50 cents, you have 5 minuites of air!!

But anyway, we paid for it. unlike Hardy, i seriously need to adapt myself to the country. the last thing i want now that i live here is to be a kiasu.

Guys, if you're getting air for free, never ever take it for granted!

For us, even if we have to pay high taxes, even if they charge us for our garbage, even if we complain about the weather sometimes, and the 0,50 cents for 5 minuites of air, we still love it here!!

Z

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-08T10:41:00.001+01:00

Here's wishing all our chinese friends, readers of ours, a

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

To our blog friends, Rita Ho, Gert, Zara&Zaria's mama, Cat, U.Lee, Rose, sending you guys tonnes of love and wishing all of you everything good for this year!

Winter in Paris

2008-02-06T21:51:00.000+01:00

There were times when i wish i could live somewhere in the big cities of the netherlads, and not in Sittard. Den Haag perhaps, closer to our friends Noreen and Daniel, so that i can go gossip cakap melayu with Noreen. Rotterdam perhaps, closer to my new friend Nina K, and hopefully will get to meet K.Muna as well... the bigger the cities, the more international they are. but i must admit that Sittard is not a bad place to live in. i'm loving it more and more now. especially when we're geographycally ideal to visit major cities of Europe. Brussels is just an hour away, Prague is 8 hours drive, Dusseldorf is an hour away, and Paris is just 4 hours away from home!

Hardy and i share the love for travelling. ideally by car. it gives us the flexibility, mainly on timing. it was Carnaval weekend (when the Dutch go weird and crazy wearing colourful costumes, really nice though!) right up till yesterday, so Hardy planned us a trip to Paris. this was my 3rd trip (first one being 6 years old, too small to remember anything). and our 2nd trip since we got here. the first time was in 2006, when i was 5 months pregnant with Aidan (you can read about it in my old friendster blog, but you'd really have to look and scroll for it).

And this time, we thought i'd be nice to witness Eifel when the sun sets. we missed it but it turned out to be even much more beautiful at night. there's just something about Eifel Tower that makes me melt inside and go all awwwee. i wish everyone would have the privilage to visit Eifel one day. it's simply spactacular.

Here's one with Aidan posing infront of Notre Dame. i'm sure when he's old enough he'll appreciate it more and probably whine at me as to why did i tie his mufla like a makcik! sorry dan...

And one last place before we head home, back to Sittard, would have to be Roland Garros. tennis was once my life. my dream to witness one of the Grand Slam tournaments came true 2 years back where Hardy brought me for one of the matches at Roland Garros. and this visit, we brought Aidan to the grounds. too early for the actual tournament but just to have a feel. Aidan now can swing both forehand and backhand, and guess what i'm gonna buy him for his 2nd birthday!?! hopefully i'll get to sell my cards!

We had a lovely time. a good winter break. but if you ask me would i want to live in Paris, i'd give it a pass. it's beautiful, and there's plenty to love, but way to hectic for someone like me. and to actually drive in Paris, you need tonnes of guts, a brave heart and be 200% confident! (way to go papa!)

Z

Excuses

2008-02-05T23:43:00.000+01:00

Ok... ok... we know we havent been writing... we're terribly sorry. but there are few good explanations as to why we've been quiet... so hear us out!

1. we've been spending some quality time together as a family since Hardy got back from Saudi.

2. we've been spending some quality time together as a couple since Hardy got back from Saudi.

3. we've been busy socializing with Hardy's friends at work (ie. the whole department) - ok.. ok.. it was just for one night that we partied till morning... but still... this is a valid excuse!

4. we've (i mean Hardy) been busy planning for our short winter break.

5. i have been very very busy playing with my new craft machine Hardy bought for me last couple of weeks. (click here to see what i've been doing).

6. Hardy's been extremely busy lately at work (good! good! the sky's the limit bebeh!)

7. and we were away for 3 days. we went to Paris. we just got back.

Will download our photos and share them with you (hopefully tomorrow)! so guys, forgive us for not writing much sooner!

For now, we're gonna call it a day and tuck ourselves in our thick fluffy duvet.

Tot morgen!

Z

Overwhelmingly.....

2008-01-17T19:55:00.000+01:00

That's probably the prefix word that would describe my feeling.....happy, closed, glad, grateful, submissive, nice, relieved and small. Alhamdulillah, my umrah went well. I was in awe trying to grasp with my own sense of feeling the first time I saw Masjidil Haram. It is indeed, awesome. We've probably seen Kaabah a zillion times but to experience it live, it's a blessing. Looking around at the sheer scale of it, where more than 3 million visitors annually - I am just lost for words trying to grasp on the idea of its total logistics, accomodation and the entire arrangement. Simply amazing. Subhanallah.

I'm thankful to A.Yob for all the arrangements he made, syukran. Abdul Rahman who joined me to Mekah, a Lebanese and 27 years Jeddah resident, is a mechanic himself, started when he was 7. He repaired cars and the likes. Before he dropped me off at the airport, he showed me a trick. We were in his car - manual transmission. He could change gear without having to press the clutch, 2 to 5 and backwards - almost like a semi automatic! Maybe you have seen it before but I certainly haven't. Now, that's really cool.

Another hour to boarding, can't wait to go home now. I miss my sweet and brave hearts. And the heater at home is not working at the moment. Z followed to the exact point on my instruction on trying to operate the so-called-high-tech digital thermostat (which she hates now...haha). I hope it will work. And she will save everyone from the sejukkk.....well done mama!

H

Faith

2008-01-16T22:56:00.000+01:00

Before Hardy and i got married, he mentioned that one day, he dreams of going to Mecca with me.

Today's Hardy's final day of working in Riyadh. the original plan was for him to come back straight from Riyadh. but he decided to take make a change to his original plans, take a detour to Jeddah and from there, go to Mecca to perform his Umrah. so he'll be coming home a day later, on Friday.

Excited, thrilled, glad, happy, thankful that he got this chance. but at the same time, me being me, i worry. i remembered asking him "how are you gonna get to mekkah?" he said "i'll find my way around, get on a bus, or a cab or something, dont worry". those words made me worry even more, since there wasnt any proper, solid arrangements. he saw me frowning and said, "i'll ask them (his friends in Riyadh) to arrange and help me, shouldnt be any problem, i'm sure there's tonnes of people heading the same direction". i then straight away said "you know, one of my relative went to mekkah and didnt come back!". Hardy being Hardy, he continued teasing me.

I called up my cousin, who works a lot in Saudi and knows his way around there to help me out. almost crying out to him telling that i was worried. as kind and as generous of a person that he always is, he offered Hardy help and send out some of his contacts. comforting. 60% relieved. as usual with our telephone conversations, we laughed and joked about it but his last words hit me. it hit me home. before we ended the phone conversation, he said " Za, jangan risau, Hardy nak buat benda baik, Tuhan sentiasa lindung orang yang nak buat benda baik."

Thank god we were on the phone, if he was to be right infront of me, i wouldnt know where to put myself, duck my head or probably hide under the table. i felt embarrased. for not remembering Him. it made me realize more that we should remember Him, always have faith in Him, as He knows what's best and will always show us the way. how could i ever doubt Him. and why must i worry too much!

I was privillaged. i performed my Umrah when i was 18. there were 3 families, my uncle's, the Ajibs and my family. i wasnt ready back then. not to mention the flights we had to endure before we finally get there (LHR-KL-JB-KL-JED), all in 2 days. i didnt take it seriously. i didnt grab the opportunity with both my two hands, with my soul and full heartedly. back then, i enjoyed shopping in Mecca more, back then i enjoyed looking at the camels more, back then i enjoyed the food more. how silly. but i rememberd my experience. it was only towards the end of it all that i felt close to Him. how i wish i can be with my husband, making the most of Umrah now that i'm wiser. i hope we get to go there again, as a family.

1 week without Hardy. 1 week handling Aidan alone (i wonder how those single parents do it sometimes), 1 week of no serious cooking (my neighbour John said i lost weight!), 1 week of going to bed at half past 10, no later, 1 week of handling errands myself with Aidan tagging along (sending car for repairs, groceries, monthly trip for Aidan's check ups, going to post office etc), and most importantly, 1 week of some serious bonding with Aidan.

What this had done to me was i've bonded more with Aidan. i feel like i love him even more. he's my best friend, my son, my pride and my joy, my son and of course the reason for my backaches, but still i love him more and more. and lately, when we're alone, i cry when he smiles back, i cry when he kisses me, i cry when i look at him sleeping, i cry when he calls out pa-pa-pa-pa.

But despite my cengeng-ness, i'm much calmer, i can handle things my own, i'm a little bit more independent, i dare to drive long distance without Hardy, i have more faith in myself, and i'm making more with what i have. i guess there's a reason for everything. perhaps its about time i should be more confident, perhaps its about time i bond more with Aidan.

2 more days. just 2 more days till Hardy comes home! insyaallah, his dreams of going to Mecca will come true tomorrow. and his dreams of going to Mecca with me will come true one day.

What i prayed for in Mecca some 12 years ago came true. thought he'd never come. took slightly longer though, but it came true! alhamdulillah. (H, if you're reading this before you leave, have a safe journey, make the best of it, we love and we miss you loads, and cant wait for you to come home).

Thank you A.Yob, thank you so so much for all your help and assistance. we love and we miss everyone back home.

Z

Lost Without You

2008-01-13T22:42:00.000+01:00

I did it! i drove to Eindhoven without Hardy sitting next to me for the very first time. my first time driving out of town, long distance, on a highway! after worrying for quite sometime on my first ever long distance drive in the NL, i finally did it! (Sittard to Eindhoven Airport slightly over an hour's drive)

Hardy left for Riyadh yesterday early in the morning, 6.30 am to be exact. and i sobbed like a kid. the taxi came right on the dot. he's away for a whole week. this is actually the first time he's gone for such a long period of time. the most was 3 days, 2 nights. i can sense there's plenty of long trips yet to come. its not that i'm not happy he got this chance to shine, i am, i trully am. its just that i'm gonna miss him oh-so-so much.

For the past one month, we have had the pleasure of the company of my nephew (my cousin's 20 year old son), Faizal. he's currently on his well deserved europe tour (i will write more on him and include some photos in my next posts). and yesterday, we had to say goodbye to him as well, as he was on his next destination - Dublin.

And since Hardy's away, who else is to send Faizal to the airport? he can take the train, of course, but i didnt have the heart to let him be by his own, on the train. i know it'll do him good in gaining his confidence etc but i want to make sure he gets there safe, cheked in and everything. i remembered telling Hardy "i cant, i cant, i cant drive to Eindhoven" in the beginning, and i remembered Hardy telling me "of course you can!" i dont know why i was so afraid. perhaps it was due to the 2 'incidents' i had prior to this, not to mention its left hand drive here, and the fact that our car is a very long one. i doubt myself easily and quite frequently when it comes to driving.

With the help of our Ms. Navigation in the car, i found my way to the airport. it is so so reliable to have one. we travel a lot as a family, and for work (for Hardy). having such system in the car has made travelling much more enjoyable (i dont have to flip through those maps), stress free (no arguing who's right or wrong), and informative as well (learning the shortest route, as well as the detour). we simply cant make it without them! our car's navigation system covers only the Benelux Countries. its simply not enough if we plan to travel beyond Benelux. and so we bought our TomTom early last year.

We've travelled quite a bit for the past year. seriously we did some serious travelling.. and this thing is simply amazing! how modern technology can simplify your journey, your life!

What would i do without you? i'd certainly be lost without you... that's for sure.

2 goodbyes in 1 day, what a weekend! but i did it! i drove back home with Aidan at the back. reached home and straight away thanked God that it was a safe ride. took Aidan out of his car seat and gave him a big huge hug. might be nothing for some of you lot, but this has certainly boost up another 5% of my confidence level!

And since we're on the topic of "lost", here's our current favourite song for winter. enjoy!

To Papa:

It was a beautiful day today. almost like spring! we went to the park and fed the ducks today! and mama brought me to the playground where i met 2 girls, they were twins! they kept saying i was "lief". we miss you lots and cant wait for you to come home.

From Aidan.

2008

2008-01-09T23:35:00.000+01:00

Hardy warned me of 2008. he warned me that he'll be taking up a new role at work. he warned me that he'll be doing a lot of travelling. he warned me that there will be lots of adjustments at work. he warned me that there will be times when i have to deal with things myself, make decisions on my own, run errands without him.

I am not really that independent girl sometimes. or maybe cause i just want to do things with him around? maybe i simply love his company too much and want him to be by my side? ok.. ok... so i am not that independent... and now, 2008 is here.

This is by no means my new years resolution. i dont make them, never in fact. they can be very unrealistic some times. i reckon these are real, besides, this is something i should be doing, all year round...

I hereby announce that i will try my outmost best to:
be much more independent (like driving Faizal to Eindhoven Airport this Saturday, just Aidan and me), i will be calmer (tak cepat melenting), i'll be confident of myself (confident enough to sell of my crafts), i'll be less gullible (they always fool me! them to blame partly!), i'll drive safelier (after having had 2 scratches on the car. but hey! left hand drive and a car of 5 mtrs long, takes time ok!), hope i'll manage the house better (like ironing Hardy's office shirts at least 5 of them in 3 days!), i'll be less cengeng and be stronger (by not worrying and crying when hardy says he has to go to some country for a week), less dwelling (5-15 mins is enough) , be smarter (think smart and not let other people step on me), be able to say "NO" when i should (like when someone wants to sell you something that you dont really need), eat healthy (will have to cut down on rice and those bloody good potatoes!), look better (no more going out when hair's wet, but at least i put on some make up and gloss! ), and not to mention manage our finances better this year.

I just hope 2008 will bring more exciting days, happy times, plenty of good adventures, good holidays, good health for all, loads of fond memories together, more good deeds to others, be even more thankful and grateful to God, be as green as we can to protect the environment, smile more and love more!

Its just 9 days into 2008 and Hardy's already in Lyon, France. and starting this weekend he'll be away for the whole week. i know i should get used to this by now. afterall, we know of this even before coming here that he'll have to travel. oh... come on zaza, you can do it...

Z

Healthy, Happy New Year!

2008-01-07T21:29:00.000+01:00

First of all, allow me to say how sorry i am for not being able to reply to each and every one of your comments. it was a hectic winter break, good but how we wished the bug didnt get to us. almost all got the bug - norovirus. the virus swept most of the people in the UK. some (my sister Fifi, my brother in law Redza and their 6 month old baby Ferran) and now Hardy are still suffering from it. i seriously hope and pray everyone will be back on their feet again, up and running very soon.

Aidan's well now. the nasty chesty cough is still there, but he's improving, back being his bubbly self.

Secondly, allow me to thank each and every single one of you for your kind thoughts, wishes, prayers and kind words. i am so deeply touched. thank you guys, its really nice and very comforting to know that we have such friends in this world. you've touched us.

Thirdly, i hope it's not too late. we'd like to wish ALL of you a VERY HEALTHY, HAPPY (and hopefully wealthy too.. hehe) NEW YEAR 2008!! Hope you like what Aidan and I drew on New Year's Day. sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts, we wish all of you all the good things, all the love, all the happiness and good health in 2008.

Love,

Zaza, Hardy & Aidan

(tonnes to write and share! will get this blog moving for 2008!)

Get Well Aidan

2007-12-29T13:06:00.000+01:00

We're currently in the UK for our winter break. we enjoyed the boxing day sale but unfortunately we're down with some kind of bug. Hardy was down first, and then i was down almost the whole day, and then it hit Aidan.

It is seriously worrying to see your son down. he's having fever, temp of 39.5c, very chesty cough, running nose and diarrhea. extremely clingy, he wants Hardy most of the time, no appetite and whines a lot. very unlike him. i suspect this could be his last stage of teething, or it could be simply the winter bug. he now sleeps on the bed with us, hopefully it'll help. but despite feeling sick, he can still laugh and play. but still.... we are worried, i am still worried sick. this is actually the first time he'd ever been sick like this.

We brought him to Warwick Hospital's A&E last night as his tempreture went up again and got him some new meds. no infection, just a virus, hopefully, he'll get better very very soon, before our journey back to NL.

I have been worrying and crying and not to mention had very little sleep. and at times like this, it made me realize more that money is not everything, health is. and at times like this, your partner needs to be as strong and calm if not, even stronger and calmer. at times like this, you really need to pull yourslf together, for the sake of the child. at times like this, nothing is more important, no sale is worth going, no place you'd rather be than to be with your son.

Get well soon Aidan. i love you very very much.

Z

To Leon & Marianka

2007-12-24T10:40:00.000+01:00

Having been in this country for 2 years now, we are very fortunate and blessed to have known good people who then became good friends. but there's 2 of them that we cant personally send them a card, or wish them our warmest geetings and give them a big hug because they're currently in a different continent (you're missing the good frost here guys!).

2 wonderful people, a handsome couple - LEON & MARIANKA.

Since we cant send you any cards, since you guys are busy travelling asia and enjoying each other's company and creating fond, special memories together, here's a wish for you both, a MERRY CHRISTMAS filled with lots and lots of love and warm wishes.

Enjoy your holidays and we hope to see you guys when you're back. sending you all our love, lots of hugs and kisses!!